Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Agnostic Theist · 02-22-2005, 10:18 AM

1. A guinea pig won't demand child support

2. A guinea won't keep asking 'What have you done for me lately'

3. When you buy your guinea a present it won't demand to know who the 'other woman/pig is'

4. Guinea pigs can't speak up about you buggering them without consent in court.

5. Guineas won't blow your cash on shoes

6. Guineas are far more interesting conversationalists than women

7. Guineas don't skew everything you say

8. Guineas tend not to have jealous ex-boyfriends who have just escaped from Armley Nick

9. Guineas don't do this:

Woman: Do you love me?

Man: Y'wot?

Woman: I ASKED IF YOU LOVE ME! BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY WEREN'T LISTENING COS YOU DON'T CARE!

Alternatively:

Man: I love you

Woman: Why? What have you done?

Man: Nothing, I

Woman: Who is she?

Man: Alright I don't love you! Fuck off!

10. If guineas were ever to get on the rag, they sure as fuck wouldn't moan about it

IamMoose · 02-26-2005, 09:11 AM

Using Agnostic's reasoning ,we should all trade our SO's in for pet rocks

socratoad · 02-26-2005, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agnostic Beast

2. A guinea won't keep asking 'What have you done for me lately'

This has not been my experience.

Xulfer Cirtsag · 02-27-2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamMoose

Using Agnostic's reasoning ,we should all trade our SO's in for pet rocks

Yeah, it does sound rock-solid, doesn't it?

IamMoose · 03-03-2005, 07:50 AM

Here is a very wistful looking and rather portly cat.

Xulfer Cirtsag · 03-03-2005, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamMoose

Here is a very wistful looking and rather portly cat.

What does that have anything to do with guinea pigs?

If we're going to change species, I move that we change to some sort of ungulate. Ungulates rock.

IamMoose · 03-03-2005, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gastric ReFlux

What does that have anything to do with guinea pigs?

If we're going to change species, I move that we change to some sort of ungulate. Ungulates rock.

What's an ungulate? And what's wrong with my ever so wistful and undeniably portly cat?

Xulfer Cirtsag · 03-03-2005, 08:09 AM

You, my dear, or deer, are an ungulate. So why don't you ponder that for hoof a moment or two?

IamMoose · 03-03-2005, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gastric ReFlux

You, my dear, or deer, are an ungulate. So why don't you ponder that for hoof a moment or two?

I am?? *wonders whether to be proud or mortified*

Xulfer Cirtsag · 03-03-2005, 08:15 AM

It appears my clues were too subtle.

http://www.ultimateungulate.com/

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02-22-2005, 10:18 AM	#321
Agnostic Theist Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Posts: 4,822	1. A guinea pig won't demand child support 2. A guinea won't keep asking 'What have you done for me lately' 3. When you buy your guinea a present it won't demand to know who the 'other woman/pig is' 4. Guinea pigs can't speak up about you buggering them without consent in court. 5. Guineas won't blow your cash on shoes 6. Guineas are far more interesting conversationalists than women 7. Guineas don't skew everything you say 8. Guineas tend not to have jealous ex-boyfriends who have just escaped from Armley Nick 9. Guineas don't do this: Woman: Do you love me? Man: Y'wot? Woman: I ASKED IF YOU LOVE ME! BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY WEREN'T LISTENING COS YOU DON'T CARE! Alternatively: Man: I love you Woman: Why? What have you done? Man: Nothing, I Woman: Who is she? Man: Alright I don't love you! Fuck off! 10. If guineas were ever to get on the rag, they sure as fuck wouldn't moan about it

02-26-2005, 09:11 AM	#322
IamMoose Veteran Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: On the fringes of the Lake District, UK Posts: 9,528	Using Agnostic's reasoning ,we should all trade our SO's in for pet rocks

03-03-2005, 07:50 AM	#325
IamMoose Veteran Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: On the fringes of the Lake District, UK Posts: 9,528	Here is a very wistful looking and rather portly cat.

03-03-2005, 08:09 AM	#328
Xulfer Cirtsag Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: no, not there, try again Posts: 1,752	You, my dear, or deer, are an ungulate. So why don't you ponder that for hoof a moment or two?

03-03-2005, 08:15 AM	#330
Xulfer Cirtsag Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: no, not there, try again Posts: 1,752	It appears my clues were too subtle. http://www.ultimateungulate.com/

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