Sunfair

Weird about bringing Cokes over- I was under the impression that Mormons don't partake of caffiene... perhaps we could get a yea or nay on that from any ex-Mormons on the board?

And being in his underwear hiding in the closet? Yeah, something is going on... I would be concerned. "Just friends" these days doesn't always mean that no sex is involved. And sometimes it's just a teenage way of avoiding the whole sex issue with the parents.

It all sounds weird, manipulative, and creepy to me, especially the part about telling the cops lies about her being abused. Major red flags when someone lies to take control of a kid from their folks...

Do you think it's possible that the Mormon parents are shopping for a wife for their son, and he is going along with it to get what he can out of the deal? (Sex, parental approval, a girl/wife under his thumb in fundy-fashion, etc.)

Viti

I think your sister lied to this kid and his parents. And yes, Mormons aren't supposed to drink Cokes, so that may be a form of rebellion on the kid's part like sneaking some booze would be for the rest of us.

I think you have two kids who like each other and want to have sex and rebelling against parents of differing cults. Sounds to me like your sister and her boyfirned are the ones manipulating the grown ups. I did the same thing to a lesser degree and at an earlier age...all teenagers do, again its the degree that differs

King Rat

Bullshit, your preacher is a bald-faced liar. Mormons do a lot of mental manipulation, but would never do something like this.

Mormons are not supposed to drink "strong drinks," there is nothing in the Word of Wisdom about caffeine though. Additionally The Word of Wisdom is not doctrine, it is considered "inspired advice." Whatever that is.

Zora

I know many Mormons, and although I disagree vehemently with their theology, I have never seen evidence that they would stoop to drugs, lying to the police, etc. There may be exceptions.

If they are truly Mormon, they still might drink soft drinks like Coke. Most I know do, though they don't drink coffee. ( I don't understand that rationale.) True Mormom parents would not be happy to learn of their son being found in his girlfriend's closet in his underwear. Sex before marriage is a no-no. And, maybe they believed the stories of abuse and felt they were protecting your sister.

Sounds like two kids rebelling to me. The SS card and birth certificate would be necessary for getting a job, or maybe getting married. 17 years olds often mistake sex for love, no matter what religion they are. Hope it all turns out OK.

Loren Pechtel

Why not figure the simple course: It's about sex and love, not religion or brainwashing!

Hubble head

At first I thought this was a joke so I didn't reply.

Where I come from 17 is actually an adult so if the parents haven't done a good enough job with either young adult by now to make the right decisions then it’s really kind of late for such drastic tactics. Permission for interdenominational bible study? jeezuz.

But being drugged by Mormons sounds sillier than being drugged by Barney the purple Dinosaur. If there is any drug use here, it’s as consensual as the sex but my guess is the drug is the new-found sexual experience.

All in all there is a ridiculous breakdown in communication between all people and both families involved and they all have no one to blame but a culture of seclusion and old fashioned biases. Everybody should kiss and make up before some serious scarring takes place. Allow the 17 year old children to be 17 year old young adults and I think everyone will be surprised at how well they both turn out in the long run.

lunachick

Classic Romeo and Juliet story.

Let's hope the different families and doctrines don't make a complete tragedy of this one.

*~Mandy~*

Sorry to keep adding to the story, it's hard to really put all of the details together, and I keep forgetting parts of it... The boy has only been her friend since April, and she has been dating 3-4 other boys too. Infact, Thursday night, the morning she had "Joe" in her room, she had a date w/ another boy that she was supposed to go on that night. I really do NOT think she really likes this guy all that much. Also, the week before another boy was over at the house when I was there, someone else she is "dating". A few other things I forgot to mention: She failed 2 classes and will have to re-take them next year to graduate and my parents found a notebook with all kinds of strange poems and wierd stuff in it, and another notebook that shows her "sunny side" - the one we all know. The wierd one even had poems that don't make sence, and ones about how she wished the one she loved would stop hurting her The notebook w/ wierd stuff is all new~ It was empty just a few months ago~ she has had it for years and never written in it. The other one she has had for quite a while, and shows it to everyone. Again, it's just so hard to explain the difference, and it sounds almost unbelievable to me... I don't blame you for thinking it was a joke... but it's not

lunachick

I don't think it's a joke at all.

Noone, especially not teenagers, are all sweetness and light. They usually have a darker side that will write what others think is "out-of-character" - crazy poems, weird thoughts, etc, etc.

Maybe she's just on a frustrated goth trip at the moment. And is also horny. She's growing, she's changing; teenage teething.

Overreactions will not serve her well. Doing nothing may not serve her well. It's a fine line.

She may be taking drugs - but unless you know what you're looking for, chances are you won't ever really know for sure - and you must be very careful about aggressive and false accusations. Those are real bad news.

Sounds to me like a fairly typical fundy family - to much concern with communicating with God, not enough skill at effectively communicating with each other.

Don't know if you've ever heard it, but years ago a band called Suicidal Tendencies did a rather manic (and brilliant) song called "Institutionalised". Teen angst stuff. Moody teen who just wants his own damned life (as middle to older teens inevitably will) and his mother keeps hounding him about being on drugs, and he's not - he's just a moody and hormonal teenager with parental communication breakdown.

My best advice would be for you to suggest that your parents and your sister go to some kind of relationship counselling. NON-theist relationship counselling, at that.

Arken

Wow... just... wow... I think your sister getting away from both the mormon family and your parents is probably the best thing. Neither environment sounds very healthy to me. I hope she'll be okay.