Freethought & Rationalism Archive

ohwilleke · 07-06-2003, 06:29 PM

So far it has been tame. But, they are very "traditional" and "patriarchial" and I don't have the best track record with them. They just got here late last night, so Sunday wasn't even an issue, and so far there have been no arguments. But, that is with everyone keeping their distance and there are two weeks to go.

Loren Pechtel · 07-06-2003, 07:32 PM

I've never had in-law troubles beyond difficulty communicating (she speaks no English, he speaks little.) They have even lived with us for a total of nearly 2 years split into chunks.

ohwilleke · 07-07-2003, 10:57 AM

Should we call you Saint Loren?

Evolved · 07-07-2003, 01:14 PM

My MIL is having a family reunion on SAturday and Sunday and I'm dreading it very much.

My husbands sisters(3 of them) will be coming and they are always nasty. I can't do anything right and they look at me like I'm the family freak and for the most part I'll sit in a corner and be ignored. Except for when I'm told that I wouldn't be fat if I cooked better meals, and I know it's my fault that we moved away from Mother and I'll get chewed.

My hubby on the other hand will spend most of his time defending himself, he can't take care of Mother correctly. Mother thinks so too and she calls the sisters to whine every chance she gets. He takes very good care of her and she should be more grateful, if it wasn't for him she'd be in a nursing home by now. BTW, the old girl is 90.

Hubby tries to avoid confrontations, he hates them so he'll just sit there and then he'll rant when we get home about how the girls should mnd there own business or take care of Mother themselves. I sure wish he would tell them that.

But on the fun part, I see my Shrink on Friday and he's working on my confidence and assertiveness. In other words, I won't sit there like a lump the way my hubby wishes....I'm gonna chew ass right back at 'em!

About being Atheist, they figure that I don't know what I'm talking about and that I really do believe. I'm just trying to be different and difficult.

I'm really not looking forward to the week-end.

You are so lucky Loren.

CX · 07-07-2003, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evolved
My MIL is having a family reunion on SAturday and Sunday and I'm dreading it very much.

There's only one guaranteed way I can think of to make it through family gatherings...drink heavily.

MzNeko · 07-07-2003, 02:15 PM

The more I read this thread, the more I appreciate my own in-laws - they like me, and I think they're pretty terrific, too.

Not meaning to gloat, just appreciating what I have.

As a side note, my husband's mother was greatly relieved when he took up with me. The girl he'd been interested in before me was an very religious Evangelical Christian and M-I-L was afraid this girl would try to put a wedge between him and family.

She was so glad when he found a nice agnostic girl.

DarkBronzePlant · 07-07-2003, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ohwilleke
But, that is with everyone keeping their distance and there are two weeks to go.

Just wondering; why do they come to visit if everyone just "keeps their distance" anyway?

girlwriter · 07-07-2003, 07:00 PM

Feeling for you, ohwilleke.

Just had my Dad and Stepmom drop in on us for a couple of days. (Four day's notice.)

We're fine with the religion issue as long as we don't talk about it. (They're mormon - pretty serious about it, but a little bit on the liberal side.)

The big deal with us is the dad/daughter issues. We don't talk about those, either, which drives me crazy. So they just come and my dad talks about himself for two days.

ME: Yeah, sure dad, you can stay at my house for a couple of days on almost no notice. Oh, and sure I'll call up my sister's and arrange a big dinner at my house with them and all of thier kids (all 7 of them in my non-child-proofed home.) Oh, what's that? Why didn't I call you on father's day? Gee, dad, I tried, but you never gave me your new phone number, and your e-mail address no longer works (you know, the one you never used except to send me sappy chain mails?)

My husband can't figure out why I even care about the guy, and I don't know what to tell him.

Anyway, good luck with the in-laws. I guess it's better to not talk at all then to be verbally abused.

echidna · 07-08-2003, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ohwilleke
So far it has been tame. But, they are very "traditional" and "patriarchial" and I don't have the best track record with them. They just got here late last night, so Sunday wasn't even an issue, and so far there have been no arguments. But, that is with everyone keeping their distance and there are two weeks to go.

Well you know you just aren't good enough for her !!!

