JonathanChance

Linky:

http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0014858.html

JonathanChance

http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0014855.html

http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0002105.html

This link is especailly shocking:
http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0005404.html

http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0014857.html

Talulah

Interestingly enough, something comforting I remember from my childhood is sitting at my grandmother’s house and reading James Dobson books. My grandmother is a firm believer in his methods and owns all of his books on child rearing. Unlike my mother, who resented me reading instead of being her constant sidekick, my grandmother encouraged me, and when I went to her house, I was allowed to pull books at random off her shelves and read. I spent many a holiday in my youth curled up with Dr. James Dobson, trying to learn the ‘right’ way to raise children.

The reason I was so interested in him, was because he advocated a form of corporal punishment totally different from my parent’s style. Thought I really believed corporal punishment to be wrong, I respected him because he advocated love and restraint in discipline, two things my parents obviously didn’t think was important. He also believes that children shouldn’t be spanked after around age 10, which made him look really good to me as a teenager. Though now he seems to be just another fundy advocating corporal punishment, when I was a kid I took a great deal of comfort in the fact that people actually thought about these things and that all Christians didn’t advocate beating their children and yanking them around by the arms. As a side note, Dr. Dobson was considered a ‘liberal’ by my parents and my grandmother and of course, ‘isn’t a member of the church so you can’t really trust everything he says.’ [/soft southern female voice]

On to my rebuttal of his advice:

Does this sound to anyone very reminiscent of dog training?

Cue Talulah’s Dad: ‘It bothers me that he jumps and then shakes like that when I talk to him, people will think we beat him.’ Interesting observation Dad, you should really go with that!

I find if appalling how he is so careful to advise against ‘permanent damage.’ As if decent parents would have to be told.

How very enlightened. Let’s be sure to put this on your resume.

Again, less likely! The possibility alone should be enough to tell people that there is something very wrong it.

Also, I have always found his attitude about a crying child (after you have physically disciplined him/her no less) to be disturbing. One thing that strikes me is that many people seem to think that children are perpetually manipulative. Please, they are just kids.

The Other Michael

Hi Talulah,

Internal injuries are probably best, as they reduce the likelihood of a visit from Child Protective Services.

Hi JonathanChance,

Thanks for starting a discussion . Generally we'd like to see some of your thoughts too, and not just the links. If you feel interested enough to start the discussion, you've probably also got some opinion about the topic. Stating that opinion in your original post can help to get the ball rolling, and also gives you a chance to get the discussion pointed in a direction that you find most interesting.

cheers,
Michael
MF&P Moderator (Maximus)

Jamie_L

My 3-year old attempts to "discipline" my 1-year-old in the same way I discipline her. I've seen this. She patterns her behavior after mine and my wife's.

There's a catch, however. At her age, my 3-year-old still doesn't fully grasp such things like "right" and "wrong". She has a much better understanding of "what mommy and daddy don't want me to do." So, she tends to try to "discipline" my 1-year-old son when he does something she doesn't want him to do - like play with something she suddenly decides she wants.

Where does this lead? Well, it leads to a realization that if I was physically disciplining my children, my 3-year-old would be much more likely to hit my son when he was doing something she didn't like. I.E., I have evidence that (in my family, anyway) physical discipline could lead to my children learning that violence is an apprpriate method for getting what you want.

I never wanted to use physical discipline much to begin with, but after making this realization, I shun it as much as possible.

Jamie

Ab_Normal

LOL! My daughter did the same thing when she was the same age - but since she didn't have a younger sibling to pick on, she'd do it to her toys. (She tried it on the cat, but the cat wouldn't sit still for it.) Watching her really made me think about how we were disciplining her.

*Sigh* She's nine now. Nine is good. I really like nine. Too bad the teenage years are just around the corner...

MattR

If you think Dobsons links are disgusting see this one.

http://www.patriarch.com/spanking.html

openeyes

I think spanking should be avoided when disciplining your kids. (I have two by the way. They did get spanked once or twice, but it was more out of frustration on my part than reasonable parenting.)

Since I've been on this board there's been at least two threads concerning spanking, and frankly, I was surprised at how many people thought it had its place.

Totalitarianist

As "shocking" as it might sound, he is generally correct.

Talulah

Well, I'm not really 'shocked' that you think so.