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03-10-2002, 01:34 PM | #1 | ||
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A New Episode Of TROLL HUNTER!
[CUE manly theme music and opening credits.]
[WIPE TO: STEVE, in the deep, dank dusty bowels of a library; stacks of books can be seen on either side. There's no power down here, so Steve finds his way along with a FLASHLIGHT, the spiffy halogen kind they use on THE X-FILES and CSI. Thick motes of dust drift through the beam.] G'day, and welcome to a special episode of TROLL HUNTER! There's a wily and loquacious new troll running rampant through the E/C/ forums, a newly evolved species I've tentatively labeled trollus quotitatus. Instead of chasing this verbose and repetitious bugger across the boards, I decided to start a new thread, so you all know where to go for the funny . I’m here in the lower levels of the library at the University of Wallamaloo, trying to help trollus quotitatus over his quotation fixation by tracking down the context of some of his favorite quotes. I asked the friendly librarian at the desk, Shirlene, for some assistance, and she’s sent me down here, “to the stacks.” Why, you ask? Well, just take a look at the sources of some of the favorite quotes of the trollus quotitatus. [STEVE begins to thumb through the stacks, and the camera looks over his shoulder. As he pulls old tomes from the shelves, we see: Quote:
Cough! Cough! See? The context--hack! Wheeze!--the context of these quotes is--hack! Cough! … ‘scuse me, mates … [STEVE ducks off camera. There is a momentary fit of hacking and coughing, followed by a discharge of phlegm.] [STEVE reappears, smiling.] Sorry; dust allergy. Anyways, the context of these quotes is, quite simply, an old one, regardless of any other contextual concerns. The trollus quotitatus only found one quote less than 20 years old, and that one’s still 15 years’ past. Crikey, I’ve learned a lot about *crocs* in that time, never mind evolution! Even if these quite popular scientific minds aren’t being quoted out of context, is it possible they’ve learned nothing over the past 20-plus years? Let’s go see what they’re saying nowadays, shall we? [CUT TO: STEVE, now on the main floor of the library. The stacks are neat and clean, the lights are on, and Steve sits before a COMPUTER, accessing an online journal database. A pretty blonde sits in his lap.] We’re up on the main floor of the library at the University of Wallamaloo, where I’ve asked the lovely Shirlene here to show me around the electronic databases and catalogs. And with her help, I’ve found just a few interesting things. [STEVE punches a few keys, and the camera CUTS TO a feed from the library catalog. We see: Quote:
Well, folks, I’m done for now, but I’ll certainly continue to track the movements of the wiley trollus quotitatus, and I’ll be sure to bring all the best highlights and comments to you here on … TROLL HUNTER!!!!!! [CUE manly theme music and end credits.] [ March 10, 2002: Message edited by: Troll Hunter ]</p> |
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03-10-2002, 01:37 PM | #2 |
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03-10-2002, 01:44 PM | #3 | |
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My favorite part:
Quote:
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03-10-2002, 01:56 PM | #4 |
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Methinks Randy-man must be cowaring under a bridge somewhere right now. But then again he may verywell come forth with a statement like "that prooves nothing". Hey, if someone wants to believe the sky is orange with pink polkadots they will believe it no matter what.
Excellent work BTW Troll Hunter. |
03-10-2002, 02:03 PM | #5 |
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03-10-2002, 02:14 PM | #6 |
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03-10-2002, 02:21 PM | #7 |
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Dear Troll Hunter,
I LOVE YOU! Kally |
03-10-2002, 04:47 PM | #8 |
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Yay! Troll Hunter!! <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />
Can't wait till the next episode! |
03-11-2002, 10:43 AM | #9 |
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<img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> Peez |
03-11-2002, 10:55 AM | #10 |
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TH,
You should do a whole series of these. Then get with a decent artist and make them into comics. Sort like Chick tracts (ahem ) for science (of course unlike Chick tracts you us actual data and real scientific prinicaples)! I think you would make a mint!!! Keep on keeping on! Gorgo |
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