Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Spanish Hemingway · 12-30-2003, 05:15 PM

So I started dating a couple new chicks recently. Of course both are cute, and ultimately insane.

Chick # 1 - a 21-year-old college student. Basically, she's a clean freak. If I take her bra off and throw it on the floor, she'll get out of bed and put it on the couch. I'm like, "WTF? I just cleaned the floor, honey." She also insists on both of us taking showers right after sex and she won't let me eat after I touch money. Also, she loves to go down on my shwanz and stare at me and lick it like an ice cream for like 15 minutes. She's a nut and very naughty.

Chick # 2 - an 18-year-old high school senior. This chick is a virgin, and she had never done anything but kiss one dude. Fast forward a month and I got this chick buck naked in my bed, ready. But here's the trippy part. She started avoiding my kisses a few weeks ago. I was like, "WTF.. she doesn't like me anymore...doesn't want to kiss me?... bad breath?" So I asked her why she was avoiding the kisses. She said, "But I want you to show me how manly you are." "By forcing you?" She said yes. So, I grabbed her and made her kiss me, and she resisted. Afterwards she said, "I didn't know you were so manly! It's great!" I was like, "WTF?" Now her new thing is that she wants me to basically rape her! She wants to resist and I should force her to do stuff. That's sounds like some shit that could lead to trouble for me, bro. I don't know about all this.

I am beginning to conclude that all chicks are bonkers.

variant 13 · 12-30-2003, 05:27 PM

You're a virgin aren't you.

Celluloid Sunburn · 12-30-2003, 05:27 PM

Hmmmm... are these invisible, pink chicks?

RevDahlia · 12-30-2003, 05:55 PM

Not you again...

Spanish Hemingway · 12-30-2003, 06:10 PM

LOL at not believing me.

It's not like this is some impossible dream I have laid out above -- more like normal life for most people. Maybe some of YOU need to re-examine your lives if you think my crazy chicks dilema is some enviable "fantasy" that I dreamed up...

GunnerJ · 12-30-2003, 06:30 PM

Tsk, tsk, not starting the OP with a "Dear Penthouse..." Poor form.

lunachick · 12-30-2003, 06:45 PM

ROFLMAO!!!

Godot · 12-30-2003, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Celluloid Sunburn
Hmmmm... are these invisible, pink chicks?

No, no, no. The unicorn is pink. The chicks are a myriad of pastel hues.

ju'iblex · 12-30-2003, 06:48 PM

last time i checked, useless sex-life threads go to the pit. In the pit!

KoopaFanatic · 12-30-2003, 08:02 PM

Y'know, I'm willing to give the guy a few points for use of the word(?) "shwanz." There'll always be a place in my heart for silly penis names.

12-30-2003, 05:15 PM	#1
Spanish Hemingway Banned Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: spain Posts: 19	I Have 2 Crazy New Girlfriends... So I started dating a couple new chicks recently. Of course both are cute, and ultimately insane. Chick # 1 - a 21-year-old college student. Basically, she's a clean freak. If I take her bra off and throw it on the floor, she'll get out of bed and put it on the couch. I'm like, "WTF? I just cleaned the floor, honey." She also insists on both of us taking showers right after sex and she won't let me eat after I touch money. Also, she loves to go down on my shwanz and stare at me and lick it like an ice cream for like 15 minutes. She's a nut and very naughty. Chick # 2 - an 18-year-old high school senior. This chick is a virgin, and she had never done anything but kiss one dude. Fast forward a month and I got this chick buck naked in my bed, ready. But here's the trippy part. She started avoiding my kisses a few weeks ago. I was like, "WTF.. she doesn't like me anymore...doesn't want to kiss me?... bad breath?" So I asked her why she was avoiding the kisses. She said, "But I want you to show me how manly you are." "By forcing you?" She said yes. So, I grabbed her and made her kiss me, and she resisted. Afterwards she said, "I didn't know you were so manly! It's great!" I was like, "WTF?" Now her new thing is that she wants me to basically rape her! She wants to resist and I should force her to do stuff. That's sounds like some shit that could lead to trouble for me, bro. I don't know about all this. I am beginning to conclude that all chicks are bonkers.

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12-30-2003, 05:27 PM	#2
variant 13 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: no where, uk Posts: 4,677	You're a virgin aren't you.

12-30-2003, 05:27 PM	#3
Celluloid Sunburn Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Seattle Posts: 49	Hmmmm... are these invisible, pink chicks?

12-30-2003, 05:55 PM	#4
RevDahlia Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Austin, TX, USA Posts: 4,930	Not you again...

12-30-2003, 06:10 PM	#5
Spanish Hemingway Banned Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: spain Posts: 19	LOL at not believing me. It's not like this is some impossible dream I have laid out above -- more like normal life for most people. Maybe some of YOU need to re-examine your lives if you think my crazy chicks dilema is some enviable "fantasy" that I dreamed up...

12-30-2003, 06:30 PM	#6
GunnerJ Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: a place where i can list whatever location i want Posts: 4,871	Tsk, tsk, not starting the OP with a "Dear Penthouse..." Poor form.

12-30-2003, 06:45 PM	#7
lunachick Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: NZ Posts: 7,895	ROFLMAO!!!

12-30-2003, 06:48 PM	#9
ju'iblex Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Sydney Australia and beyond the realms of Gehenna Posts: 6,035	last time i checked, useless sex-life threads go to the pit. In the pit!

12-30-2003, 08:02 PM	#10
KoopaFanatic Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,867	Y'know, I'm willing to give the guy a few points for use of the word(?) "shwanz." There'll always be a place in my heart for silly penis names.

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