Warren Powers

From the Frying Pan
Are there folks available for newsgroup interaction, which have made the decision to drop the active pursuit of a Christian identity because of an indescribable “bind” in your life; in my case, having its’ pursuit of over years.

There is, after all, no "degree" associated with the Christian pursuit to which one may attain having NO EARTHLY ORIGIN yet as real as my toothbrush. Schools and degrees are by their nature man's efforts. The best one could hope is to have a list of degrees from a variety of seminaries, earthbound all. I disregard all of them because I don’t have the time money, strength or inclination to attend all of them to eventually discover that they all have one thing in common, they wish to remain open for business, they wish to continue; that being their essential mission.

I do not regard myself as a novice in this. After spending more than 15 years in this pursuit, I have, from about 1992 to this day, been willing to declare myself basically without an ornery tap root, strong enough to break through the hard pan and get far enough below it to get the strength I suppose I need to make further progress against this "old man" of whom I have since begun to try to come to terms. What a sentence!

There is a verse(s), that I am very likely have taken out of context, which refers to a captain of an army sending out a messenger to ask terms of peace.

That’s where I am more often than not; sending out that message and there rarely seems to be any response from that opposition. In fact, I rarely hear back from that messenger supposing he is evaporated or destroyed by the opposition, my mean and self willed “Old Man”.

It's like trying to come to terms with a wild beast; there is just no way to communicate with it and the only time I get the freedom to express is when that old man is fed and rested and basically asleep. Then I can come through and type this sort of message to the grand universe. My hope is indeed to find a similar soul, conversations via email and even then, few and far between.

I do not think for a second that I am the only one having made this choice. I know that only the blind proceed through life fundamentally dependent on their feelings, but even the sighted experience feelings. This feels like one of the most singular and indeed loneliest choices to ever be made by either of us, me or my “old man”. It feels as if my “old man” has jumped us both out of the frying pan and into?

Kids? No I don’t have kids, so this agony will die with me; I’m not ‘passing it on’ to the next generation. Wife? Sure, she has been my best friend through all this. 20+ years.

I would like to “work” on this but it seems I’m like I say with out an ornery taproot.

Warren