Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Chris Weimer · 08-24-2005, 06:25 PM

Sorry, I couldn't contain myself. I have living proof that Juvenal in his very first satire prophesied my existence. That makes his book the True Word™ and his message divine.

Here's the text (lines 133-137):

votaque deponunt, quamquam longissima cenae
spes homini; caulis miseris atque ignis emendus.
optima silvarum interea pelagique vorabit
rex horum vacuisque toris tantum ipse iacebit.
nam de tot pulchris et latis orbibus et tam

I was working on this, when I saw my name "chris" and I thought, "Surely Jove is channeling me here!" So then I thought, "Well, if I'm the right Chris, surely my last name is in the text also." And it is! Of course, speaking Latin, Juvenal wouldn't know how to correctly pronounce my name as a whole, but probably hide it in key words. So I took my lucky number (25) and found the square root (5) and then went lines upwards to line 133. I was shocked to find that the first and last (alpha and omega) letters are v (pronounced w) and ae (pronounced ei in German). And in the very next line, in the very middle of the sentence, you have the rest! In the word miseris, it contains m, is, er, and is again! The two is's were more proof that it IS my name. Put it together and you get Vaimer (pronounced Weimer!).

I am the living proof of Zeus's omnipotence. Heck I was probably begotten by him as well (I don't necessarily look like my "father"). How else do you explain my differences from my family besides being divine.

Besides my name, there are also my characteristics too. I have a longissima mentula. I am a man (homini). I was miserable (miseris) before, but now that I'm your savior I am optimus. And to top it off, my girlfriend says I am pulcher. How else can you explain the text but by me!

Now all I need is some disciples. How about 12 for the 12 tribes of Israel? Nah, already taken. How about 15 for the remaining satires? Yeah!

Who wants to be the aborted apostle? :angel:

Tony238 · 08-24-2005, 10:08 PM

OOOHH ooooohhh pick me pick me *Waving hand in air* ooooohhh ooooohhh
Mr .Weimer ooooohhh ooooohhh :Cheeky:

jaded_revenge · 08-24-2005, 11:54 PM

Can I be the apostle that acts all nice then back stabs you?

Chris Weimer · 08-26-2005, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaded_revenge

Can I be the apostle that acts all nice then back stabs you?

Only if you promise not to betray me to people who wish to kill me. (Hrm...martyrdom...) :Cheeky:

jonesg · 08-26-2005, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Weimer

Sorry, I couldn't contain myself. I have living proof that Juvenal in his very first satire prophesied my existence. That makes his book the True Word™ and his message divine.
l:

If you're ever in the Boston area bring 3 nails and be my guest.

I'll put you up for the night.
ouch ouch ouch!

Ben C Smith · 08-26-2005, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Weimer

Only if you promise not to betray me to people who wish to kill me.

To whom would you like to be betrayed? To people who wish to offer you back massages and jelly doughnuts?

Chris Weimer · 08-26-2005, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben C Smith

To whom would you like to be betrayed? To people who wish to offer you back massages and jelly doughnuts?

Only if those offering are hot asian women.

Toto · 08-26-2005, 03:36 PM

I think it's time. . . off to Humor.

Chris Weimer · 08-26-2005, 06:37 PM

Darn, I was hoping to get to the comparisons between the Bible Code and Juvenal, but I guess no takers.

08-24-2005, 06:25 PM	#1
Chris Weimer Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: none Posts: 9,879	The Sacred Book of Juvenal Prophesied Me! Sorry, I couldn't contain myself. I have living proof that Juvenal in his very first satire prophesied my existence. That makes his book the True Word™ and his message divine. Here's the text (lines 133-137): votaque deponunt, quamquam longissima cenae spes homini; caulis miseris atque ignis emendus. optima silvarum interea pelagique vorabit rex horum vacuisque toris tantum ipse iacebit. nam de tot pulchris et latis orbibus et tam I was working on this, when I saw my name "chris" and I thought, "Surely Jove is channeling me here!" So then I thought, "Well, if I'm the right Chris, surely my last name is in the text also." And it is! Of course, speaking Latin, Juvenal wouldn't know how to correctly pronounce my name as a whole, but probably hide it in key words. So I took my lucky number (25) and found the square root (5) and then went lines upwards to line 133. I was shocked to find that the first and last (alpha and omega) letters are v (pronounced w) and ae (pronounced ei in German). And in the very next line, in the very middle of the sentence, you have the rest! In the word miseris, it contains m, is, er, and is again! The two is's were more proof that it IS my name. Put it together and you get Vaimer (pronounced Weimer!). I am the living proof of Zeus's omnipotence. Heck I was probably begotten by him as well (I don't necessarily look like my "father"). How else do you explain my differences from my family besides being divine. Besides my name, there are also my characteristics too. I have a longissima mentula. I am a man (homini). I was miserable (miseris) before, but now that I'm your savior I am optimus. And to top it off, my girlfriend says I am pulcher. How else can you explain the text but by me! Now all I need is some disciples. How about 12 for the 12 tribes of Israel? Nah, already taken. How about 15 for the remaining satires? Yeah! Who wants to be the aborted apostle? :angel:

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08-24-2005, 10:08 PM	#2
Tony238 Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Lloydminster,Alberta, Canada Posts: 120	OOOHH ooooohhh pick me pick me Waving hand in air ooooohhh ooooohhh Mr .Weimer ooooohhh ooooohhh :Cheeky:

08-24-2005, 11:54 PM	#3
jaded_revenge Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia, Canberra Posts: 2,662	Can I be the apostle that acts all nice then back stabs you?

08-26-2005, 03:36 PM	#8
Toto Contributor Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Los Angeles area Posts: 40,549	I think it's time. . . off to Humor.

08-26-2005, 06:37 PM	#9
Chris Weimer Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: none Posts: 9,879	Darn, I was hoping to get to the comparisons between the Bible Code and Juvenal, but I guess no takers.

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