Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Jayjay · 03-31-2003, 07:06 AM

An interesting summary, though I believe that the core message of the Holy Bible can be condensed into three little words:

Blah blah blah.

Those interested in the historical context of the Bible might want to familiarize themselves with the Jewish perspective of the scriptures as well:

Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Goliath · 03-31-2003, 01:50 PM

Here's the bible in one sentence:

BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Goliath

(and yes, I'm alive and will try to post some again (for those who care...))

Mageth · 03-31-2003, 02:08 PM

Hah! I guess this thread is proof of resurrection.

For spurly:

Here's my summary of the bible, which interestingly parallels yours, but fills in a few gaps and points out a few of the, ah, interesting bits.

banditoloco · 03-31-2003, 02:10 PM

I would have summed up deutoronomy this way:

See leviticus.

You left out one of my favorites:

Job
Job suffers a lot at the hands of God. Job loves God anyways. Moral: We suffer because God gets bored sometimes (he has lots of time to kill, you know) and "God works in mysterious ways."

winstonjen · 03-31-2003, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hayden
I starting reading a book - I can't remember tha name of it, but I think it had a chicken on the cover - I'll ask my ssister, I think it was hers.

Anyway, some blokes invented a computer that could reduce any body of text into s single sentence. They fed it the OT, and it came back with "Because I said so, that's why."

At least it's concise!

HR

A summary of the NT would go something like this: "Worship me OR ELSE!"

But that's already been covered by many "Pascal's Wager" topics.

The Naked Mage · 03-31-2003, 07:05 PM

"'Use the God' Luke"!

Pffffffffffffffffttttttttthhhhsssssspfffffffffffff ffffttt!

MrFrosty · 03-31-2003, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oxidizing Material
You are all damn dirty sinners and henceforth here's a list of stuff you cannot do:

....
Come into contact with molecules

ROFL. :notworthy

Dark Jedi · 03-31-2003, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jayjay
An interesting summary, though I believe that the core message of the Holy Bible can be condensed into three little words:

Blah blah blah.

Those interested in the historical context of the Bible might want to familiarize themselves with the Jewish perspective of the scriptures as well:

Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Ouch! I have fallen off my chair.

winstonjen · 04-02-2003, 07:05 PM

Random Places for no good Reason or point:

He works in mysterious ways. You can't understand him, but we were special, which is why he dictated his own word to us. Believe and obey it unquestioningly. Oh, and it just APPEARS to be contradictory - read it carefully and interpret it the way we WANT you to, and it makes perfect sense.

Jinto · 04-02-2003, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jayjay
An interesting summary, though I believe that the core message of the Holy Bible can be condensed into three little words:

Blah blah blah.

Those interested in the historical context of the Bible might want to familiarize themselves with the Jewish perspective of the scriptures as well:

Yadda Yadda Yadda.

:notworthy

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03-31-2003, 07:06 AM	#11
Jayjay Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Finland Posts: 6,261	An interesting summary, though I believe that the core message of the Holy Bible can be condensed into three little words: Blah blah blah. Those interested in the historical context of the Bible might want to familiarize themselves with the Jewish perspective of the scriptures as well: Yadda Yadda Yadda.

03-31-2003, 01:50 PM	#12
Goliath Banned Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Fargo, ND, USA Posts: 1,849	Here's the bible in one sentence: BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sincerely, Goliath (and yes, I'm alive and will try to post some again (for those who care...))

03-31-2003, 02:08 PM	#13
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	Hah! I guess this thread is proof of resurrection. For spurly: Here's my summary of the bible, which interestingly parallels yours, but fills in a few gaps and points out a few of the, ah, interesting bits.

03-31-2003, 02:10 PM	#14
banditoloco Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kansas City, Missouri, USA Posts: 61	I would have summed up deutoronomy this way: See leviticus. You left out one of my favorites: Job Job suffers a lot at the hands of God. Job loves God anyways. Moral: We suffer because God gets bored sometimes (he has lots of time to kill, you know) and "God works in mysterious ways."

03-31-2003, 07:05 PM	#16
The Naked Mage Veteran Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: The Execution State, USA Posts: 5,031	"'Use the God' Luke"! Pffffffffffffffffttttttttthhhhsssssspfffffffffffff ffffttt!

04-02-2003, 07:05 PM	#19
winstonjen Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 3,425	Random Places for no good Reason or point: He works in mysterious ways. You can't understand him, but we were special, which is why he dictated his own word to us. Believe and obey it unquestioningly. Oh, and it just APPEARS to be contradictory - read it carefully and interpret it the way we WANT you to, and it makes perfect sense.

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