Jacobus Altus

From a future Washington Post article --

'Washington, DC - May 12, 2008

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, Director of Americans United for Separation of
Church and State, surrendered to federal officers today at his headquarters
in Washington, DC on charges of blasphemy and subversion. Officials from
the FBI's Department of Religious Reconciliation, Enforcement Division, took
Lynn into custody amid protesting leftist groups, about 30 strong.

Attorney General Ashcroft stated to the press shortly after Lynn's arrest,
"This action by our new Department of Religious Reconciliation is a
watershed in our history as a nation; no longer may groups such as Americans
United subvert the values of the Founders and those of all other
right-thinking citizens. I promise you that this is only the first of many
indictments under the Religious Reconciliation Act of 2007 by our Congress
and President, Jeb Bush. God has mandated that His revival in this Christian
nation be manifested and anointed, and I will pursue the people's will for
reconciliation to the utmost of my authority."

Liberal groups quickly condemned Lynn's arrest on First Amendment grounds,
but they were immediately countered by the Rev. Pat Robertson: "The
Reconciliation Act of 2007 is the will of the people and God; those who
shall transgress do so at their legal and moral peril."

The specifics of Lynn's blasphemy and subversion charges were not disclosed
because of the Reconciliation Act's protection clause for accusers. The
Post has discovered that several 'whistleblowers' in Lynn's subversive
organization provided evidence to the FBI's Religious Enforcement group that
Lynn had made public statements opposing school prayer (blasphemy), and that
he noted several times that the First Amendment must override the wishes of
the majority (subversion).'

Captain Howdy

This is a joke right?

Grumpy

No, it's an actual Washington Post article from the year 2008.


The key to its facetious nature: How likely is it that Jeb Bush would be elected president next year?

Nikolai

Nope, not at all :boohoo:

Jacobus Altus

Also, I thought my quip about 'right-thinking citizens' was a good pun and clue to the nature of the parody.

Jacobus Altus

Defiant Heretic

Exactly. I mean, what are the odds that GWB will leave office when he loses the election again?

simian

GWB was found guilty of consorting with agents of the devil (Muslims, Hindus, and Jews, among others). He was stripped of his office and executed for UnChristian behavior. His final act was to invoke the Devine Right of Kings and other Leaders (which he created and signed in 2006) to name his brother, also of his devine lineage to succeed him in office.

Simian

Jacobus Altus

Hmm ... Well, by the way you put it, I conclude that the probability of GWB leaving office after being defeated in the next US election is 100%.

If GWB fails to yield his office after a defeat in the presidential election of 2004, that will comprise the first coup in our history.

Or, did you mean to imply something else?

Best, Jacobus Altus

Toto

He meant to imply that it would be the second coup in American history, the first being the 2000 election decided by the Supreme Court.

ElectEngr

Dosen't the Department of Religious Reconciliation, Enforcement Division fall under the Department of Homeland Security

Later,
ElectEngr

[edit to add: I thought A$$croft is VP in 2008. _Hummer_ wanted him for VP in 2000, but thought he would win re-election and needed him more in the Senate to get his court nominees through.]