eldar1011

Actually, they aren't really my friends.

We just completed our childbirth classes. The instructor is a devout Catholic. At the end of the class, she offered some pamphlets. She stated that these were not class material and strictly voluntary. The pamphlets dealt with "Natural Family Planning", which is basically an anti-birth control method.

I took one simply because I have a voracious reading appetite. But, I respected how she presented the material. Here is someone who believes very strongly in her religion. Yet, she had an open mind and a healthy dose of skepticism when it came to medical intervention in childbirth.

Sometimes I fear that being exposed to those theists who rant and rave here and especially at alt.atheism, I tend to develop some prejudicial attitudes towards theists. It was refreshing to see that not *all* theists are rabid.

I know that this should be obvious. But given the current state of religion and politics in America, it is all too easy to become polarized. I was pleased to see that outside of the dogmatic rhetoric, people can just be nice people.

Does anyone else have a similar experience? I just think that it might be good for us to share them with each other. Just to remind ourselves that most people are far more complex than their religious beliefs alone.

[ October 09, 2002: Message edited by: eldar1011 ]</p>

Ab_Normal

My best friend from college, who moved across country last year is a devout Mormon. A few months before she moved, her family was "sealed" at the temple in our town; they stayed with us for the weekend. She's never ever prostelytized or made an issue of my atheism. (Granted, I was agnostic when we met - I didn't acknowledge my atheism for another seven years.)

My mother is a moderately devout Catholic. About once a year we have the "it's easier to socialize the kid inside a religion" chat, but that's it.

My sister and brother-in-law are devout Catholics. My brother-in-law makes fun of us when we don't say grace when we're dining at their house, but that's just the kind of guy he is.

Heck, even my mother-in-law the evangelical Christian doesn't give us much guff, and my husband and I are raising her only grandchild.

I guess I've been very lucky to know the "cool" Xians. I just have to remind myself of this when my blood-pressure gets too high.

DMB

I hope in that case that you make fun when he does say grace.

brighid

One of my closest friends and his wife are pretty devout Christians, non-denominational Protestant. They aren’t preachy to me at all although we do have discussions about religion on occasion. I love both of them dearly and we don’t allow our differences to get in the way of our friendship.

One of the few people who went out of her way to be honest and kind to me when I was unwed and pregnant was a devoutly Christian woman I worked with. She wasn’t preachy to me that I remember and openly said that she did not agree with my choice of actions (premarital sex) but that she respected my choice to take on this responsibility. She would leave me crackers and chamomile tea all the time because that was about all I could eat. She was kind and caring once my son was born and never tried to convert me. I was vaguely religious back then, but more of a deist then anything else and definitely NOT a Christian. She knew that. We have lost touch since I moved. I still think of her and her kindness and honesty (when everyone else was gossiping) really helped me through that time.

I teach kickboxing at of all places, my local YMCA. There are plenty of Christians there but nothing overt and because we live in a very diverse community they would probably go out of business if they did. I even have a Muslim lady who wears a head scarf to my class.

I work with primarily Catholics. The 2 females in the office I have a good relationship with are both active members of their Churches. Even before knowing my feelings about religion, it was never an issue. They are just nice people.

I think most people are basically good and that the more vocal, radical members of any group tend to take the focus away from the predominantly decent folk. I think most people who I have encountered attend Church don’t care on way or the other even about Christianity. I think it’s a loosely held belief done for the social benefit and not necessarily for some rabid belief. I have probably had that experience because of living where I have – ie not the South - and I realize others haven’t had the benefit of that same experience and therefore have a different opinion on the matter.

My closest friend from childhood and her husband are vegans. I spent a week with them and was not ever confronted or chastised for eating meat in their presence. I was respectful of their views, but after a few days of eating nothing but veggies I had to have some meat! Perhaps because she is a professor of Philosophy and also teaches Logic and Critical Thinking she isn’t radical or confrontational! She believes proselytizing of any type is wrong and is capable of having a debate without it getting into personal attacks, etc.

I worked for an environmental group and I was the only meat eater amongst them ... and the only female that showered and shaved on a regular basis. Before canvasing we would all go out and eat ... ironically they all smoked like chimneys. We has some interesting ethical conversations that is for sure!

I also have plenty of experience to the contrary with Christians, Muslims, and other theists as well as with vegans, vegetarians and many other types of people. Basically my experience is there are good and bad people no matter where one goes.

Judge people by their deeds ...


Brighid

I ate Pascal's Wafer

I wouldn't even say that most theists are rabid. My girlfriend is a liberal Christian and rarely ever talks about religion. When we do discuss it the only issue we disagree with is over God's existence. We agree on everything else from God's nature if he did exist to his policy (and not sending people there forever).

I also know several up here at school who are cool with my Atheism and we have good friendships. Many of them feel just as I do about the rabid fundies. I would say the fundies are in the minority of theists, and most theists I've talked with consider such fundies as nutty kooks.

I suppose the reason we think fundies represent a larger population of theists than the do because the fundies tend to be more active in the religious discussions.

-Nick

Rosiel

Out of my small group of closest friends I'm the only atheist. My boyfriend is more of a deist, although he never has made claim to any specific belief (that's just what I think his beliefs resemble). My ex-roommate and best friend is a pretty devout Presbyterian, although she is nowhere near being a fundy. My other best friend and her husband are some flavor of Christian, but I'm really not sure what church they go to now. They're also pretty relaxed about their religion.

We tease each other sometimes, but overall are very tolerant of what we all believe. They've never tried to get me to convert or anything and I think some of the late-night conversations I had with my roommate got her to think about some things, although she ultimately stuck her fingers in her ears and admitted that she just didn't want to question her faith (I quit at that point and we've never had any conflicts).