Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Debbie T · 04-05-2003, 12:57 AM

Army chaplain offers baptisms, baths

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CAMP BUSHMASTER, Iraq - In this dry desert world near Najaf, where the Army V Corps combat support system sprawls across miles of scabrous dust, there's an oasis of sorts: a 500-gallon pool of pristine, cool water.

It belongs to Army chaplain Josh Llano of Houston, who sees the water shortage, which has kept thousands of filthy soldiers from bathing for weeks, as an opportunity.

''It's simple. They want water. I have it, as long as they agree to get baptized,'' he said.

And agree they do. Every day, soldiers take the plunge for the Lord and come up clean for the first time in weeks.

''They do appear physically and spiritually cleansed,'' Llano said.

First, though, the soldiers have to go to one of Llano's hour-and-a-half sermons in his dirt-floor tent. Then the baptism takes an hour of quoting from the Bible.

There is more (see link above). I just find the charity of Christians to be more like blackmail than charity. So few Christian charity with no strings attached. But it doesn't end there with the baths:

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Earlier this week, word went out that portable showers might be installed here soon, but Llano was undaunted.

''There is no fruit out here, and I have a stash of raisins, juice boxes and fruit rolls to pull out,'' the chaplain said optimistically.

How I wish I could send a ton of fruit to those service guys and give it to them without them knowing where it came from and without them having to jump through hoops to get any goodies.

Rousseau_CHN · 04-05-2003, 05:00 AM

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''They do appear physically and spiritually cleansed,'' Llano said.

What made him say that? If they were truly spiritually cleansed, they would have thrown down their gun and go straight home. They would realize that the Iraqi people are mature enough to forge their destiny. And if they couldn't overthrow tyranny because of fear, they could also not build their own democracy.

No matter how many times you liberate them, they would still, as soon as you leave them, foist another dictatorship.

So please leave them alone to grow (up).

Believing in your fellow human being is the beginning of spiritual cleansing.

So have faith...they too will be free.

Evangelion · 04-05-2003, 10:04 AM

Classic case of an American combining his nation's two great loves: religion and fleecing the punters, er... I mean capitalism.

Yellum Notnef · 04-05-2003, 10:36 AM

Aren't these guys already Christian? Why is this wacko Hell bent on baptizing these guys again?

At first glance I thought this guy was trying to lure the Iraqis into the pool and thought it was funny since none of them would be able to understand one word of the 1 1/2 hour sermon. Now I'm just confused.

Do baptisms need to be recharged every so often to keep a person a Christian?

Evangelion · 04-05-2003, 10:42 AM

FM -

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Aren't these guys already Christian?

Maybe, maybe not. It wouldn't necessarily make any difference, you know.

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Why is this wacko Hell bent on baptizing these guys again?

They may never have been baptised in the first place.

Modern evangelicals don't usually bother.

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At first glance I thought this guy was trying to lure the Iraqis into the pool and thought it was funny since none of them would be able to understand one word of the 1 1/2 hour sermon. Now I'm just confused.

Do baptisms need to be recharged every so often to keep a person a Christian?

Nope. If you're baptised once, you're baptised for life.

However, if you move from one denomination to another, your new denomination may require rebaptism if (a) their doctrines differ significantly from the denomination you've just left, and/or (b) you were never baptised in the first place.

Abacus · 04-05-2003, 10:42 AM

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Originally posted by Fenton Mulley
Aren't these guys already Christian? Why is this wacko Hell bent on baptizing these guys again?

Maybe he doesn't believe that they are True Christians.

Evangelion · 04-05-2003, 10:44 AM

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First, though, the soldiers have to go to one of Llano's hour-and-a-half sermons in his dirt-floor tent. Then the baptism takes an hour of quoting from the Bible.

What a long-winded moron.

My own sermons rarely go over the 40-minute mark, and I've only given two 1-hour sermons in my entire life.

As for the baptism... good grief! An hour of quoting from the Bible?

Just get them wet already!

Treacle Worshipper · 04-05-2003, 10:45 AM

So, do they have to be baptised once a week if they want a wash, or do they get free access to the pool once they've accepted the Lord?

I'd be up there spouting Bible-babble in no time if it was the only way to get clean

TW

Evangelion · 04-05-2003, 10:45 AM

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Maybe he doesn't believe that they are True Christians.

You forgot to add the "TM"...

Evangelion · 04-05-2003, 10:47 AM

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So, do they have to be baptised once a week if they want a wash, or do they get free access to the pool once they've accepted the Lord?

Current evidence suggests that their pool pass is a "once only" deal.

But you could probably swing a re-entry pass if you promised to bring a friend next time...

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04-05-2003, 10:04 AM	#3
Evangelion Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Walsall, UK Posts: 1,490	Classic case of an American combining his nation's two great loves: religion and fleecing the punters, er... I mean capitalism.

04-05-2003, 10:36 AM	#4
Yellum Notnef Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Gone Posts: 4,676	Aren't these guys already Christian? Why is this wacko Hell bent on baptizing these guys again? At first glance I thought this guy was trying to lure the Iraqis into the pool and thought it was funny since none of them would be able to understand one word of the 1 1/2 hour sermon. Now I'm just confused. Do baptisms need to be recharged every so often to keep a person a Christian?

04-05-2003, 10:45 AM	#8
Treacle Worshipper Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Wales, UK Posts: 931	So, do they have to be baptised once a week if they want a wash, or do they get free access to the pool once they've accepted the Lord? I'd be up there spouting Bible-babble in no time if it was the only way to get clean TW

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