Carrie

This may be offensive, but I’m going to say it: I can’t stand Christians. And I used to be one. At the time I was really ignorant and I was not using my brain. I was being stupid.

So I feel that all Christians, and all religious people, are ignorant and being stupid too. Especially if they don’t lose their faith after being shown all the things that are wrong with the Bible / Torah / Quran etc., then they are just stupid, stubborn, and chicken.

I have Christian friends, but I’d rather have friends that are not religious. It’s just that I don’t know anyone in person who is Atheist or Agnostic. That’s what you get when you live in a small town in the Midwest - ignorance.

I would rather hang around people that use their brains. If someone is religious, that tells me that they don’t do much thinking. Why be friends with an ignorant person? Seriously, when I meet new people, I’ll probably determine if we’ll be friends or not by what they believe. If they are religious, we won’t have much in common anyway, and we wouldn’t be able to talk about the deepest things. What you believe is who you are, so why would I want to be friends with someone who is silly enough to believe in a mystical daddy in the sky? That’s like an adult who believes in Santa.

So anyway, I have this anger at Christians for being so stupid, and I loathe that they believe such silly things. It makes me want to smack some sense into each Christian I know or meet.

I’m not saying that it’s OK for me to feel this way, but I do. Should I just try to get over it and be friends with Christians anyway? Not like I have much choice in this country anyway, since most people are religious. (Maybe if I move to California or the North East or something. Seems there are a lot of Atheists in Colorado too).

Maybe you can give me some advice. Should I base friendships on what a person believes? Or should I work on developing compassion and understanding for religious people and overlook their ignorance? I just feel insulted by religious people because a lot of them think that you are going to hell if you don’t believe in God. Why should I be friends with people who believe terrible things, and think I’m doomed?

Ensign Steve

Oh, man, at first I thought the title was "expressing anger at Christmas"! I was like, Christmas is like one of the best things to come out of religion! heh

Seriously, as for what you should do, do what you want. You can't pick your family, and you usually can't pick your coworkers, but you can pick your friends. If you don't want to hang around Christians on your off-time, don't! I tell you, I have tons of friends and none of them are religious. I intentionally make friends with people who think like me, because they're the most fun for me to be around. And I guarantee you, there are tons of people who wouldn't want to be my friend just because I'm an atheist. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be someone's friend just because they're Christian.

Selsaral

I can sort of see what you're saying, but I go to great pains not to actually say such things, to avoid being rude. Now that I think about it, I notice all of my close friends are hardcore atheists. That wasn't a conscious decision, but I don't think it is a coincidence either.

I don't think you should use any criteria for 'choosing' your friends, but I wouldn't be surprised if the people you felt comfortable with and connected with happened to be atheists.

Odemus

Most friendships are based on common interests.


Or perhaps you should start with the realization that you are ignorant as well. No one has the answers to all of life's most profound questions.

That says more about you than it does about them. Try not to be concerned what others think about you.

I highly doubt that you are flooded by zealots preaching fire and brimstone. Most religious people are open for discussion about their faith (at least this has been my experience), so you might find the free exchange of ideas stimulating. Or you could make it clear that religion is not a topic you desire to discuss and keep your friendship based on whatever it is you like to do.

Keith

Carrie, aren't there some serious problems with atheism too? I used to be an atheist and I was proud of my "free-thinking" mind. But eventually I realized that I was not so free in my thinking as I had thought.

Take morality, for example. Is it morally wrong to commit rape, or murder? If so, why? Are rape and murder morally wrong because most people say so? It began to seem as though one rather heavy price I was paying for my "freethinking" was that it demanded strict conformity to the crowd. I needed to shut off my mind and dutifully copy the attitudes of the masses.

dangin

I knew quite a few secular folks when I lived in Bloomington. I used to hang out at the Gallery in downtown Normal (I think it is gone now) but that was a muy materialistic environment. I bet either Illinois Wesleyan, or Illinois State has a secular club of some sort. My ex wife is there, but she stopped being an atheist when she left me for a christian who didn't like her being heathen. (she's a chameleon, she changes to be like whatever group she is in)

That huge coffee shop in downtown normal always seemed to be pretty bohemian too. I think you need to look harder. They're there, even if they are few and far between.

Also if you PM marylandnaturegirl who is a member here, she is active in the atheist meet up system on the web, where you can search for atheist meetings in your area.

brighid

Morally speaking I would say you are wrong. A person is more then one defining characteristic, regardless of the negative connotations one might hold about that characteristic(s). Although I do believe you have the right to associate with whomever you choose, I do not believe one is morally justified in disassociating with someone because of the negative and prejudicial notions one holds about a particular group: blacks, gays, Republicans, women, etc.

As much as I disagree with the Christianity as a whole, I do not think it is moral to hold ALL Christians as stupid, ignornant, etc. because one defines himself as a Christian. There are any number of variant ideas within Christianity and not all Christians think alike, except perhaps to say that Jesus is the Savior.

As an atheist I become offended by people who automatically jump to conclusions about my character because they believe atheism to be stupid, ignorant, deliberately rebellious, evil, immoral, etc. I do not think we should extend the same sorts of prejudices against ALL Christians because some express stupid, idiotic or irrational ideas, or even if many of them do. If atheism/non-theism/agnosticism is the superior intellectual path I feel we should act accordingly, without condescension, prejudice, or anger (anger with the institutions of religion yes, but generalizing the individual and directing anger against all - NO!)

Many people who label themselves as Christians haven't thought much about the implications of their faith, and frankly don't care to. The rightness or wrongness of that position is for another discussion. SOME Christians do act horribly, but they, as all people should be judged on the merits of their character and actions alone.


Brighid

dangin

Morality is based on the "social contract" that exists within each social species. That is why assault and murder are "wrong" because you need your society to survive, and antisocial behavior doesn't endear you to your society. Maybe when you were an "atheist" you just needed to think and read about it a little more.

Shadowy Man

Fine, then I will say it. I hate Christmas!!

kkholiday

Carrie, why does this issue make you so angry? It seems like the answer to that is more important than the rightness or wrongness of not wanting to be friends with Christians. I don't even know the religion, if any, of most of my friends. Its not really an issue unless I would want it to be.


Does the fact that some of your current friends are christian affect your relationships with them?