Calzaer

The universe is 36,000 years old. Humans have been around for 18,000 years, and evolved from fleas. Heaven is ~12,000 miles above the earth, and the Grand Canyon was carved by a 10,000 year old man with a giant chisel (with the help of a tiger, a dragon, a unicorn, and a turtle).

Yes, I have become a traditional believer in the Young Earth creation story from Chinese legend! I feel so enlightened! All you atheistic heathens are going to Chinese hell!

(There, I said it. I feel better.)

Duvenoy

Is the Kung Pao Chicken and sweet-sour pork good in Chinese hell?

doov

Calzaer

No, it's absolutely horrible!

And if you're right, there is no Chinese hell, and neither of us have anything to worry about.

But if I'M right, there IS a Chinese hell, and you're going to spend eternity eating undercooked chicken lo mein! Don't take that risk!

(Figured I'd add another dumbass fallacy onto the end while I was at it. )

gcameron

Not Lao Tzu's Wager again...

Conchobar

You don't know how bad it really is. You won't get Chinese food in Chinese Hell. They want you to suffer, belch, and fart almost constantly so they make you eat German food.

Seriously, I don't think the Chinese are cruel or stupid enough to conceive of Hell.

Conchobar

philechat

Thou art wrong. The Chinese Hell has 18 levels and a great variety of punishments to choose from, certainly at least as creative as Dante's Inferno. Wanna try?

Known punishments:
1. Sitting on a mountain full of knives
2. Being changed into animals for the next life
3. Being boiled in a hot oil pot like Kong-Pao chicken
4. Being tied to an ice pond
5. Crossing a 3-inch-wide bridge with a pool of snakes underneath
6. Tied to a bronze column with demons coming by with hot rods
7. Starvation for eternity
And so on...
The only "good" thing is that it probably lasted several hundreds or thousands of years instead of an eternity

Jan Haugland

Ok, I'll bite. What did the turtle do to help make the grand canyon?

(I am also a bit surprised to see an American natural phenomenon mentioned in alleged Chinese mythology, not to mention unicorns which AFAIK are European mythological animal).


- Jan

...who rants and raves every day at Secular Blasphemy

Calzaer

I'm not sure, it just says the turtle "helped", from what I understand.

And the Chinese myth just says "all canyons", which I assume includes the Grand one.

Answerer

The turtle in most chinese legends is a dragon turtle, not a normal turtle and the chinese unicorn is not a horse-with a horn, rather I has the head and scale of a dragon and horse-like bodies. Therefore its not the unicorn in European legends.

johngalt

I want some of the stuff that you're smoking!