Arrowman

It's OK guys - ChickenSoup is obviously young and inexperienced.

brighid

To defend the good women out there – I have always treated my men well – except perhaps in my teen age years . I have picked up the tab, sent flowers, asked the man out, given compliments, initiated sex, and all that good stuff. Actually, other than my husband I found that I treated them better than they treated me – hence the end of the relationship. Now – it is true that there are women out there that expect their men to do everything for them and be dotted on like spoiled, little princesses – I know a few. But just as they are shitty men – there are shitty women and ALL men or ALL women should not be judged by the shitty contingent amongst our species.

I don’t know about you but I have always found it very aggravating to be evaluated by the actions of the EX – or other women who aren’t ME! I am a unique person, just as each of us are and no one deserves to be punished or judged by action that he or she has not actually taken.

And if you treat a partner well and that person does not reciprocate that kind and loving treatment – dump their sorry ass! I believe all the aggravation has been well worth it – at least in my own personal experience.


Brighid

chickensoupforthebowl

"Yeah, no kidding!"

-The fact that I may be cynical should be viewed as a virtue, and I take it as a compliment. If more women were cynical (as well as people generally), we'd have a lot less people crying to their friends saying "he said he loved me" while their boyfriend is two towns away sleeping with someone else after having just used her for sex.


"If you don't think women treat men every bit as well as men treat women, you are deluded!"

-Okay, here, I can play "look how stupid i can sound" too. If you don't think women treat men less than men treat women, you are a bipolar."

"Women maybe are just too subtle and smooth for you to pick it out,"

-Well, I needed a good laugh. As if women in general are ever subtle or smooth about anything.

The part about women looking beautiful and stuff like that seemed pointless to respond to, since you assume women are better at such things, that it has anything to do with what we're talking about, and things along those lines.

"By the way, if you think WOMEN are driven by status and money, what do you think MEN are driven by?"
-Men are driven by sex.

"Studies, by the way, have shown a correlation between testosterone level of men and their drive for power and money (ambition). more testosterone often = more drive for power and money."
-And what does more power and money equal? More sex. Saying "studies" doesn't impress me much either, and if you'd like to actually name the study(ies) i'd be more than happy to look at them, not that i see how it matters. I also think you confuse what i said. Women are after power and money in MEN, not in themselves. To use your terminology, "Studies" have shown this over and over again. One such book you could read is "The Mating Mind", which argues that basically everything we do revolves around sex and reproduction, including painting, constructing, etc.
Also, I never said that in a marriage or a long term relationship the women doesn't treat the man better emotionally, although I think the many men who have to constantly tell their wives they're beautiful and all of that when they really are fat, may disagree. Rather, I said that when people first start dating the man has to treat the woman better than she treats him, overall, or he will never get anywhere. If a guy shows up at your house with a nice thing of flowers, tells you how beautiful you are, holds the door for you, and treats you like a "lady" all night, he has a much better shot of getting in your pants than the guy the next night who just pulls up, says "let's go", and treats you like an "equal" the whole night, i.e. not paying for the meal, not holding the door, not complimenting you or pretending he's really interested in what you think of things why he stays silent. Unless you're feeling like a bad girl or something and want to be treated like shiot.

[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: ChickenSoupForTheBowl ]</p>

Rhea

Oh, my! I just got back to read this. How funny, ChixSoup! So many things to comment on. Knowing of course that your mind is NOT open. LOL. But I'll have my fun. As another poster said, I would have to make a guess that you are pretty young.

1. Saying "let's go"! is not what is defined as treating like an equal. LOL. You imply that that's the way she is treating him if that's equal?

2. You seem to be confusing "treating better than themselves" with "treating like a superior". Strange leap of logic. "a man almost always has to treat a woman better than she treats him" funny how in human interaction, regardless of gender, even in business relationships, people usually think they are treating better than they are treated. Funny, that. But usually, people have their eyes open _just_ wide enough to recognize this human fallacy and remind themselves of its error. Not you, by golly!

3. Your obsession with weight is hilarious. What does it have to do with how many times my husband must had "had" me? LOL. And this has to do with treating people well - how??? Too funny.

4. How the only way I could come by my contentment is by being fat or ugly. What? You're willing to bet I'm fat or ugly because I think you have no clue about women aside from a small (and undesirable) class of them? LOL. I'm STILL glad I don't hang out with people like the ones you appear to hang out with.

