Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Ron Garrett · 02-18-2005, 06:11 AM

:devil1: More Highlights from Humanity's March to Medievalism :devil3:

Obviously the time is ripe to begin offering online courses in nerf herding, unicorn horn grinding and munchkin hair styling.

From the LA Times this morning:

Quote:

The Roman Catholic Church is facing a shortage you may not have heard about: qualified exorcists. And so, on Thursday about 100 priests stood, prayed for protection, then sat down to begin an eight-week study of how to distinguish and fight demonic possession. The course at Rome's prestigious Regina Apostolorum Pontifical Athenaeum, represents the first time a Vatican- sanctioned course in exorcism is being offered at this level.

Exorcism — the use of prayer to rid a person or place of the devil or demonic spirits — has its roots in early Christianity. It fell out of favor in the 18th century, after the Enlightenment and advances in science and philosophy. But in the last few decades it has experienced something of a revival, in part because of Pope John Paul II's belief that Satan is a real presence in daily life who must be battled.

Nowhere is the shortage of exorcists considered more serious than in the U.S., where skepticism about the practice abounds. There are fewer than a dozen official exorcists at U.S. dioceses, and it is a topic most American priests seem to avoid.

Father Christopher Barak traveled from his headquarters in Lincoln, Neb., to Rome to attend the course. Priests in Nebraska have recently heard troubling accounts from parishioners, including unexplained noises in homes and sightings of ghostlike figures, he said.

Capn_Danger · 02-18-2005, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron Garrett

:devil1: More Highlights from Humanity's March to Medievalism :devil3:

Obviously the time is ripe to begin offering online courses in nerf herding, unicorn horn grinding and munchkin hair styling.

Oh man. I had thought, for some odd reason, that we were making some sort of progress.

Quote:

Priests in Nebraska have recently heard troubling accounts from parishioners, including unexplained noises in homes and sightings of ghostlike figures, he said.

You've got to be kidding me. "Unexplained noises in homes"? Yeah, old homes never make odd noises that can't be explained except in terms of supernatural visitors. The scary thing is that grown adults really believe this stuff: "No, it just sounds like the old wood in my house is creaking under the stress of being alternately heated and cooled in the winter; but it's really a ghost pretending to make my floorboards expand and contract. :banghead: If I didn't have to live in moderate proximity to these sort of people, it'd be funny.

I'll guess there's nothing to do now but get out my garlic and silver bullets, and set schedule some time for a good ol' fashioned witch-burning. Anyone know where I can get an electrically operated rack? I tried Sears, but they had just sold out... :Cheeky:

Lord Umbra · 02-18-2005, 08:57 AM

Good grief, Charlie Brown!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this.

This is one of those times I'm soooo glad I'm an atheist! How embarrassing to be linked with such knuckleheads!

But should we REALLY be surprised? After all it was the church that invented the myths of the devil, "Dracula" and "witches".

Truly sad. I would pray for them to get a clue, but I don't believe in prayer either! :rolling:

Pendaric · 02-18-2005, 09:01 AM

Welcome to the board, Lord Umbra.

The Exorcist is one of my favourite movies.

Clivedurdle · 02-18-2005, 10:17 AM

Isn't all this anti satan stuff soooo politically incorrect?

I mean, where is the understanding of his childhood, what led him into such despicable ways? I blame the parents - who were they by the way?

ArchAngel · 02-18-2005, 11:18 PM

I wonder if watching Constantine is part of the training?

Ron Garrett · 02-21-2005, 08:26 AM

I once interrupted an exorcism attempt by some fundies who couldn't recognize cerebral palsy when they saw it. The problem with primitives is they interpret everything through their make believe world view. Creaking floors become "mysterious noises." Every natural occurence becomes an invisible hand. Remember, these people see themselves as the center of the universe for which angels and demons are battling in invisible realms. they are so cosmically important that every event in their lives must be supernatural and pregnant with eternal meaning. So it can't just be a loose floorboard. It has to be demons tramping through the house. It can't just be lights from passing cars shining through the shades. It has to be UFOs circling the house. It can't just be an insurance salesman with cheap hubcaps, It has to be government agents of the anti-Christ keeping track of them.

For all their talk of humility, the Christian's world view is that of a megalomaniac.

Jobar · 02-21-2005, 02:36 PM

I bet this news will make Dougie Bender happy. (For those who weren't around then, Douglas claimed to have heard demons walking on his roof- you can look up his posts if you want to see stuff from one of II's Top Ten Weird Theists.) Now when he hears demons on his roof, he'll have someone to call!

Triple Six · 02-21-2005, 03:07 PM

And to further help the unstoppable charge backwards, between nappy changes the senile fool that is the head of the RCC announced another 5 saints this week.

Another catholics here prepared to defend this upsurge of ignorant superstition that is being promoted by their church recently?

Javaman · 02-21-2005, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capn_Danger

"Unexplained noises in homes"? Yeah, old homes never make odd noises that can't be explained except in terms of supernatural visitors.

Hell, our house was built in 1995 and, with the temperature extremes we have here, our house (though well built) practically sings now. Of all the places I've lived in the world, this is the noisiest in term of homes.

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02-18-2005, 08:57 AM	#3
Lord Umbra Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montana Posts: 66	Good grief, Charlie Brown! I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this. This is one of those times I'm soooo glad I'm an atheist! How embarrassing to be linked with such knuckleheads! But should we REALLY be surprised? After all it was the church that invented the myths of the devil, "Dracula" and "witches". Truly sad. I would pray for them to get a clue, but I don't believe in prayer either! :rolling:

02-18-2005, 09:01 AM	#4
Pendaric Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle. Posts: 3,715	Welcome to the board, Lord Umbra. The Exorcist is one of my favourite movies.

02-18-2005, 10:17 AM	#5
Clivedurdle Contributor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: London UK Posts: 16,024	Isn't all this anti satan stuff soooo politically incorrect? I mean, where is the understanding of his childhood, what led him into such despicable ways? I blame the parents - who were they by the way?

02-18-2005, 11:18 PM	#6
ArchAngel Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: USA Posts: 164	I wonder if watching Constantine is part of the training?

02-21-2005, 08:26 AM	#7
Ron Garrett Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: United States Posts: 1,657	I once interrupted an exorcism attempt by some fundies who couldn't recognize cerebral palsy when they saw it. The problem with primitives is they interpret everything through their make believe world view. Creaking floors become "mysterious noises." Every natural occurence becomes an invisible hand. Remember, these people see themselves as the center of the universe for which angels and demons are battling in invisible realms. they are so cosmically important that every event in their lives must be supernatural and pregnant with eternal meaning. So it can't just be a loose floorboard. It has to be demons tramping through the house. It can't just be lights from passing cars shining through the shades. It has to be UFOs circling the house. It can't just be an insurance salesman with cheap hubcaps, It has to be government agents of the anti-Christ keeping track of them. For all their talk of humility, the Christian's world view is that of a megalomaniac.

02-21-2005, 02:36 PM	#8
Jobar Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: secularcafe.org Posts: 9,525	I bet this news will make Dougie Bender happy. (For those who weren't around then, Douglas claimed to have heard demons walking on his roof- you can look up his posts if you want to see stuff from one of II's Top Ten Weird Theists.) Now when he hears demons on his roof, he'll have someone to call!

02-21-2005, 03:07 PM	#9
Triple Six Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: formerly Lae, Papua New Guinea Posts: 1,867	And to further help the unstoppable charge backwards, between nappy changes the senile fool that is the head of the RCC announced another 5 saints this week. Another catholics here prepared to defend this upsurge of ignorant superstition that is being promoted by their church recently?

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