Freethought & Rationalism Archive

conkermaniac · 06-19-2003, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous - it didn't flip over. It floated on top of the flood waters like any ship these days does on the seas - as the water rose - so to did the Ark.

Wasn't it you who agreed that the ark did probably flip over? Well, in any case, you should read THIS annotation from the SAB:

Quote:

Noah is told to make an ark that is 450 feet long. The largest wooden ships ever built were just over 300 feet, and they required diagonal iron strapping for support. Even so, they leaked so badly that they had to be pumped constantly. Are we to believe that Noah, with no shipbuilding knowledge and no shipbuilding tradition to rely upon, was able to construct a wooden ship that was longer than any that has been built since?

Oh wait, he magically built it with God's help, right?

Queen of Swords · 06-20-2003, 06:52 AM

Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous

How did Noah provide adequate ventilation for the decks of his "enormous" boat? Central air-conditioning?

And what kind of illumination did he have on this "enormous" boat? Fluorescent lights or tungsten bulbs? Or did he just issue all his family with personal flashlights and hope that the batteries lasted?

scombrid · 06-20-2003, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QueenofSwords
Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous

How did Noah provide adequate ventilation for the decks of his "enormous" boat? Central air-conditioning?

And what kind of illumination did he have on this "enormous" boat? Fluorescent lights or tungsten bulbs? Or did he just issue all his family with personal flashlights and hope that the batteries lasted?

Well they had special lamps that burned the excessive methane produced by the ungulates.

"But that would make overheat the boat and cause CO poisoning". You say.

Nope. He trained all the birds and winged insects to line up next to the window and flap really hard to exhaust the fumes.

Remember, these were all the clean and good animals and humans from earth. They all got on quite well and did whatever Noah asked. I bet Noah was a regular Dr. Doolittle.

Oolon Colluphid · 06-20-2003, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous - it didn't flip over. It floated on top of the flood waters like any ship these days does on the seas - as the water rose - so to did the Ark.

Oh holy shit!

Ah, are those dorsal fins I see cutting through the water? I do believe they are! Magus, you have just become intellectual sharkbait. And I don�t have time to join the feeding frenzy.... save me some scraps folks please!

Oolon

conkermaniac · 06-20-2003, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by scombrid
Well they had special lamps that burned the excessive methane produced by the ungulates.

"But that would make overheat the boat and cause CO poisoning". You say.

Nope. He trained all the birds and winged insects to line up next to the window and flap really hard to exhaust the fumes.

Remember, these were all the clean and good animals and humans from earth. They all got on quite well and did whatever Noah asked. I bet Noah was a regular Dr. Doolittle.

Umm...you're joking, right? I really hope you are because if you believe that, then I feel sorry for you.

Quote:

How did Noah provide adequate ventilation for the decks of his "enormous" boat? Central air-conditioning?

With the miniscule size of the window (approximately 18 inches square), all the animals would suffocate even if there were only one deck!

Oolon Colluphid · 06-20-2003, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous - it didn't flip over. It floated on top of the flood waters like any ship these days does on the seas - as the water rose - so to did the Ark.

Ah well, just a quickie:

Magus, you do realise that there heaps of organisms that utterly depend on other organisms to exist, yeah? These things could not survive anywhere except in and on the other critters. So unless god did a frantic bit more creating after the flood, all these others, whether �clean� or not, had to be on board too.

One problem. The large subset of these organisms I�m specifically thinking of are known as �parasites� and �pathogens�.

These things had to be on the ark too.

The ark�s inhabitants were therefore subject to such delights as epidemic typhus, typhoid, cholera, amoebic dysentery, rabies, Ebola, Lassa, Marburg, hookworms, bot-flies, sand fleas, plague, malaria, hepatitis and a few dozen more. And that�s just the humans.

Please do tell: why was the ark not a stinking pile of rotting corpses long before settling on Ararat?

TTFN, Oolon

scombrid · 06-20-2003, 09:10 AM

Ever smelled vulture vomit?

Spenser · 06-20-2003, 09:14 AM

No you guys, you have it completely wrong. You see, if you interpret the bible correctly you'll see Noah single handedly built an aircraft carrier out of gopher wood where the animals could be taken on deck regularly for exercise. Don't mind the fact that there was no such things as 'aircrafts' back then, God explained all that to Noah along with running the wood built nuclear reactor and properly navigating a vessel 100 times larger than anything the world has previously seen. The only flaw was Noah was absent the day avoiding mountains was taught in class and hence the end of the story.

Go ahead, read it for yourself, or better yet believe it just cause I told you so...

:boohoo:

ps418 · 06-20-2003, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Magus55:
Originally posted by Magus55
The Ark was enormous - it didn't flip over. It floated on top of the flood waters like any ship these days does on the seas

Uh huh. And the seas during Noah's flood were as calm as the seas of today, no doubt. I'm sure that the rain, the dozens of meterorite impacts and the bumper car plate tectonics going on at the time did not create so much as a ripple to perturb the ark.

Arr, steady as she goes.

Patrick

Spaz · 06-20-2003, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by scombrid
Well they had special lamps that burned the excessive methane produced by the ungulates.

Haha, I never even thought of the methane before, damn if they took a torch in there that place would've went up faster than you could say "Glory!"

06-20-2003, 09:14 AM	#128
Spenser Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Don't you wish your boy friend got drunk like me, Posts: 7,808	The Real Noah Story No you guys, you have it completely wrong. You see, if you interpret the bible correctly you'll see Noah single handedly built an aircraft carrier out of gopher wood where the animals could be taken on deck regularly for exercise. Don't mind the fact that there was no such things as 'aircrafts' back then, God explained all that to Noah along with running the wood built nuclear reactor and properly navigating a vessel 100 times larger than anything the world has previously seen. The only flaw was Noah was absent the day avoiding mountains was taught in class and hence the end of the story. Go ahead, read it for yourself, or better yet believe it just cause I told you so... :boohoo:

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

06-20-2003, 06:52 AM	#122
Queen of Swords Contributor Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Canada. Finally. Posts: 10,155	Originally posted by Magus55 The Ark was enormous How did Noah provide adequate ventilation for the decks of his "enormous" boat? Central air-conditioning? And what kind of illumination did he have on this "enormous" boat? Fluorescent lights or tungsten bulbs? Or did he just issue all his family with personal flashlights and hope that the batteries lasted?

06-20-2003, 09:10 AM	#127
scombrid Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Central Florida Posts: 2,759	Ever smelled vulture vomit?

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.