HelenM

I hope so too, hd.

From all you have said I wonder if both of the following are true:

1) Your husband has and is treating you badly
2) You have symptoms which indicate you have Bipolar disorcer

I sense that you are reacting against the idea that you have a mental illness and therefore your husband's behavior is excusable. But you know what? Even if you do have an illness, it is absolutely wrong for him to treat you badly. But, see, you might make more progress if you took the position "Ok, maybe I have Bipolar disorder, but my husband still shouldn't treat me that way." I'm concerned that you focusing on saying you aren't ill distracts from dealing with what bothers you about your husband's behavior of you. It could be that you'd make more progress in addressing the way he behaves towards you that you don't like, if you - for now - decided not to argue about whether you have Bipolar or not.

It's just a thought. After all, if you're going to 'play the game', why not play it that way in order to work on your marriage conflict?

You too

Helen

HelenM

hd,

What I am saying is - if you want to try to make your marriage better, then only way might be to agree to take medication consistently, for now at least, because otherwise your not taking it will be a continual distraction that gets in the way of your marriage issues being focused on and dealt with.

That's how it is, in my experience. It might be that you have a choice between having a decent marriage and refusing treatment and if so, I hope that you are consciously making the choice you make.

Helen

hope's daughter

Helen,

You have my thinking exactly but mine is with a twist. I will take the medication but I tell my husband (and maybe you will not agree) that it is a placebo to me. I do this because I do not accept the original diagnosis. If I accepted the original diagnosis than that would negate certain aspects of my faith and I might just end up an atheist...maybe to the glee of some here. Faith is not just subjective as you know but also objective. I wish I could go into more depth but I must start my day. I think to answer Soul's post though would be a good place to shed more light on matters and supplant some things firmly into place. So I will be back...and try to formulate an answer to the questions he possed. I am not without hope Helen. Our words met and I feel fortunate that they did.

God bless and be back later...

HelenM

I tried saying something like that a long time ago and we got into a big fight about it. So I decided it wasn't a good idea to say that.

What I say now is I'm not sure whether it works or not.

Fair enough - but maybe we could talk about this more when you have time because I don't see why accepting the diagnosis would negate your faith. I can see why you'd be very against accepting it if it did mean that. But I don't see why it has to.

I mean, setting aside the diagnosis, think about any Christian. Sometimes they pray for things and God doesn't give them those things. Sometimes they have bad and/or difficult and/or hurtful things happen to them. Does it negate their faith? Not for those who trust that God has a reason for everything, who trust that God is good - which I think describes your faith, doesn't it?

So - why would having a diagnosis negate your faith? Think about this - Jesus was God's son and he had to suffer and die on the cross. God certainly loved Jesus, so that tells us it's not true that being known and loved by God guarantees we'll never suffer. And I'd put having a diagnosis into the category of 'suffering', myself.

Ok, I'll see you later then

Helen

Corona688

Similar, but different reasons... The [b]only[b/] fair way for the government to handle it is to be completely neutral. I'd imagine most of us wouldn't want Jehovah's Witnesses trying to legislate our religious beliefs for us; nor would Jehovah's Witnesses want the United States Government in charge of their religion.

Here, religion is the subject of intense and sometimes quite personal debates, and it's not a good idea to begin one unless very thoroughly prepared.

CheeseheadHeathen

HD--you don't know me, but I've been watching this thread unfold for days now. It's been really, really hard to read some of this, because I am going through a situation that helps me see things differently than you do--through the eyes of your family.

I have a family member who is suffering from a mental illness (not bipolar, but something similar). He's had this illness for a couple of years now, but since last spring things have gotten much, much worse. The reason for that is this: he doesn't believe that he has an illness. It's a sick kind of irony that one of the characteristics of his illness is a vehement denial that he needs help.

We've tried very, very hard to help him. We've tried talking to him, having other people talk to him, etc. We tried getting him to voluntarily enter a hospital (he did, but only for a couple of days, and then he checked himself out). When he did some things that made us fear for his and others' safety, we, as a last resort, went to court to get him involuntarily committed...and now he's in the hospital.

HD, I can't even find the words to express how difficult this all has been...because we love him, very much. We don't want to hurt him. I think the toughest thing any of us have ever done was testify in court that we felt he needed help against his will. Trust me, if we didn't love him, we NEVER would have put ourselves through all that.

What has struck me about your posts is that you sound very much like him in one regard...he believes that we've done these things to "get back at him," "play games with him" etc. I fear that he believes we don't love him, when the fact is we've done these things BECAUSE we love him.

I don't know your family, but I want you to consider the possibility that your family is in the same situation. Calling the EMTs...going to probate court...trust me, these things are incredibly difficult to do. It's an emotionally wrenching experience...one that most people would want to avoid. I don't know for sure, but I strongly suspect that your family wouldn't put themselves or you through that kind of thing if they didn't love you and REALLY think you need some help. Although they're not perfect and they may have done some things wrong, it sounds to me like they love you very much.

I really hope that you find the peace that you need, wherever that may be.

hope's daughter

Cheeseheadheathen,

You have an unusual sign-in name. I wish I could explain all of my situation to you because than you could see that I can validate what I have stated by including some of the actions by my family. I will just say that the EMT's were called to my home to make me take a medication with my name on the bottle and I am 42. The EMT's were called after my husband and I started counseling. 3 men (and I do not like to write this) ganged up verbally and physically on me and the next day EMT's were called. I have not even gotten acknowledgement from my husband that he allowed his sons to do this to their mother. I feared that there would be violence from their side in my home. There is more to it than that but I don't want to hurt my family but at the same time they drove me to the brink of insanity. I thought because the police would not help me that they would end up shooting me. I will tell you that I do not know what to think about all this. Prior to these things I loved my husband and our relationship had gotten difficult but that is why I was seeking counseling. I think he did not want certain things to come out in counseling and that is why he did what he did. I had not been no where near a hospital for ten years. Worked incredibly stressful jobs and been on these message boards which can get quite hairy with unbelievers at times. please do not pass a judgment and think you can neatly tie this up with a bow and call this a manic episode. This is what my husband wishes people to think. Yes his wife is nuts but he is the rational one.

p.s. Maybe it would help if I explain to you why I wouyld not take the medicine from my husband. Because I am tired of him giving me orders and commands and talking to me like I am a piece of furniture. Long story....I want counseling and he wanted to show me who was boss so he called emts and police. They wanted to take me to the hospital. He was causing the disruption not me.

hope's daughter

I don't back down from no one. Just make sure you want to tangle. I have been told I have a tongue of a viper and and I am a wolf in sheeps clothing.

hope's daughter

Guys I really don't like talking about these issues because they are private and my family have been hurt by them. I appreciate your advice and help but found that almost two years ago I was on another website and shared some beautiful things about my family and my life and the people there were very callous and mean even though they professed Christianity. These people meant to do harm and hurt myself and thought I would roll over and die to but I did not. Many of these people ganged up on me but I would not leave the site because I felt that a person could actually witness over the internet and make a difference. I do not think these people will ever forget hope's daughter. I have found acceptance here probably more acceptance in the short time I have been here and better manners than the places I first named when I came here. That is why I named them guys. You have a good thing here so don't go to these other places. You don't need to. I am here.

sakrilege

Nobody deserves to be treated like this, I hope things work out for you. I would suggest you find a doctor to your own liking that can help you sort things out.