Lady MacDuff

I don't have kids yet, but I remember being a teenager. My parents are non-religious, so when I went through the "everything my parents do is stupid. why can't they be more 'normal'?" phase, it included wanting to go to church. I would ask to sleep over at my friends' houses on Saturdays so I could go to church with them on Sunday and go out for breakfast after. Not that I believed anything, but I just wanted to do what my friends were doing. Needless to say, my friends thought I was crazy, but I did score major points with their parents.

I also remember reading up on and dabbling in "mystical" things, just because I thought it would be cool. This included late-night ouija board sessions (pretty typical for teenagers, I think) and the purchase of a deck of tarot cards that I never learned how to use.

My parents simply rolled their eyes and played along with me. They were very hands-off when it came to religion, and let me and my sister make our own choices. I respect them for that, because I got to explore different things and come to my own conclusions.

I guess when I have kids, I will do the same. Give them a clean slate to start with so they can make their own choices.

bonduca

Anyway, in RL I have a cat. He worships tuna.

Debbie T

My sweet daughter is going on 21 years of age. We went through this scenario ourselves Helen. Although I am not an atheist, nor am I a Christian, I think of myself as a spiritual being. My daughter went through a several different years of wanting to go to church and calling herself a Christian.

For me this was really tough at first. First and foremost is because I grew up in a very abusive Christian home. But I felt I wasn't going to force my beliefs onto my child as I had had a childhood full of religion crammed down my throat. So I let her go to church with friends. When she approached me about it we discussed it. About 17 she finally stopped going, and has told me at various times that she thought Christians were very mixed up. Of course she saw how my family was, and I think that really opened her eyes.

Anyway she did go through the terrible teens and is now becoming that sweet beautiful girl (oops um woman now) she used to be. We all survived!

Bible Humper

Hold on there! Did the kid become a christian before or after meeting these "friends"?

Are these "wacko christian friends" just christian peers, or are we talking about a priest here?

I am well aware and wary of how the priesthood takes advantage of emotional upheaval, the post-9/11 debacles are a good example, so it better not be this type of situation or else yeah, I'll break the contact.

If the teen has somehow come to the conclusion that Yahweh really exists on his/her own by reading, I'll want to hear how this conclusion was reached and point out errors of logic but wouldn't do anything like Tricia's dad.

The Goebbels method is a christian device, naturalism doesn't need to isolate anyone from "taboo information". Punishment is also out of the question, obviously.

wade-w

My parents raised me to think for myself. I went through the same phase as St. Pete, in that I went to church for about 6 weeks with a friend Nazerene, if I recall correctly. I think I was about 10 or 11 at the time. It didn't take very long before I realized it was a crock. I later went through the occult phase as well. I was a buddhist for a few years while in high school, but that didn't last past 17 or so. In all of this, my parents were very supportive, and never tried to judge me or tell me what I should or shouldn't think, and to this day, I am extremely grateful.

I like to think that if I ever hace children, I will have the same wisdom. btw, I have a sister who became an episcopalian, and is now catholic. I do not recall that my parents said or did anything to discourage her, either. Though I seriously doubt they actively encouraged her either. This conversion happened after I had moved out, so I don't know any details.

My point here is that I would try to instill in my children the doctrine: Always Think For Yourself! And yes, if that means you come to a different comnclusion than I did, so be it.

"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has..."
--Martin Luther

Heathen Dawn

I beg to differ. I was born and raised an atheist, yet during my late teens I became a fundamentalist. My parents had educated me on all the standard tenets of atheism, but that didn't stop me from becoming born-again against their will.

(later, of course, I returned to atheism, but mainly because I was fed up of the fundamentalist trip. And even that return to atheism was short and sharp, to be followed by a slide into pantheism and paganism)

Perchance

My parents are in that situation, and they don't seem to care that my sister chose Christianity (well, some form of Christianity... she believes in Jesus but also in reincarnation, at least the last time I talked to her). Both were raised religion (my father Catholic and my mother Methodist), but my father is a firm non-believer, and my mother doesn't seem to care about it one way or the other (and also enjoys religious jokes).

They don't force anything on my sister. In fact, a few times when I've wanted to discuss something with her they've told me to be quiet, because my sister's way of "arguing" is to scream and then run away in tears if someone disagrees with her. However, when my sister said something to my mother about Hell existing, my mother said, "No, it doesn't."

It really seems to depend on the person. If my sister were a little more rational about it, I think that my parents might discuss it with her a little more, or at least allow me to do so. However, the prevailing atmosphere in our house is, and has been for years, one of indifference. I was taken to church a few times, and my parents bought me books on dinosaurs. We were left to choose what we wanted to believe pretty much on our own.

I chose agnosticism. My sister chose theism (as I said, she doesn't seem to be fish or fowl). My brother has never discussed what he believes one way or the other; he seems to follow my mother in not caring, however. My sister's choice doesn't seem to bother or please my parents more than mine does, and I think their restraining me from discussing it with her is more because of her response and because I'm the oldest child and have a "responsibility" than because of what the topic is.

If I were going to have children (an ENTIRELY hypothetical situation, let me assure you), then I would try to raise them so they always knew what they believed and why they believed it. If they chose theism and knew why, I would be content with that. If they chose theism only as a form of rebellion, or becuase of peer pressure, or because of some ill-defined sense that there "has to be a higher power," then I would be skeptical and talk to them about it more, since none of those seem to me to be examples of independent thinking. And this would apply to any kind of theism; having, say, my daughter announce that she became a Christian because she was afraid of Hell, and my son announce that he became a Wiccan because it's cool, would both strike me as being unreasonable.

Certainly, there might be atheist parents who would be very angry. On the other hand, there are some Christian parents who are very angry when their children choose atheism. I don't really understand the decision in some minds to divide people into different "kinds" based on their beliefs. Can their beliefs really tell you how a person will react in every given situation?

-Perchance.

Starboy

Hi Heathen,

Mine is a different story. I also was raised an a-theist. I have never for once considered theism of any kind. My daughters are second generation a-thiests but they are still young, who knows what they may do in the future. This is certain, they are well aware of the frauds of christianity. Perhaps they could be swindled into it but I do not think that is likely. If they do take up theism I doubt it will be Christianity.

Starboy

Kassiana

HelenSL:
What would you do if your teenager became a Christian?

Kass:
Scratch my head and say, "When did I have you, and who was your father, considering I was a virgin till about 5 years ago?"

I know, I know...TMI.

Assuming, however, I was a parent and I did have a child and that child became some form of Christian...as long as we're not talking Fred Phelps/Christian Reconstructionist/"God told me to kill someone" Christians, I would probably say, "Okay. Going to participate in Samhain rituals still?" (listen to answer) "Okay. Your turn to do the dishes."

Doesn't matter to me, as long as my kid doesn't turn out utterly insane religiously. My kid could be a Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, or whatever.

agapeo

Fair enough.