5. "Oh, and for the record" LOL I remember guys like you when I was in graduate school. They were a (usually celebate) minority I am glad to say. I married someone a little more human, phew. With no lack of intelligence. Although, I will point out (knowing it's fruitless) that most people understand that education does not equal intelligence.


Poor you. So miserable about women! So sure that 90% of them are beneath you! So sure that the other 10% will spurn you if you don't meet materialistic standards! My, my, my. I'm really glad I'm a HAPPY individual with a healthy relationship that does not include manipulation for se xual favors. Wow, you did give me a chuckle. I'm glad I came back to this!

chickensoupforthebowl

“Oh, my! I just got back to read this. How funny, ChixSoup! So many things to comment on. Knowing of course that your mind is NOT open.”

-People usually say another’s mind is “NOT open” when they simply can’t respond to what the other says. If you don’t have anything useful to say, then simply don’t say anything, but please spare me the empty attacks. But, I can play as well again, knowing of course that your mind is one that is structured in a way to label you “retarded”.

“LOL. But I'll have my fun. As another poster said, I would have to make a guess that you are pretty young.”

-The tone of your post up to this point only shows that age has nothing to do with maturity, being open, etc., since a comment “I’ll have my fun” is already making an implication you think your views are so beyond mine and better, which they simply aren’t. My age is simply irrelevant to this conversation as well, as is yours and everyone else’s, and you’re just making yourself out to be a fool by playing psychologist and projecting ideas of why I believe what I do based on my age.

“1. Saying "let's go"! is not what is defined as treating like an equal. LOL. You imply that that's the way she is treating him if that's equal?”

-You’re simply taking an example and making it the foundation of something that isn’t the case. If you had read, and posted, the rest of my comment, you would have seen that treating you like an equal would be not paying for the meal (paying half while you pay half), not holding the door for you, etc. I was simply pointing out that a guy that treats you better than a guy that just treats you as an equal will have a better shot of getting into your pants. Please stick to THAT point rather than cutting snippets.

“2. You seem to be confusing "treating better than themselves" with "treating like a superior". Strange leap of logic.”

-I have never said, or implied, treating someone better means you are treating them superior, so I don’t know why you would quote “treating like a superior”. I can treat many people better, namely to get into their pants, without thinking they’re superior in anyway. So, the strange leap of logic, or thought, is coming from you, since you leap from “treating better” to “treating superior” which is a non sequitor and I didn’t say.


"a man almost always has to treat a woman better than she treats him" funny how in human interaction, regardless of gender, even in business relationships, people usually think they are treating better than they are treated.”

-Again, you’re taking this out of context. In business relationships, particularly today, a man has to be extremely careful what he says to women, since so many will cry “harassment” over something that was anything but. Again, if you had read my post the statement applied to men and women just beginning to date or on the first date. Also, whether one thinks they are being treated worse than they think they are treating others doesn’t seem to matter, since the person may be being treated a whole lot better without even realizing it. I simply fail to see how this point has anything to do with what I posted.

“Funny, that. But usually, people have their eyes open _just_ wide enough to recognize this human fallacy and remind themselves of its error. Not you, by golly!”
-What are you talking about? Have their eyes open wide enough to see what error? This has nothing to do with what I posted.


“3. Your obsession with weight is hilarious. What does it have to do with how many times my husband must had "had" me? LOL. And this has to do with treating people well - how??? Too funny.”

-I’m not obsessed with weight. Rather, I simply acknowledge that a fat woman isn’t attractive, as do the majority of men, and that if you’re fat, or get fat, the desire to sleep with you will be lessened. If your husband has had you for years and years your body will more likely than not being boring to him after so much time. You can only go to the ice cream store and get chocolate ice cream so much before you start to desire another flavor or get bored of the one you‘ve had. It also had to do with the difference between how men may treat women when they first start dating and how they treat them after they have had kids or after they have had sex with them hundreds of times.

“4. How the only way I could come by my contentment is by being fat or ugly. What? You're willing to bet I'm fat or ugly because I think you have no clue about women aside from a small (and undesirable) class of them? LOL.”

-Actually, genius, I was simply playing your name calling game. But, I would still bet that you’re fat and ugly. If you’d like to post your picture and prove otherwise that would be fine. You can think all you want that I have no clue about women, but you’d simply be wrong. While my romantic life is no one’s business on these boards, I can leave it at it’s hardly boring and it’s hardly with an “undesirable” class of them, assuming you consider beauty and intelligence desirable.

“I'm STILL glad I don't hang out with people like the ones you appear to hang out with.”

