Pensee

My parent's divorce didn't make a bit of difference to me. It was the shit that happened after the divorce that impacted me so much. The divorce itself was of very little consequence.

free12thinker

I agree 100%. People who oppose divorce (no matter how far apart the couple have drifted) must have a very low regard for happiness and probably married out of some sort of responsibility factor.

We are human. We are fragile. We are imperfect. It's not always going to work out. And if it isn't working out, the worst thing you can do for yourself (and for the parties involved) is to keep trucking along anyway. It's not healthy. Save your sex life. Save your heart. Save whatever dignity you have for yourself and whatever amicable relationship you have left with your spouse.

Divorce if you must, but handle the "kids" situation with as much delicacy and dignity as you can. After all, a lot of kids are not emotionally stable or mature enough to read past the hostility that too often hovers around fighting-seperation and finally; divorce.

cymbalina

My parents divorced shortly before my second birthday, and though I saw my father a few times and talked to him on the phone, I never really felt a loss or desired a reconciliation.
However, when I was seven, they did reconcile, and remarried the following year. That was far worse, as though they loved each other, they still had to work out the problems in their relationship. The main one is that my father is schizophrenic, and the treatment then didn't work for him. Until he was given something more effective, I had to deal with watching my parents fight often, and I heard my father's hallucination-induced rants directed at my mother's family, and I couldn't understand why. Once my mother even pulled knife out and announced she was going to slash the tires to my father's car. In short, the reconciliation was ten times more traumatizing than their separation. Granted, things worked out in the long run, after my father's treatment improved his stability, but unless that had happened, they would have gone through a second divorce-- for very good reasons, in my opinion. They loved each other, and were trying their best, but it was not a healthy situation, especially not for a child.
So, um, my point is that the stock phrases for the immorality of divorce don't always apply, and that divorces can be a positive thing for children. IMO.