Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Nowhere357 · 07-04-2003, 03:40 PM

First, lets hear from the prosecution witnesses - starting with the 100 billion souls in Hell!

Family Man · 07-04-2003, 06:41 PM

For the first witnesses, the prosecution ought to call Adam and Eve. They can testify to the deception perpetrated on them by the snake God planted in the garden, and of God's over-the-top reaction over the mere eating of an apple.

Nowhere357 · 07-04-2003, 08:12 PM

<The spectators and participants draw back in fear, as BEEZLEBUB strides into the courtroom. Taking a seat in the witness chariot, the Beast glares directly at the judge...>

BEEZLEBUB: I am the source of all Evil in your world! The defendant is INNOCENT! You have the wrong supernatural entity on trial here!

Quote:

If it please the court, I propose that if found guilty, Yahweh resurrects all the innocents he slaughtered through the ages.

BEEZLEBUB: I'll be damned first! A cold day in Hell! Those souls belong to me now! God has no power over my Kingdom (haven't you "omnipotent God" fans figured that out yet?) and neither do you!

<The Devil disappears in flash of mystical flames and sulfurus clouds as the jury sits in stunned silence...>

Motion to Dismiss filed, based on the confession of the actual criminal.

NonHomogenized · 07-05-2003, 04:49 PM

Objection. Confessor is creation of defendant. All responsibility for his actions is, by definition, on the shoulders of the omni-max being which created him. I move that his testimony be placed on the record, as testimony against the defendant.

winstonjen · 07-05-2003, 08:18 PM

The defendant has informed me that he would like to be represented by OJ Simpson's lawyer, in conjunction with Magus55 and the Iraqi Information Minister.

Family Man · 07-06-2003, 09:10 AM

The Iraqi Information Minister politely declines the post, on the grounds that there are some positions that are too absurd for even him to defend.

winstonjen · 07-06-2003, 10:27 PM

This might make interesting debate material for the debate forum. I'd like to see any theist arguments.

Also interesting is why Magus and Esther have not posted in this thread.

EstherRose · 07-07-2003, 12:43 AM

I only just read it. Kinda have to read a thread before I can post on it. Or do you think I have nothing better to do than sit around and wait for a new thread to read?

Quote:

The "courts of Humanity" have no jurisdiction to try the named defendant.

Using humanity to judge God?

A kangaroo court and a clear mockery.

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.

winstonjen · 07-07-2003, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by EstherRose
Using humanity to judge God?

A kangaroo court and a clear mockery.

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.

Sorry, didn't realise you didn't read the thread yet. Anyway, these statements seem to state that no one can judge god because he is above his own law.

But didn't you judge him and his character (and his reputed ability to punish) when you chose to worship him?

Back to the trial - without a lawyer for the defendant, I propose that the prosecution wins by default.

Ronin · 07-07-2003, 12:51 AM

Quote:

It would be pointless for me to post anything else here.

Pointless only due to the blatant fact that no one can reconcile the common notion of love and kindness with the representation of the Abrahamic deity(s).

Hardly any christian I've known has even tried, EstherRose...your avoidance of the issue speaks volumes.

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07-04-2003, 03:40 PM	#41
Nowhere357 Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Grand Junction CO Posts: 2,231	First, lets hear from the prosecution witnesses - starting with the 100 billion souls in Hell!

07-04-2003, 06:41 PM	#42
Family Man Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Superior, CO USA Posts: 1,553	For the first witnesses, the prosecution ought to call Adam and Eve. They can testify to the deception perpetrated on them by the snake God planted in the garden, and of God's over-the-top reaction over the mere eating of an apple.

07-05-2003, 04:49 PM	#44
NonHomogenized Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: no longer at IIDB Posts: 1,644	Objection. Confessor is creation of defendant. All responsibility for his actions is, by definition, on the shoulders of the omni-max being which created him. I move that his testimony be placed on the record, as testimony against the defendant.

07-05-2003, 08:18 PM	#45
winstonjen Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 3,425	The defendant has informed me that he would like to be represented by OJ Simpson's lawyer, in conjunction with Magus55 and the Iraqi Information Minister.

07-06-2003, 09:10 AM	#46
Family Man Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Superior, CO USA Posts: 1,553	The Iraqi Information Minister politely declines the post, on the grounds that there are some positions that are too absurd for even him to defend.

07-06-2003, 10:27 PM	#47
winstonjen Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 3,425	This might make interesting debate material for the debate forum. I'd like to see any theist arguments. Also interesting is why Magus and Esther have not posted in this thread.

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