brighid

Jeffrey,

I am sorry to hear that you are in so much pain, but you have been given some excellent advise. The here and now IS ALL we know we have. There is no guarantee that you, or anyone else, will live beyond this moment. Therefore, imo, you must simply live the life you have, and life it to the fullest.

Maybe there is an afterlife. No one has actually come back from the great beyond to tell us what REALLY is or is not there.

What we do know is that death is a natural part of life, and a necessary part of life. Everything dies. Even our own sun will someday cease to give life to our planet. I use to believe in an afterlife. I hope there is an afterlife, because the thought is comforting. However, I am doubtful I will exist in any recognizable form once I breathe my last breath.

Take your time with the deconversion process. Mine took years. I was born and raised Catholic, became a liberal Christian, then a Deist, a pagan and finally an atheist (although I consider myself a secular pagan, but that is for another discussion.)

Explore our libraries, as they are vast, informative and a well-spring of knowledge.

Death will happen, and if this life is the only one we can be sure of, it makes no sense wasting it through worry and heartache caused by the "unknown", or "what if." Live a good, moral life and if there is an afterlife and any sort of perfectly moral God your soul will be safe, regardless of what theists will tell you. Common sense dictates that a morally perfect God could not condemn an honest atheist for nothing but a lack of belief.

Know you are not alone, and try to learn to appreciate the beauty in life.

Brighid

sbaii

If you're talking about choosing your own afterlife, I say whatever gets you through this transition time. It's hard to come cold turkey off a religion that took over so much of your waking thoughts and emotions. If you know what you don't like about the god of the Old Testament or the whole Bible, then you can try out buddhism or some new age religion. If you are feeling suicidal, I'd advise that you see a therapist. After all, if this is all there is, you don't want to shorten your time or be miserable all the time. There are plenty of people here who have been through what you're going through.
I became an agnostic some time while in college after being propagandized by the R.Catholic church since infancy. I have struggled with the loss of an afterlife. I guess it just seemed another childish idea to put aside. Maybe my existential trauma is yet to come.

one ryder

Jeffery,

It really sounds as if you need some professional help. At least to get you through the initial stages of your deconversion. You're displaying symptoms of clinical depression. There are people who are trained to help you cope with your feelings of hopelessness and fear, and who can offer positive methods for replacing them with hope and confidence. Find one soon. You don't need to try to deal with this struggle alone. Trust me, I've been there...

one ryder

Primordial Groove

You dont die. You convert. Granted, your conversion is nothing to write home to mom about, but, your energy keeps going..in one form or another.
You could look into cryonics. Although, at this stage, it's not real promising on bringing you back, but hey, scientific knowledge grows every day. Perhaps one will bring you back from your corpscicle state.

Cheer up man. Death depression sux. I still have days when it is almost overwhelming, but, I look at my family and think of the limited time we will be together and I do something to make the time memorable. This always helps me through.

Zygote

A favorite tale of my childhood involved a mortal visiting an afterlife. People who died could stay there as long as something they had made survived back in the world of the living. A man was there because the house that he had built was still standing, but his wife was not, because the meals she made were all eaten up and nothing was ever left. I weave partly so that my woven work will outlast me and bring pleasure or inspiration even after I am gone.

We live on in the hearts and minds of those who outlive us, as well as in the tangible works we leave behind. And even if our names are forgotten, the consequences of our efforts, our work, our kindess will continue to affect generations to come.

My grandfather said that we are each like a stone thrown into a pool. The ripples it causes move out in ever widening circles and continue to affect the surface of the pond long after the stone itself has dropped out of sight. Live the life you have and try to leave good ripples.

sbaii

Zygote: So your nice heart-waarming story implies that few women have an after life because the children they birthed and/or raised don't count as lasting works. I guess we should all start working in marble.

Zygote

Personally, I don't believe in any sort of an "afterlife." Memories of the deceased remain in those who survive them. Physical mementos help stimulate and preserve those memories. The ripples that women set in motion in their childrearing will long outlast them. Whether a name is attributed to that influence depends, in part, on other artifacts being left behind.

I liked the fable because it pointed a way to being remembered. I've never been much of one for bowing to gender expectations. My response to the fable was not one of "Oh shoot, I'm female, I'll be forgotten." It was more like "Cool, I'd rather build than cook anyway." If cooking or something else ephemeral is your shtick and you want to be remembered, write a book, even if it is handwritten and never goes beyond your own family.

I don't condone the phenomenon of women being more often forgotten, I only report it. As my daughter's favorite button says "Well behaved women seldom make history."