Friar Bellows

Beware: some level of calculus required!

The exponential function is walking about town and meets up with his friend, the constant function:

const.: What the hell are you doing here?
exp.: I'm out for a walk.
const.: Let's get out of here!
exp.: Why?
const.: Don't you know that the differential operator is about? He'll eliminate us if we meet him!
exp.: Ah! Not me. I'm e^x.

The constant function runs away leaving the exponential function quite alone. A short while later, the differential operator shows up.

exp.: Hi there.
diff op.: Hello.
exp.: I'm e^x.
diff op.: I'm d/dy.
exp.:
diff op.:

RufusAtticus

I found it funny.

Abacus

Very good! <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

repoman

I thought of one,

Constant: oh no! there's differential operator outside, I can't leave now!

e^x : Don't worry kid, stay by my side and you won't be touched.

repoman

I think a more accurate take on the first joke is that e^x and the constant(maybe) know that the constant will be "killed" if it hits the operator alone. Therefore, e^x would have thrown the const to death by the op.

The joke would be the irony that e^x didn't realize it was a y-operator, murdered by his own devices!

repoman

Can any of you guys take that last suggestion and write a good joke?

John Page

......not so fast" shouted Captain Zeno as he Cantored in on his Alepholump. He snatched e^x in the nick of time and rode off into infinity."

THE END

(well, nearly....)

Coragyps

And this thread is in Science and Skepticism because we are very skeptical that mathematics can be forced to provide us with humor?

Friar Bellows

A sprinkling of math humour:

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.

"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all Scottish sheep are black!"

To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"

The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

*************

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.
The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."

The fire chief takes the mathematician to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire."

The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?"
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on fire."
The chief yells, "What? That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I've already solved."

************

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer,
You take one down, and pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.

************

A group of mathematicians and a group of engineers were taking a train to attend a joint conference. Each of the mathematicians had a ticket, but only one of the engineers did. The mathematicians were snickering about this when one of the engineers retured to the car and shouted, "Conductor's coming!"

All of the engineers hurried back and crammed into a restroom, and when the conductor came by, he knocked on the door and said, "Ticket please." The engineer with the ticket passed it under the door, and the conductor punched it and returned it. After the conductor left, all the engineers came piling out, and the mathematicians sat there in amazement.

On the return trip the mathematicians decided to do the same thing, so they only purchased one ticket amonst them. This time, none of the engineers had a ticket. The mathematicians were
snickering again, when an engineer ran in the car and said "Conductor's coming." All of the mathematicians piled into one restroom and all of the engineers into another. The last engineer
in knocked on the restroom of mathematicians and said, "Ticket, please." He then took the ticket and joined the rest of the engineers.

*************

Biologists think they're biochemists.
Biochemists think they're chemists.
Chemists think they're physical chemists.
Physical Chemists think they're physicists.
Physicists think they're God.
God thinks he's a mathematician.

John Page

But the numbers became irrational of their own free will.