-I’m not surprised by that, considering your seeming inability to actually respond to what I write. If you don’t wish to hang out with professors, doctorate students, etc., that is up to you.

“5. "Oh, and for the record" LOL I remember guys like you when I was in graduate school. They were a (usually celebate) minority I am glad to say. I married someone a little more human, phew. With no lack of intelligence. Although, I will point out (knowing it's fruitless) that most people understand that education does not equal intelligence.”

-Education does equal intelligence. If no one had any education they’d be stupid. Every great philosopher, every “intelligent” person has had an education of some sort. If you mean an education in the sense of going to a school, then sure, I’d agree. There are plenty of stupid people who get into college, who even go into grad school. Are you suggesting that the people I know and hang out with aren’t intelligent? I don’t see how you can remember guys “like me” in graduate school, considering you don’t know me or anything about me other than what I post on the board. How do you also know so much about your classmates?

“Poor you. So miserable about women!”

-I simply find you to be really confused. I never said, or implied, I’m miserable about women. I simply acknowledge what women want. I think your mistake is you’re trying to play the psychologist role, and considering my research in grad school focuses on the negative effects of psychology, labeling, etc., on contemporary America and American history, this tact won’t work with me. If you have SOMETHING of importance to say, please say it, but the majority of research backs up what I say.

“So sure that 90% of them are beneath you! So sure that the other 10% will spurn you if you don't meet materialistic standards!”

-I think very few people are underneath me, nor do I think the majority of women will spurn me, since unlike you I respect what people say, respond to it maturely, and continue on my way. You, however, can’t seem to type anything without making psychological inferences that you have no information to base it on. You know nothing about me or how I am in life to suggest I think women are beneath me or that I think the other will spurn me.

“My, my, my. I'm really glad I'm a HAPPY individual with a healthy relationship that does not include manipulation for se xual favors. Wow, you did give me a chuckle. I'm glad I came back to this!”

-Again, you do the same thing. You don’t know about me, so saying you’re “HAPPY”, as if to imply I’m not, is petty. I think if you want to look back over your post you’ll see that you COMPLETELY ignored the entire discussion up to this point. Rather, you tried to belittle me with “LOL” and “my, my, my”, which only makes you look like, well, an idiot. If you want to play psychologist go have tea with your friends. If you want to actually respond to the point of this entire forum, do that. Otherwise, you’re really annoying how you constantly project things, make up things, and consistently avoid the issue. If you find THAT funny, that’s sad. (Also, if this post was any indication of your “intelligence”, give your husband my apologies for a life wasted.)

[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: ChickenSoupForTheBowl ]</p>

MadKally

ChickenSoup,
I've been reading your previous posts and I have a question. Are you a Christian? No offense, I'm curious.

Ape

Do you mind producing some proof for this claim?
Have you actually conducted or read a study about any correlation between the type of car a man drives and his reproductive success?

Or are you just stating your opinion?

Since you seem to know more about women than women themselves do, have you even asked women about this? How many women would say that they would be more likely to have sex with a man based on the type of car he drives?

Are you really a woman? Or have you asked any women at all about what you claim they think? How can you presume to state such claims without backing them up? With all your supposed education, you do understand that people just will not believe you on faith alone? So produce some evidence.

However it is MY opinion that you are merely stating your opinion based on some disturbing experiences that you may have had.

If I am wrong, please show your proof. If not don’t bother to reply because it will be just your disturbed opinion as invalid as all the others.

P.S. Do you perhaps own a bmw for that reason? I bet it must be frustrating.

DarkDruid

Well, most of the things Chicken said have already been replied to. So rather than stating more of the same, I will instead focus on one of his comments. More specifically, "men are motivated by sex."

Of course, in my opinion, this attitude has undermined men throughout the centuries. It makes me rather frusterated whenever I hear something this simplistic. It is probibly because I am a man and feel slandered whenever this is mentioned, but I shall try to look past this.

"Men are motivated by sex." I suppose that is true to some degree, but it seems to be a compairative statement. What are women motivated by? You said power and money in men. According to my own experiance, women are motived by sex just as much as men are. Secondly, this "men = horny" attitude you seem to have glazes over all sorts of serious psychological problems that alot of men have and are ignored by said attitude. It used to be thought that men couldn't control themselves in sexual situations. I know for a fact that that is not true, but think how many molestations, eta. occured (and still occur) and were blamed on the women for wearing "tight cloathes" or some other silly reason. Frankly, as a male, I like to think of myself in better terms than being motivated purely by sex, or having all my desires for a mate be reduced to randyness.