Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Boro Nut · 02-10-2003, 09:25 AM

A Christian once told me that Jesus was the only one who could dissolve my sins, and was the only true way to wash away the sins of mankind. Do you think this is still true? It may have been in Jesus� time but I can�t imagine 2000 years of R&D hasn�t come up with a better solution by now. There seem to be hundreds of miracle alternatives on offer on satellite TV. Are any of them genuine?

Boro Nut

Has anyone tired acetone?

OCLonghorn · 02-10-2003, 10:45 AM

I had good success with Coca-Cola. I soaked in a tub of it and the original sin came right out!

But then accidentally I swallowed too much and, when it mixed with the box of Pop-Rocks I had just consumed, my stomach exploded.

wordsmyth · 02-10-2003, 10:55 AM

I can alleviate any sin for just $99.95. Visa and Mastercard accepted, but no checks please.

Phanes · 02-10-2003, 12:39 PM

Really? He told you Jesus would dissolve your sins?

Hmm....

Is this Jesus any good for carpet-stains?

Kintaro · 02-12-2003, 07:01 PM

2x post, sorry.

Kintaro · 02-12-2003, 07:01 PM

To dissolve sins, wouldn't oleum work best ? (SO3 in H2SO4)

To forget them, an amnesiac could work, or shock therapy used for non-therapy....

To go beyond them (the sin of drowsiness), Jolt Cola :P

Abacus · 02-12-2003, 07:06 PM

My sins are one of the things that makes life worth living. Why the hell would anybody want to give them up?

See ya later. Gotta go sin.

Jobar · 02-12-2003, 08:07 PM

OK you clowns, off to the circus with you.
Jobar wonders if Jesus contains any petroleum distillates

Strawberry · 02-12-2003, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wordsmyth
I can alleviate any sin for just $99.95. Visa and Mastercard accepted, but no checks please.

I can alleviate my sin all by myself with a $20 vibrator, thanks. But if I get really desparate for a human partner, I'll let you know.

Opera Nut · 02-12-2003, 11:51 PM

You can use H2O2 to wash away the blood of Jeeebus, as well as the accidental menstrual stain or miscarraige. Fizzes a lot but bleaches well. Soak in cold water too.

02-10-2003, 09:25 AM	#1
Boro Nut Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Middlesbrough, England Posts: 3,909	Is Jesus Still the Best Solution? A Christian once told me that Jesus was the only one who could dissolve my sins, and was the only true way to wash away the sins of mankind. Do you think this is still true? It may have been in Jesus� time but I can�t imagine 2000 years of R&D hasn�t come up with a better solution by now. There seem to be hundreds of miracle alternatives on offer on satellite TV. Are any of them genuine? Boro Nut Has anyone tired acetone?

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02-10-2003, 10:45 AM	#2
OCLonghorn Regular Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Dallas,TX Posts: 183	I had good success with Coca-Cola. I soaked in a tub of it and the original sin came right out! But then accidentally I swallowed too much and, when it mixed with the box of Pop-Rocks I had just consumed, my stomach exploded.

02-10-2003, 10:55 AM	#3
wordsmyth Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Des Moines, Ia. U.S.A. Posts: 521	I can alleviate any sin for just $99.95. Visa and Mastercard accepted, but no checks please.

02-10-2003, 12:39 PM	#4
Phanes Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Tallahassee Posts: 127	Really? He told you Jesus would dissolve your sins? Hmm.... Is this Jesus any good for carpet-stains?

02-12-2003, 07:01 PM	#5
Kintaro Regular Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 247	2x post, sorry.

02-12-2003, 07:06 PM	#7
Abacus Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,214	My sins are one of the things that makes life worth living. Why the hell would anybody want to give them up? See ya later. Gotta go sin.

02-12-2003, 08:07 PM	#8
Jobar Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: secularcafe.org Posts: 9,525	OK you clowns, off to the circus with you. Jobar wonders if Jesus contains any petroleum distillates

02-12-2003, 11:51 PM	#10
Opera Nut Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,671	You can use H2O2 to wash away the blood of Jeeebus, as well as the accidental menstrual stain or miscarraige. Fizzes a lot but bleaches well. Soak in cold water too.

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