MonCapitan2002

I can't help you, unfortunately. I wouldn't be able to attract a mate no matter how hard I tried.

Marching Folly

Probably not if that's your attitude. Sounds like a catch-22.

MonCapitan2002

I know. I know. It is just hard for me to slough off the defeatist attitude. I tried asking a woman out recently and was rejected. I am still disappointed by that.

PoodleLovinPessimist

Bah. You have to make the Salesman's calculation. If you get ten "No's" for each "Yes", then every "No" is one-tenth of a "Yes". So every time you get a "No", think, "Woo hoo! I just got one-tenth of a girlfriend!"

MonCapitan2002

That is an interesting outlook to have. I do not think I have a sufficiently thick skin to handle 99 rejections.

PoodleLovinPessimist

Thicken it up, mon ami Capitan. It's a tough world out there.

And, if all else fails, lower your standards.

MonCapitan2002

Lowering my standards is not something I would not do. If I were only interested in casual sex, I probably would. However, seeing as how I have zero interest in that, I would not lower my standards. I would rather have deferred long lasting satisfaction with someone worth the effort of getting to know than the cheap thrill casual sex with strangers provides. In other words, if I do not care deeply for the woman, then the dangly bits are not going to come out and play.

Bad Kitty

I'm not trying to be snarky here, but don't you get tired of typing variations of this phrase over and over? You may not mean to, but at a certain point it comes off as way too self-pitying --- and also as if you are begging for someone to constantly contradict and reassure you.

I only mention it because these may not be your intentions and you may not realize how you're sounding. :huh:

PoodleLovinPessimist

There are other ways to lower your standards. For instance, you can look for women who are, shall we say, farther away from the canonical idea of physical perfection. Looks are overrated anyway wrt the quality of one's relationship and sexuality.

Queen of Swords

Speaking for myself, there's more to it than the defeatist attitude, but that's definitely a stumbling block. No woman wants to feel that she ended up with someone who was self-denigrating and unable to attract anyone. Why not try to focus on positives, rather than negatives?