Freethought & Rationalism Archive

CaptainOfOuterSpace · 07-25-2003, 12:14 PM

The following is from Richard's questions for God page where, apparently, a nine-year-old girl (uh huh) asks questions that are answered by Richard ...er, I mean God.

Quote:

QUESTION:
My schoolteacher is an atheist. She says that if there is a God, why is there so much suffering and hunger in the world? I think she is mainly stupid, but I don't know how to answer her very well. After all, I am only nine years old. --Naomi

ANSWER:
I get very tired of these pseudo-intellectuals who strut around like the turkeys that they are, pretending that I don't exist. The reason there is so much pain in the world is because I have given people a choice. After all, if I didn't allow atheists like her to make the wrong choice, then it wouldn't be freedom of choice, now would it? I don't understand why morons such as your teacher can't grasp even the simplest of logic. hat kind of teacher is that, anyway? "I think, therefore I am"---what an utterly stupid and asinine statement that is! I created rocks and they don't think, but if your teacher doesn't learn to stop lying, one of them is likely to fall on her head someday soon and then she will more than likely believe they exist---just watch and see. Come to think of it, as I recall, she crawled out from under some petrified, pre-historic rock in the first place---sure as hell, I didn't create her. Most of the rocks I created have a lot more smarts than she ever hoped to have. --God

QUESTION:
My friend Rachel's older brother belongs to the Mensa Society. He says that we came from monkeys automatically without any help from you. He believes in some weird-sounding religion called Unnatural Superstitionism and says that we don't need you anyway, because modern science is going to solve all of our problems. Do you think this is true? --Naomi

ANSWER:
As you know, Naomi, I don't believe in any religion, including that inane superstition drivel that tries to eliminate me from science---not that it has anything to do with real science, Naomi---true science doesn't ignore the obvious evidence of me. I recommend that you stick to your much more credible regular fairytales. I can't recall any survivors of Hiroshima that have much faith in modern science. Perhaps they are a bit prejudiced, Naomi, but that is the reality as far as I can tell. And I don't know of any baboons other than Charlie Darwin and Charlie Manson who believe that they are the grandparents of people. Every other baboon that I am aware of vehemently denies such ludicrous and baseless slander and the ACLU (that's the Animal Civil Liberties Union, Naomi) has strictly forbidden that any such blasphemous misguided prejudice be allowed to be taught in zoo school.
One thing I can tell you for certain is that brother of Rachel hasn't the foggiest idea of how he got here, nor do I---all I know is that I most certainly didn't create him. I do however, have a very definite idea of where he is going and let me tell you, Naomi, it is a lot warmer there than you would care to find out. And by the way, I sure as hell wish that people would stop equating me with religion. I don't like religion. because it causes people like your teacher and Rachel's brother to not believe in me. Religion is a big waste of everybody's time, especially mine. --God

wtf?

After reading these, I seriously doubt that debating him is constructive use of anyone's time.

Rhaedas · 07-25-2003, 12:23 PM

WTF indeed... :banghead:

Is that supposed to be an informative page for young children, or some sick humor piece? Somehow I don't think George Burns, who it's dedicated to, would be amused.

Maybe you have to read it with the holy spirit in you...you know...like that one book.

Mr. Neutron · 07-25-2003, 12:26 PM

Wow, I never realized that God was such an imbecile.

JaeIsGod · 07-25-2003, 12:37 PM

First of all , let me say that the person who wrote this needs a serious kick in the nutts. Maybe one in the face too.Nothing like teaching children that certain people are bad and dumb...

But anyhow this one line is brilliant

Quote:

Religion is a big waste of everybody's time, especially mine. --God

07-25-2003, 01:25 PM

It seems to be the same twit who has posted here.
It begins to look as though he is just a drive-by idiot.

I must say that the kind of ranting he has gone in for seems quite unsuitable for nine-year-olds. As an atheist parent, I faced this kind of problem when my 10-year-old son was subjected to heavy xian indoctrination at his boarding school. He used to come to me for advice. I didn't tell him that the teacher was a numskull.

Roland98 · 07-25-2003, 04:36 PM

Wow, God calls atheists turkeys and morons? That's it, he's off my Christmas card list.

Goober · 07-28-2003, 05:45 AM

Read his "Random chance A-Z primer of science and the bible" for conclusive proof that we are dealing with a moron: here

Some choice quotes from it, which I posted in the other forum:

Quote:

B) Some modern scientists have speculated that the universe may be surrounded by water; i.e., that it may be a huge cosmic 'bubble' expanding in a much larger cosmic ocean. The Bible says the universe is an expansion that is surrounded by water.

C) Modern science claims that our known current universe took a very long time, that is from our human perspective, to come into being. So does the Bible.

D) Modern science claims that the earth is spherical. So does the Bible (although this interpretation is disputed by some).

Quote:

K) Modern science claims that no person is 100% hetero or homo sexual, but that we are all caught up somewhere between these two extremes. So does the Bible, although the Bible contains the more accurate view that we all fall �short� of being sexually whole; according to the Bible, there is fundamentally no difference before our Creator between �hetero�, �bi� or �homo� sexual human beings, as people are conveniently and very incorrectly defined and classified in modern-day society.

Quote:

O) Some modern scientists have speculated that beings from habitats beyond the earth may have visited our planet one or more times. The Bible says that this is true.

Division By Zero · 07-28-2003, 07:08 AM

Wow, what an imbecile.

I just wish I could say I haven't seen worse.

Quantum Ninja · 07-28-2003, 07:49 AM

Yikes! Is God really meant to be that much of an asshole?

Quote:

And I don't know of any baboons other than Charlie Darwin and Charlie Manson who believe that they are the grandparents of people.

It would seem that God himself can't even grasp the concept of evolutionary theory.

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07-25-2003, 12:23 PM	#2
Rhaedas Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: USA Posts: 3,440	WTF indeed... :banghead: Is that supposed to be an informative page for young children, or some sick humor piece? Somehow I don't think George Burns, who it's dedicated to, would be amused. Maybe you have to read it with the holy spirit in you...you know...like that one book.

07-25-2003, 12:26 PM	#3
Mr. Neutron Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Innsmouth Posts: 1,296	Wow, I never realized that God was such an imbecile.

07-25-2003, 01:25 PM	#5
DMB Guest Posts: n/a	It seems to be the same twit who has posted here. It begins to look as though he is just a drive-by idiot. I must say that the kind of ranting he has gone in for seems quite unsuitable for nine-year-olds. As an atheist parent, I faced this kind of problem when my 10-year-old son was subjected to heavy xian indoctrination at his boarding school. He used to come to me for advice. I didn't tell him that the teacher was a numskull.

07-25-2003, 04:36 PM	#6
Roland98 Contributor Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Gilead Posts: 11,186	Wow, God calls atheists turkeys and morons? That's it, he's off my Christmas card list.

07-28-2003, 07:08 AM	#8
Division By Zero Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: USA Posts: 179	Wow, what an imbecile. I just wish I could say I haven't seen worse.

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