Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Secular Pinoy · 05-24-2003, 04:06 AM

Conservative christians usually frown upon deviant sexual behavior and acts. Thy prefer the act of love-making o be simple and plain, missionary position as it were. But they must have failed to take Jesus' own aphorism concerning oral sex. In the Gospel of Matthew 15:10-11:

Quote:

Matthew 15:10-11 (NRSV)
10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, "Listen and understand:
11 it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles."

Note: Parallel verses are to be found in the Gospel of Mark 7:14-15 and the Gospel of Thomas 14:1

So there is nothing that a person may put in his mouth (presumably, this includes the male or femal genitalia) that would render him/her unclean. Rather it is what comes out of one's mouth that does. Jesus no doubt meant that if one were to perform fellatio, that he/she ought not spill the ejaculation,as Onan had done in a story found in Genesis 38:8-10:

Quote:

Genesis 38:8-10 (RSV)
8 Then Judah said to Onan, "Go in to your brother's wife, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother."
9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife he spilled the semen on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother.
10 And what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and he slew him also.

It is a universal truth that God reveres human ejaculates. Even contemporary hymnists Michael Palin and Terry Jones wrote,

Quote:

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

So, it is not so much the act of oral sex that offends God, but of the distinct possibility that such an act may lead to the needless spilling of ejaculates. So, the conservative christian position on oral sex is misguided. They have wrongly discouraged an intimate act that Jesus himself did not discourage, and in so doing, the conservative forgot the true issue at stake in oral sex, the spilling of the hallowed wild oats. And this, finally, leads us to a proper answer to the common atheist question: Jesus is coming, do you spit or swallow? Swallow we definitely must!

Ronin · 05-24-2003, 04:35 AM

Hey...let us not forgetteth The Song of Solomon...for, verily, it doth rock ~

2:1
I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.

2:2
As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.

2:3
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

2:4
He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

Yea...that banner doth yearn for thine lily...big ups.

lunachick · 05-24-2003, 05:29 AM

LOL!

Sounds like she has to swallow, too.

I would have thought that "what comes out of the mouth" would relate to what you speak? Or are you being facetious and I'm just being gullible?

Secular Pinoy · 05-24-2003, 06:13 AM

Lunachick, that is nothing more than a later Christian rationalizing of what the original Historical Jesus had intended. Known by scholars to be a sage of wisdom, Jesus used ahorisms to proclaim the Kingdom of God, which Jesus understands to be an endless party, where his kind of crowd (prostitutes, toll collectors, social outcasts and nudists) would have an eternal soiree, and wine would flow ceaselessly, it being miraculously converted from water. That gives us a whole new perspective on the "Man of the Spirit."

Ronin, " I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste" gives further support for my exegesis on the true biblical view on sexual pleasure. Of course, I would use a more "scholarly" version of the bible to quote from. The KJV is for those fundy country hicks.

Yes, I'm being facetious.

Secular Pinoy · 05-24-2003, 06:17 AM

Gasp! Demoted to ~~Elsewhere~~! I can't believe it! Why I'd never...

lunachick · 05-24-2003, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Secular Pinoy
Lunachick, that is nothing more than a later Christian rationalizing of what the original Historical Jesus had intended. Known by scholars to be a sage of wisdom, Jesus used ahorisms to proclaim the Kingdom of God, which Jesus understands to be an endless party, where his kind of crowd (prostitutes, toll collectors, social outcasts and nudists) would have an eternal soiree, and wine would flow ceaselessly, it being miraculously converted from water. That gives us a whole new perspective on the "Man of the Spirit."

That's where I want to be! Perhaps I am a Christian, after all.

Quote:

Yes, I'm being facetious.

Well, in that case, I had it coming.

Secular Pinoy · 05-24-2003, 06:22 AM

Of course you are, with all that talk of hut tubs and....

lunachick · 05-24-2003, 06:33 AM

Hut tubs???

Are typing single-handedly again?

Secular Pinoy · 05-24-2003, 06:37 AM

Hehehe. A good observation, but no. I type with my feet! And that's not the only thing they're good for.

So, would you care for some Asian action, now?

lunachick · 05-24-2003, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Secular Pinoy
Hehehe. A good observation, but no. I type with my feet! And that's not the only thing they're good for.

So, would you care for some Asian action, now?

Sure. It appears you got skills.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

05-24-2003, 04:35 AM	#2
Ronin Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Mississippi Posts: 5,047	Hey...let us not forgetteth The Song of Solomon...for, verily, it doth rock ~ 2:1 I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. 2:2 As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. 2:3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Yea...that banner doth yearn for thine lily...big ups.

05-24-2003, 05:29 AM	#3
lunachick Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: NZ Posts: 7,895	LOL! Sounds like she has to swallow, too. I would have thought that "what comes out of the mouth" would relate to what you speak? Or are you being facetious and I'm just being gullible?

05-24-2003, 06:13 AM	#4
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	Lunachick, that is nothing more than a later Christian rationalizing of what the original Historical Jesus had intended. Known by scholars to be a sage of wisdom, Jesus used ahorisms to proclaim the Kingdom of God, which Jesus understands to be an endless party, where his kind of crowd (prostitutes, toll collectors, social outcasts and nudists) would have an eternal soiree, and wine would flow ceaselessly, it being miraculously converted from water. That gives us a whole new perspective on the "Man of the Spirit." Ronin, " I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste" gives further support for my exegesis on the true biblical view on sexual pleasure. Of course, I would use a more "scholarly" version of the bible to quote from. The KJV is for those fundy country hicks. Yes, I'm being facetious.

05-24-2003, 06:17 AM	#5
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	Gasp! Demoted to ~~Elsewhere~~! I can't believe it! Why I'd never...

05-24-2003, 06:22 AM	#7
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	Of course you are, with all that talk of hut tubs and....

05-24-2003, 06:33 AM	#8
lunachick Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: NZ Posts: 7,895	Hut tubs??? Are typing single-handedly again?

05-24-2003, 06:37 AM	#9
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	Hehehe. A good observation, but no. I type with my feet! And that's not the only thing they're good for. So, would you care for some Asian action, now?

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.