Sympathies. Grit teeth, bite tongue & I'm sure those 336 hours will just fly by.

soluble_fish · 07-08-2003, 07:34 AM

my wife's mom is an unrepentant fundie... she's been overprotective ever since her husband left her for a "devil-worshipping" wiccan.

all she knows is that i'm a christian. she is clueless as to the degree (or even existence) of my liberal views... i dread visiting her. :boohoo:

my wife, though, gets along wonderfully with my parents. in fact, she was living with them when she and i met. my parents are vaguely fundie, but we just don't talk about religion and politics because my dad and i get into hideous arguments where he just starts making sh*t up... he gets a little carried away.

so, i can empathize

sf

07-06-2003, 06:29 PM	#1
ohwilleke Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Denver, Colorado, USA Posts: 4,834	In laws in town. So far it has been tame. But, they are very "traditional" and "patriarchial" and I don't have the best track record with them. They just got here late last night, so Sunday wasn't even an issue, and so far there have been no arguments. But, that is with everyone keeping their distance and there are two weeks to go.

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07-06-2003, 07:32 PM	#2
Loren Pechtel Obsessed Contributor Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Not Mayaned Posts: 96,752	I've never had in-law troubles beyond difficulty communicating (she speaks no English, he speaks little.) They have even lived with us for a total of nearly 2 years split into chunks.

07-07-2003, 10:57 AM	#3
ohwilleke Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Denver, Colorado, USA Posts: 4,834	Should we call you Saint Loren?

07-07-2003, 01:14 PM	#4
Evolved Regular Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Fargo ND Posts: 261	My MIL is having a family reunion on SAturday and Sunday and I'm dreading it very much. My husbands sisters(3 of them) will be coming and they are always nasty. I can't do anything right and they look at me like I'm the family freak and for the most part I'll sit in a corner and be ignored. Except for when I'm told that I wouldn't be fat if I cooked better meals, and I know it's my fault that we moved away from Mother and I'll get chewed. My hubby on the other hand will spend most of his time defending himself, he can't take care of Mother correctly. Mother thinks so too and she calls the sisters to whine every chance she gets. He takes very good care of her and she should be more grateful, if it wasn't for him she'd be in a nursing home by now. BTW, the old girl is 90. Hubby tries to avoid confrontations, he hates them so he'll just sit there and then he'll rant when we get home about how the girls should mnd there own business or take care of Mother themselves. I sure wish he would tell them that. But on the fun part, I see my Shrink on Friday and he's working on my confidence and assertiveness. In other words, I won't sit there like a lump the way my hubby wishes....I'm gonna chew ass right back at 'em! About being Atheist, they figure that I don't know what I'm talking about and that I really do believe. I'm just trying to be different and difficult. I'm really not looking forward to the week-end. You are so lucky Loren.

07-07-2003, 02:15 PM	#6
MzNeko Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Long Beach, California Posts: 1,127	The more I read this thread, the more I appreciate my own in-laws - they like me, and I think they're pretty terrific, too. Not meaning to gloat, just appreciating what I have. As a side note, my husband's mother was greatly relieved when he took up with me. The girl he'd been interested in before me was an very religious Evangelical Christian and M-I-L was afraid this girl would try to put a wedge between him and family. She was so glad when he found a nice agnostic girl.

07-07-2003, 07:00 PM	#8
girlwriter Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Colorado, USA Posts: 300	Feeling for you, ohwilleke. Just had my Dad and Stepmom drop in on us for a couple of days. (Four day's notice.) We're fine with the religion issue as long as we don't talk about it. (They're mormon - pretty serious about it, but a little bit on the liberal side.) The big deal with us is the dad/daughter issues. We don't talk about those, either, which drives me crazy. So they just come and my dad talks about himself for two days. ME: Yeah, sure dad, you can stay at my house for a couple of days on almost no notice. Oh, and sure I'll call up my sister's and arrange a big dinner at my house with them and all of thier kids (all 7 of them in my non-child-proofed home.) Oh, what's that? Why didn't I call you on father's day? Gee, dad, I tried, but you never gave me your new phone number, and your e-mail address no longer works (you know, the one you never used except to send me sappy chain mails?) My husband can't figure out why I even care about the guy, and I don't know what to tell him. Anyway, good luck with the in-laws. I guess it's better to not talk at all then to be verbally abused.

07-08-2003, 07:34 AM	#10
soluble_fish Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: New Orleans Posts: 37	my wife's mom is an unrepentant fundie... she's been overprotective ever since her husband left her for a "devil-worshipping" wiccan. all she knows is that i'm a christian. she is clueless as to the degree (or even existence) of my liberal views... i dread visiting her. :boohoo: my wife, though, gets along wonderfully with my parents. in fact, she was living with them when she and i met. my parents are vaguely fundie, but we just don't talk about religion and politics because my dad and i get into hideous arguments where he just starts making sh*t up... he gets a little carried away. so, i can empathize sf

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