Freethought & Rationalism Archive

HelenM · 06-15-2002, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dangin:
Even the five minutes I saw of her set off alarm bells in me

I know I've been wrong about people that I've seen much more than five minutes of, so I would hesitate to judge someone based on that, especially when it is right after they've been through some extremely traumatic events and huge loss.

But I didn't see what you saw, otoh.

And I'm not trying to pick a fight and I don't want to be sarcastic about it

love
Helen

seebs · 06-15-2002, 08:04 AM

It also wouldn't surprise me if she accepted her death, and her husband's, months and months ago... in which case, she may have every reason to be happy.

ksagnostic · 06-15-2002, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dangin:
marco,

Are you actually suggesting that there is nothing strange in her behavior? I'm not claiming to be an authority on grieving, but I think between 6 and 18 months is what experts consider the normal time for depression, sadness, and emotional stability to be controlled after the loss of a spouse. Clearly 72 hours is an extremely miniscule timespan to behave in a jubilent after the violent death of a spouse of 18 years.

I have stated over and over that smiling, waving, hugging, expressing gladness at being home would be nothing to raise an eyebrow over. But the woman looks like she just won a car on the Price is Right.

It's interesting that you think I am so out of line for expressing that she is acting in a strange fashion so soon after the death of a spouse. Would you attack me if I was a member of her church and was worried about denial and her burying her emotions if she was constantly acting this way. It is also interesting that I think most reasonable people would agree that 72 hours is too short a time to complete grieving, but you seem to think that being married for 18 years and having your spouse killed is something someone can forget and get over in the course of an extended weekend.

[ June 14, 2002: Message edited by: dangin ]

I'm sorry Dangin, but I have to comment on this (I know you wanted this to die). I see absolutely nothing strange in this woman's behavior.

1) When you talk about this woman losing her husband, you seem to forget this is also a woman who had not seen other family and friends for over a year while she lived in miserable conditions at gunpoint. The footage from KCI included this woman seeing people (including her children) that she hadn't seen in over a year, and on the verge of returning to a home she hadn't seen in over a year. Grief over the loss of her husband is normal, but so is joy over a reunion with other members of her family she herself never expected to see again. Grief is by no means a simple process. And in this situation, there is the added complication of the loss of the husband coinciding with the end of an ordeal.

2) Speaking from my recent experience, grief is unavoidable, but most of the time it's just there, and is overlayed with other emotions. And this is under the not so extreme circumstances that Gracia Burnham went through.

[ June 15, 2002: Message edited by: ksagnostic ]

MarcoPolo · 06-15-2002, 03:09 PM

[quote]Originally posted by dangin:

Quote:

[/b]Marco, I'm going to let this die, because clearly we won't agree.[/b]

Clearly.

Quote:

Even the five minutes I saw of her set off alarm bells in me, sorry I shared what I and others who saw the footage thought.

5 minutes!!! Holy cow. Now I know why you want to let it drop. If you're able to determine a persons mental stability in a mere 5 minutes, I'm way out of my league. (oops... I guess the sarcasm took over again!)

Quote:

And I didn't know that asking a question was building a strawman, but if you say it is, it must be.

I didn't know that either? Can you show me where I did that?

Oh wait... that must have been the type of sarcasm that IS allowed. I'm still learning.

MarcoPolo · 06-15-2002, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HelenSL:
I haven't seen evidence here that 'regulars' are treated any differently than occasional posters.

Oh boy. I see I'm going to have to pull up some evidence. That shouldn't take too long though. I'll be back with some before the weekend is out.

Quote:

It's quite possible that moderators miss some instances of incivility; maybe that's what you are thinking.

Oops! There's the way out! Once I find something, that's just going to be one of the things they 'miss.'

Quote:

Just e-mail them if you see some that hasn't been commented on or deleted.

Here's the thing. I don't have a problem with the sarcasm and rudeness. It's the double standard. When I get pointed at for being sarcastic and someone else doesn't, that's being partial.

Quote:

If they ignore what you say then you'll actually have evidence of partiality. If not, then I assume you're simply speculating that there's partiality.

This is a good example of a strawman.

I don't care to report anything. I don't care that people are sarcastic. What I care about is the fact that my posts were singled out by Bree simply because they were sarcastic and rude when I see sarcasm and rudeness all over this board that goes unnoticed. (If you need some 'evidence,' surf over to the Evolution/Creation board. It happens regularly there.)

I'm debating whether showing any examples is worth it. Is it?

Secular Pinoy · 06-16-2002, 04:35 AM

Man, you're pathetic. Get a life.

MarcoPolo · 06-16-2002, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Great Dalmuti:
Man, you're pathetic. Get a life.

Example 1.

Bree · 06-16-2002, 05:33 PM

Well, considering the fact you went on and on through TWO different threads formulating attacks on someone else's opinion just because it differed from yours...nevermind.

If you have a problem with the way I moderate (or with anyone who moderates) please send an email to us personally, or post in the <a href="http://iidb.org/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=forum&f=7" target="_blank">Complaints</a> forum.

For the record, your post count has nothing to do with how you are treated - you are treated according to how you present yourself to others.

MarcoPolo · 06-16-2002, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bree:
Well, considering the fact you went on and on...

On and on? What defines 'on and on?' Two posts? Three? There have only been a handful of threads I've responded to more than once or twice.

Quote:

...through TWO different threads...

References? What threads did I do this in?

Quote:

...formulating attacks on someone else's opinion just because it differed from yours...nevermind.

Why would I attack someone's opinion if I agreed with it? You did a great job of stating the obvious there. Yes, I reply to opinions that I disagree with, that's what we're here to do. I wouldn't call my posts 'attacks' though. Show me once where I treated someone differently than how they've treated others.

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06-15-2002, 08:04 AM	#62
seebs Contributor Join Date: May 2002 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 24,524	It also wouldn't surprise me if she accepted her death, and her husband's, months and months ago... in which case, she may have every reason to be happy.

06-16-2002, 04:35 AM	#66
Secular Pinoy Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Quezon City, Philippines Posts: 1,994	Man, you're pathetic. Get a life.

06-16-2002, 05:33 PM	#68
Bree Veteran Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Twin Cities, USA Posts: 3,197	Well, considering the fact you went on and on through TWO different threads formulating attacks on someone else's opinion just because it differed from yours...nevermind. If you have a problem with the way I moderate (or with anyone who moderates) please send an email to us personally, or post in the <a href="http://iidb.org/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=forum&f=7" target="_blank">Complaints</a> forum. For the record, your post count has nothing to do with how you are treated - you are treated according to how you present yourself to others.

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