//riot of disorder::

There is a biblical verse aganist masturbation, right? You may not touch yourself under any circumstances? But what if you get a condition called vascongestion , or "blue balls" for short? The only cure for this is touching yourself until you ejaculate. So does God make exceptions for this situation, or does he command that you must suffer with this easily-treatable condition for the rest of your life?

yguy

I'm not aware of one, and searches for "masturbate" and "masturbation" in the Contemporary English Version of the Bible at studylight.org yielded 0 results.

Roland98

To my knowledge, there isn't one that says that per se, but these usually get lobbed out on another forum when discussing masturbation:

Matthew 5:27-28: The laws of MOses said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say: Anyone who even looks at a woma withlust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Philippians 4:8 "...Whatsoever things are pure... think on these things."

2 Timothy 2:22: Flee also youthful lusts, but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

James 1:13-15
13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

I Corinthians 6:12-20--purity from sexual sins

etc. etc.

Gregg

I believe there's this guy in the Bible called Onan whose brother dies childless. Apparently in those days if your brother died without leaving offspring you were supposed to carry on his seed (in some mysterious fashion) by seeking to get his wife or wives pregnant. However, it seems Onan didn't want to do his duty by his brother and practiced rudimentary birth control by pulling out before ejaculation and "spilling his seed on the ground." This is where the idea that it's immoral to jerk off comes from, I think. People thought that the seed of a new life was contained in the sperm, thus sperm was precious and not to be wasted.

Gregg

Ad Astra

I haven't read the entire thing, but it seems to me that God really likes talking about "discharging" and menstruation.

Gregg

This thread seems like an excellent place for the following:

Every Sperm Is Sacred
Composers: David Howman & Andre Jacquemin
Authors: Michael Palin & Terry Jones
From the Movie 'The Meaning of Life'

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.

NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1:
Mine!

MOURNER #2:
And mine!

CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!