ax

I've been trying to make sense of the desease known as christianity of late (I was a fundy believer up to a week ago). In my attempt to prove the authenticity of the bible I discovered the nature of god and the like, and now I would rather burn in hell than bow to an evil dictator to save my arse!! But the fact is, there's no solid proof for god's existance anyway so..I'm getting of track now, I could be here all day explaining why, but we've heard it all before anyway. What I'm interested in, is how to break the news to my family and friends, some already understand, and believe me, it's great, but some of my fundy friends will no doubt plaster me with "your being irrational!!" etc. So what de conversion stories or advice do you ex-xians have? The last thing I want is for my new begining to cause problems or big arguments etc.One place on the net I've found useful is : <a href="http://www.losingmyreligion.com/" target="_blank">losing my religion</a>. The article section is great!!

Abacus

Wow, Ax! Welcome to the real world!

I was never really a fundy, so I don't have much advice to offer.

In case you haven't seen it before, we have a wonderful thread titled <a href="http://iidb.org/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=55&t=000020" target="_blank">"Atheist's Testimony."</a>

ax

man, so much reading to do. So many stories (all interesting and helpful though!).
I don't feel as dirty now...

Debbie T

Ax, The one thing to do is take your time and take it easy on yourself. If it were me I would put off sharing this with everyone. Perhaps start with those you know will accept you as you are. As you get further away and rid yourself of the brainwashing you will get stronger. A lot of people do have a few problems feeling a bit lost at first. It isn't easy shedding off years of programming. I know because it took me quite a few years to get it out of my system.

This is a good place to express what you are going through and you will find many who will help you through the transition. You will find yourself shedding the blinders and finding a new found freedom. You already are feeling better, I see. But when you hear Christians degrading themselves and others and you yourself no longer feel that way it brings a lot of freedom.

You may go through some anger as you discover the truth and how many lies you were told in religion. You may also feel loss over the time you wasted in the religion. So don't be surprised if you go through a gamut of emotions during the transition. Take care! Deb

Panta Pei

ax ~

My humble advice is not to trade one dogma for another based only on the level of acceptance you receive and, by all means, don't worry about what others think of you.

The value of friends and family is that these relationships are built on unconditional love

In the words of a good Christian friend of mine from this very board ( HelenSL)...

"Don't panic" over the issue of religion.

Life is just so much more than that, imho.

Sincerely,

~ Steve

Viti

Damn ax....no fence sitting for you! From fundy to freethinker in a week must be a new record.

Anyway, you will find support here and several other places, but I wouldn't jump right into shouting it from the rooftops. See how you feel around your family and friends...someone may notice you are not chiming in with amens and hallelujahs or whatever...if so mention you are "going through some soul searching"...see their reaction, then judge how much more you can tell them

Good luck and keep us posted!

ax

Yea, I've learnt my lesson with preaching my good news, almost straight away I sent emails to people containing things like "god is dead" and "I would rather burn for ever!" etc etc, so of course the responses were less than friendly (I guess I did bring them upon myself!!). I'd become a fire and brimstone preacher for the other side!! (actually I became the very thing I hate!! A FUNDAMENTALIST!!!)There's just so many good people caught up in all that bullcrap!! I kinda feel obligated to save christianity from itself right now. I spoke to one of my pastors about my conclusions and he was very understanding but, trouble is, my house backs onto the same block as my (well, not mine anymore..)church, so every sunday I'm bound to have them turning up before church trying to save me (funny, and I thought the elect couldn't fall, guess god doesn't want me). I'd like to see all my xian friends come to know the truth and be free from the chains but I'm not sure how to go about doing it.(and I don't want to be an asshole doing it though!)

DMB

Ax: it's such a big thing for you that of course you want to share it! But I would suggest sharing it with people here, many of whom have gone through this experience already, rather than pushing it straight on everybody you know. In a few weeks' time, you will have got more used to your new situation and will feel more comfortable and calmer. Then you can decide how to approach your xian friends and family. Good luck!

Viti

ax...Panta Pei is right. I have observed that the more convicted and fundamentalist one is as a Christian, the more militant they are as an unbeliever. Maybe its just a personal need to be passionately convicted to something, maybe it's anger at the lies...but really, berating your former brothers and sisters in Christ and beating them over the head with your new version of truth is not the way to go.

Think back to the things that first got you questioning...I'll bet it was something personal not some atheist yelling that you were deluded. By all means answer questions people will have for you, ask them hard questions about their belief and see what happens.

I admit I have been rather hard on a few fundies on this board, but feel they come here to preach not looking for answers etc....IRL it is much harder to look at a friend or relative and say "What, are you stupid?" though I have done this too when pushed too far

Paddy

Ax

The way I chose to deal with my transition into the real world was to slowly break away from "the claws of the fundies".

I live with my uncle (who is a minister, a lecturer, and an apologist), and my two cousins who are all fundies. My approach was to progressively bring up certain 'problems' I had with god and the bible, and debate them with my family, until one day (in no dramatic fashion) I remarked that I found these issues to be irreconcilable with the concept of the biblical god. At this point it came as no surprise to my family, and now my cousins are much more skeptical and we are all able to respect each others beliefs (and at the same time have some kick-ass 'arguments').

Because I took my time in expressing my views, it indicated to my family that I had not come to my conclusions temerariously.
I am now able to be as forthright as I please without offending them (which I take full advantage of ).


Paddy