Freethought & Rationalism Archive

ecco · 07-01-2005, 01:32 PM

So all we have to do is dig up Adam's remains and check to see if he has a bellybutton.

If he doesn't, then 95% of the people on this board are in BIG trouble. If he has one, then it's OK to continue in our heathen ways.

Actually, many theists coming to this board have asked the question; "What would it take for you to believe in God?". I've never been able to come up with an answer. Now I know. Seeing Adam's remains without a BB.

Sin · 07-02-2005, 06:48 AM

But he'd be all skeletal, so you wouldn't be able to tell anyways.
Unless he was turned into a tasty piece of man jerky, that is.

vsop44 · 07-02-2005, 11:23 AM

Obviously Adam never participated in the exciting experiment of navel Gazing !!!!

Dr_Paine · 07-02-2005, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomas II

...Thomas?...Thomas?...Where are you,Thomas?...

"Here I am Lord. I didn't do it! That bitch you stuck me with ate the fucking fruit the snake - that looked like a dildo - gave her!"

"I tried to hide from you, because I'm too stupid to realize that you are the omniscient and omnipresent one. I forgot that subsequent editions of your Holy Word would describe you as such.

"Why don't we have any damn Bibles down here so we can know these things!"

"It's not my fault that my father raised a fucking idiot!"

Quetzalcoatl · 07-03-2005, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomas II

Yeah...And why would god walk around in the garden all the time when Adam and Eve were there all naked?
Why didn't god tell them they were naked?
Did god like watching??...Was god himself dressed or was he naked too??...
What the heck was going on there??? What kind of a place was "The Garden of Eden"??

Oh,no...Wait a second...Wasn't that a weird "coincidence" that THE day Eve
"ate the apple"...god had gone to town "to do some errands"?...hmmm... Really???
What errands???
Was Eve really "alone" that day an alledged "snake" gave her something to eat??
Was god really doing errands??
Where did these two spend the afternoon??? Doing what??
And why was she in such a hurry to show Adam what she had just learned about eating the apple??? What was she so exited about??
Oh,noooo...Do you see what happened there???

And then god seemed to be pissed with Adam...and with Eve too...
I guess god thought he was going to be the only one, jealous as he was!!
And kicked them both out of there...
So this is what went on in "The Garden of Eden"...I just knew it...It was god all along!!!
Sneaky,isn't it?
Snakey indeed...

No man. Yahweh gay. Remember he would only show Moses his behind and then proclaim “I am that I am�?. He was trying to come out the closet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vsop44

Since Adam and Eve were created by god and not born from the womb of a woman , there was no need of an umbilical cord which is the only reason human beings have a belly button .

So did Adam and Eve have a belly button ? :huh:

Yes they did have a belly bottom. Yahweh being all wise knew they would one day have young un who would ask “mom dad why is there something growing on tummy?�?

What more theologians need to concentrate on is how Yahweh taught them to have sex. Telling people to be fruitful and multiply is not really, how to put it, instructional.

Yahweh: "Adam you need to take… you know… that thing you have being touching."
Adam: "It was an itch, my Lord."
Yahweh: "Adam I am all knowing Now you need to put it in" <loud sound to muffle conversation>
Adam: "You want me to do what? I ain’t no animal."
Yahweh: "Trust me you’ll like it. My ghost has a surprise for Mary in 4000 yrs."

Why don’t sane people see these stories for the myths that they are? Maybe I just answered my question. Never mind carry on folks.

Thomas II · 07-03-2005, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quezecoatl

No man. Yahweh gay. Remember he would only show Moses his behind and then proclaim “I am that I am�?. He was trying to come out the closet.

:rolling: That is funny.

Thomas II · 07-03-2005, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quezecoatl

Why don’t sane people see these stories for the myths that they are? Maybe I just answered my question.

People don't see the stories for the myths that they are because the Church told them that they were not mythology but REALITY...or else...
"Ok. This is the way it is. Adam and Eve,REAL STORY..."
"But, what if..."
"Who said that?"
"Well, I was saying..."
"You were saying?...(draws his sword...) Go ahead! You were saying?..."
"Well,..er... I was saying that it is a VERY REAL story, and thankyouverymuch!

Insanity would have been more like:
"Well I think this story is bullshi...!
...(swishhh)...(bum,bump,bidibump)...
Anyone?...Anyone?...ok,as I was saying, Adam and Eve,REAL STORY...

Why do people still believe it now? Because people have been CONDITIONED
not to think otherwise...

MonCapitan2002 · 07-03-2005, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sin

But he'd be all skeletal, so you wouldn't be able to tell anyways.
Unless he was turned into a tasty piece of man jerky, that is.

Hehe. That comment made me chuckle. I would not want to see what Adam would look like as a tasty piece of man jerky. The sight would likely be quite unpleasant.

Roland · 07-03-2005, 05:29 PM

And how were Adam and Eve able to walk around naked in a lush tropical garden when just a few days prior to their creation, the sun didn't yet exist, making the temperature at the surface of the earth something close to Absolute Zero?

Thomas II · 07-03-2005, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roland

And how were Adam and Eve able to walk around naked in a lush tropical garden when just a few days prior to their creation, the sun didn't yet exist, making the temperature at the surface of the earth something close to Absolute Zero?

Yeah,but that was in the rest of the world. The Garden of Eden was a balmy
72-75 F...How do you think Adam and Eve were able to walk around naked?
:huh:
And how was this possible you say?
In a word, THERMOSTAT!!! :wave:

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07-01-2005, 01:32 PM	#11
ecco Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: SE Posts: 4,845	So all we have to do is dig up Adam's remains and check to see if he has a bellybutton. If he doesn't, then 95% of the people on this board are in BIG trouble. If he has one, then it's OK to continue in our heathen ways. Actually, many theists coming to this board have asked the question; "What would it take for you to believe in God?". I've never been able to come up with an answer. Now I know. Seeing Adam's remains without a BB.

07-02-2005, 06:48 AM	#12
Sin Junior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 11	But he'd be all skeletal, so you wouldn't be able to tell anyways. Unless he was turned into a tasty piece of man jerky, that is.

07-02-2005, 11:23 AM	#13
vsop44 Veteran Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: On an icefloe off the atlantic coast of Canada Posts: 1,095	Obviously Adam never participated in the exciting experiment of navel Gazing !!!!

07-03-2005, 05:29 PM	#19
Roland Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: California Posts: 748	And how were Adam and Eve able to walk around naked in a lush tropical garden when just a few days prior to their creation, the sun didn't yet exist, making the temperature at the surface of the earth something close to Absolute Zero?

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