MattofVA

It seems to me from the following and some other webpages that the most effective(in brainwashing their kids) fundy parents resort to spanking early in life to completely disintegrate the child's personality and make them completely authoritarian instead of harsh correction later in life when big rebellion happens. Does this sound like the sort of method that could prevent the sort fundy child rebellion we all know examples of? What do we all think of fundy child-rearing in general? Are the kids mostly rebels eventually, frighteningly docile or are some actually somewhere in between like normal kids? What are the experiences and such with this matter at this forum?
www.wayoflife.org/fbns/correction.htm

fried beef sandwich

First off, I do have an issue with labelling spanking and other unrecommended behavioral modification strategies as "fundy child discipline," mainly because that sort of discipline is prevalent in any number of societies and cultures. People do beat/spank their children, and it's a fairly universal thing, not limited to fundies. There are plenty of non-fundie (and non-xtian) spankers.

That being said, that link you posted is the most completely, utterly twisted thing on childrearing that I have ever read. Like this, for example:

Jeezus.

agnawstick

Oh man is that story sick. The lock and chain isn't working, beat her with a stick that won't easily break.

I do think severe beatings do instill a fundamentalist ethic. I don't believe in spanking, but I do draw a distinction between a few swats, and getting out the rod.

If you live in physical terror of your parents, it is much easier for you to "accept" their doctrine on just about anything. It is like aversion/shock therapy treatment for smoking or what have you.

You start to have doubts about your parents beliefs after a while, and your butt begins to tingle until you let those thoughts go. After a while, it begins to wear off, but you became so set in those beliefs that you pass it on to the next generation.

This author is a sicko. He genuinely believes that God is there with the child as he is getting beaten to a pulp, and that the kid mysteriously finds repentence through the suffering of the pain.

Hey dimwit... ya think the kids might be terrified of their personal safety and they will do anything at all not to be injured anymore even if the parents tell them they must worship the rooster in the back yard and kneel down to it in hommage every day? Where is God then? Freeing their heart to truly worship the rooster?

The worst part is this guy criticizing parents who beat their kids to a pulp a few times, and it doesn't work. He tells them that God instructs them to do it regularly to get the message across, and by giving up on thrashing your kid is wrong, because God would never tell you to do something that wouldn't end up working. So, ya need to beat them more often, and harder until the kids step in line.

I could very easily see a mentally disturbed child of a fundy getting killed this way. What if a kid was schizoid, and didn't respond properly at all? Do ya just beat and beat them til they submit? Man, oh man, these people scare me.

Christian parents must be very wise today in how they carry out Godly correction. I would encourage you to be vigorous and consistent in the application of these procedures in the privacy of your home. I cannot completely tell you the grief I have shared with so many parents who have telephoned me and asked me in tears to somehow help their daughter. They have asked to get their daughter back from the welfare authorities or other bureaucrats. You see, many parents who have educated their child with the rod of correction in order to make them do right have found out in shocked disbelief that even the authorities of our local and state governments are against the implementation of this Godly method of training a child. Countless parents could give you vivid testimony of how various authorities have come to their door and have taken away their children because the parents were observed correcting their child with the rod of correction as God ordered them to do. You must correct your child in the privacy of your home so that the fruit of your training will be so indelibly fixed on the child's heart that you will not have to use the rod of correction in a public setting and expose your family to this very real risk in today's permissive lawless society.

Sick, sick, sick sick puppies.

diana

I agree, fried beef. However, I think a strong case may be made that one of the marks of fundamentalism is this sort of "respect through fear" approach when it comes to child-rearing. To comment that this approach seems fundamentalist doesn't mean those who aren't fundamentalist or Christian don't do it--just that those who are fundamentalist are extremely likely to.

Having said that, I was a fundamentalist child, and all of the friends I was allowed to have were. I wouldn't say it "disintergrates" the child's personality, but from my experience and what I've seen, it has a very strong tendency to leave children either unquestioning slaves or adamant rebels. This style of child-rearing doesn't produce many "middle ground" sorts.

Much like the heaven-hell dichotomy of the religion itself, come to think of it.

And well they should, agnawstick.

My two little brothers were adopted. My mother beat them soundly whenever she thought they fucked up. After a while, she actually put them on a schedule to be spanked, just to save time and effort. And I'm talking a board with holes, a peach tree switch on bare skin, or a very broken in and flexible leather belt, with the power of a fervent beleiver weilding it. She seemed perplexed that they just did more things wrong, the more she beat them. By this point, it was a battle of wills, and goddammit she wasn't going to lose.

They left home at 14 and 16. She said it was just as well because as many spankings as she owed them yet--yes, owed them--they'd be dead before they hit adulthood.

This wasn't said with sadness. It was clearly a mark of her piousness, and her unswerving belief that the Bible's "spare the rod and spoil the child" warning was directly from God Almighty. She was bragging. She thought she was a good mother for it.

Maybe I shouldn't be participating in this discussion at all. I can't possibly be fair.

d

Vylo

Family relationships based upon dominance or coercion are not healthy bonds, expect this child to put some distance from her mother as soon as she can.

I wonder if these same people think it is appropriate to beat their spouses, because that is what they are setting a role model for. Their children may begin to see violence as a good soultion to any problem, especially anyone they have power over. While they may be very obidient to employers, police, or anyone else with authority over them, if they have power over their spouse and children, they may see it as acceptable to beat them when they want to be obeyed, they see it as the way to get what they want, and they feel they are entitled to it.

This is a very disturbing development, stuff like this could set family development back a few decades.