Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Wyrdsmyth · 05-01-2003, 04:36 AM

I think this should become the new centerpiece of Judeo-Christian theology, and most of our continuing debates should hinge around it. After all, if you can get us to believe in a talking ass, you should be able to get us to believe in just about anything.

I wonder why I've never heard a sermon focusing on the talking ass... Why gloss over -- or even ignore -- such a wonderful little story in the Bible?

Apikorus · 05-01-2003, 10:21 AM

There's no talking ass in Leviticus. You're probably thinking of the Balaam pericope, which is in Numbers 22-24.

JERDOG · 05-01-2003, 06:52 PM

Yea the first time I heard about a talking donkey in the bible milk came out of my nose. I guess it was some kind of merical.

Felstorm · 05-01-2003, 10:29 PM

Perhaps the talking ass he was referring to was Moses?

I mean anyone that incites people to genocidal fury, must have a little asshole in them, right?

John/nyc · 05-03-2003, 09:20 PM

Does anyone have book, chapter and verse on any and all talking asses?

Secular Pinoy · 05-03-2003, 09:32 PM

Apikorus already said the book, chapter and verse of the Balaam pericope. Here are the relevant verses:

Quote:

Numbers 22:21-30 RSV

21: So Balaam rose in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
22: But God's anger was kindled because he went; and the angel of the LORD took his stand in the way as his adversary. Now he was riding on the ass, and his two servants were with him.
23: And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road, with a drawn sword in his hand; and the ass turned aside out of the road, and went into the field; and Balaam struck the ass, to turn her into the road.
24: Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on either side.
25: And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she pushed against the wall, and pressed Balaam's foot against the wall; so he struck her again.
26: Then the angel of the LORD went ahead, and stood in a narrow place, where there was no way to turn either to the right or to the left.
27: When the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam; and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he struck the ass with his staff.
28: Then the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?"
29: And Balaam said to the ass, "Because you have made sport of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you."
30: And the ass said to Balaam, "Am I not your ass, upon which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Was I ever accustomed to do so to you?" And he said, "No."

Vinnie · 05-04-2003, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wyrdsmyth
I think this should become the new centerpiece of Judeo-Christian theology, and most of our continuing debates should hinge around it. After all, if you can get us to believe in a talking ass, you should be able to get us to believe in just about anything.

I wonder why I've never heard a sermon focusing on the talking ass... Why gloss over -- or even ignore -- such a wonderful little story in the Bible?

A talking ass? Where do I sign up?

Vinnie

Vinnie · 05-04-2003, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Secular Pinoy: Numbers 22:21-30 RSV
snip

I know that I drank way too much tonight but reading that account is funny as hell!! Do people actually believe that is literal history???

Vinie

Secular Pinoy · 05-04-2003, 12:44 AM

I hope not. Then whatever respect I had for christians would nose dive real fast. But most christians I know do not accept that story as historically true.

Vinnie · 05-04-2003, 07:43 AM

Poor ass. It must have hurt getting whacked with that staff!

05-01-2003, 04:36 AM	#1
Wyrdsmyth Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Sarver, PA, USA Posts: 920	The Talking Ass of Leviticus I think this should become the new centerpiece of Judeo-Christian theology, and most of our continuing debates should hinge around it. After all, if you can get us to believe in a talking ass, you should be able to get us to believe in just about anything. I wonder why I've never heard a sermon focusing on the talking ass... Why gloss over -- or even ignore -- such a wonderful little story in the Bible?

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05-01-2003, 10:21 AM	#2
Apikorus Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,396	There's no talking ass in Leviticus. You're probably thinking of the Balaam pericope, which is in Numbers 22-24.

05-01-2003, 06:52 PM	#3
JERDOG Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Lousyana with the best politicians money can buy. Posts: 944	Yea the first time I heard about a talking donkey in the bible milk came out of my nose. I guess it was some kind of merical.

05-01-2003, 10:29 PM	#4
Felstorm Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Minnesota Posts: 49	Perhaps the talking ass he was referring to was Moses? I mean anyone that incites people to genocidal fury, must have a little asshole in them, right?

05-03-2003, 09:20 PM	#5
John/nyc Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: New York City Posts: 10	Does anyone have book, chapter and verse on any and all talking asses?

05-04-2003, 12:44 AM	#9
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	I hope not. Then whatever respect I had for christians would nose dive real fast. But most christians I know do not accept that story as historically true.

05-04-2003, 07:43 AM	#10
Vinnie Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Waterbury, Ct, Usa Posts: 6,523	Poor ass. It must have hurt getting whacked with that staff!

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