ProNihil

For some time now, I have considered myself to be an atheist. I have read and studied quite a bit of information on the arguements for and against the existence of a deity, the Christian one in particular. I have tried to model myself after those who have demonstrated those attributes, such as an iron will and light spirit, that everyone aspires to.

One of my favorite authors is Carl Sagan. I like the way he was able to look at the world he lived in with a sense of wonder and potential. It was almost as though he was able to stand beneath the infinite and say, "I do not fear, come what may!"

I have a dillema though. Unlike Carl Sagan, I cannot take my finite existence into account and say that I am not frightened. Perhaps this is some remnant of my previous life in Christianity, come to haunt the newfound freedom I have in objective thought. My mind tells me that this is some kind of natural psychology at work within me; that I have evolved to look toward the heavens and see the divine. I suppose that if one were to take into account the given ethical predispositions that most of us possess, that it would not be a far reach to posit that they come from a naturalistic urge to protect the species as a whole. I really don't know.

All I can do is look back on my life, and see that the time I was least fearful was when I actively subscribed to a fairy tale. I knew then that I was O.K. no matter what happened. I knew that even though I messed up sometimes, there was still at least one Being that would always have my best interests at heart. I tell you guys, this atheism can sure be lonely.

The Other Michael

Don't be scared, be annoyed!

What irks me about death (if we avoid discussing all the messy painful stuff that often surrounds it) is that it will stop me from doing all the stuff that I want to do.

Granted, once I die it seems pretty unlikely that I'll be concerned about it at all, but right now I've got a lot of stuff on my "to do" list" and I want to get a chance to do it.

cheers,
Michael

Arken

Prioritize, Michael! Prioritize!

Elvithriel

We will probably have this whole death thing fixed in the next 20-30 years.

Virgil Tibbs

You'll pardon me for being glib, but I think dying is a lot less scary than the thought of living forever.

Think about it... the universe could potentially exist for hundreds of trillions of years. Do you have any idea how mind numbling bored you'd get? Even "heaven" couldn't have enough variety of experience to keep you interested that long.

Even worse, what would you do after the universe ends? Your "soul" could become stuck in some meta-physical sensory deprivation tank. What would you do there?

sings: :boohoo:

...Nine hundred quintillion, four hundred thirty-three quardillion, eigh hundred twenty trillion, one hundred two billion, forty-eight million, two hundred seventy-eight thousand, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred quintillion, four hundred thirty-three quardillion, eigh hundred twenty trillion, one hundred two billion, forty-eight million, two hundred seventy-eight thousand, ninety-nine bottles of beer...

You take one down, you pass it around...

Nine hundred quintillion, four hundred thirty-three quardillion, eigh hundred twenty trillion, one hundred two billion, forty-eight million, two hundred seventy-eight thousand, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!

:banghead:

Tibbs

Bunny Lover

Hello,

Don't worry. As far as you know, you'll always exist.

Ronin

While I am here, I'm going to laugh at the odds and live my life as a daring adventure, through both joy and tragedy...at the end of each day I will sleep and, while doing so, not be the least bit worried about it.

So it will be at death...though the transition will be briefly troublesome ~ I've seen enough of it to know that the stars will still shine long after all of my intentions fade.

lunachick

There's pathos in that statement. A beauty that surpasses each of us.

Jobar

Before drinking hemlock, Socrates expounded on what he thought death to be. He felt that most likely, it was simple extinction- and he pointed out that we all have the experience of that, every time we sleep. And we consider a sound sleep to be a *good* thing- people complain when they cannot. As Hamlet said, "To sleep- to sleep, perchance to dream."

Aside from the possible pain beforehand, and the worry for the ones I may leave behind, I don't fear death. Even stars and galaxies flash and flicker and fade. When my time comes, I won't smile- but neither shall I scream and fight.

fried beef sandwich

ProNihil,

I don't know what your exact situation is, but I have to admit that, at times, I have felt pretty much the same way as you described. You speculated that your fears are "some remnant of my previous life in Christianity, come to haunt the newfound freedom I have in objective thought." I would tend to agree, if only because it seems to match up well with my own personal experience.

Like you, the thought of my human limitations and finitude frightened me. I was terrified! I had believed for years that I was nothing without God's strength, purpose, guidance, etc. When the day came that I was finally without God, I freaked out. I had a hard time feeling confident in making important decisions without prayer and scripture; I had a hard time feeling that my life meant anything without a God in the background telling me that I was doing his will, i.e., what was really important in this current life.

Eventually I began to realize that because of my lifelong conditioning, I was practically incapable of adjusting to a godless paradigm. Thus, the whole problem of human finitude, existential meaning, and fear was merely a manifestation of the discomfort I felt at having the carpet yanked out from underneath my feet. Once I realized that, it was easier for me to adapt and (begin to) thrive in my god-free life.

Converting to atheism is much more than just changing your mind about something; it's pretty much demolishing your old beliefs and starting over from square one. Standing in the middle of the rubble, looking at all the itty bitty pieces of concrete and rebar is pretty intimidating. And let's face it: it is so much easier to destroy bad beliefs than it is to build up good ones.

Without the assurance of a God's guidance and a support network you get from familiar places like family and/or church, yes, atheism can definitely be a pretty lonely place to be, especially if you're starting out, and even years down the road. Yeah, it's pretty scary, especially since you don't really know that things will be "all right in the end" or who really has your best interests in mind. But that's what makes friendships and relationships so much more precious to us now. If you even have one good friend, you're already ahead of most of the world.

So yeah, I hope this cheers you up a bit. Don't let the fear get to you, and enjoy the present!