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Old 12-03-2009, 06:04 AM   #41
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Sorry about that. I figured the article was somewhere on the forums, but couldn't find it.
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Old 12-03-2009, 07:30 PM   #42
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I noticed that Revelation has been "translated." Some of it is puzzling:

Quote:
KJV:

The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:

Conservapedia:
The Revelation from Jesus Christ. God gave this to Him, to show to His slaves the things that must happen without delay. He then sent it, signed by His Messenger, to his slave, John,
Angel is consistently rendered as "messenger" which is accurate, but gives a slightly different flavor at times.

The third horseman has been reconfigured from famine to "economic depression" because in the free market, there are no shortages:

Quote:
A dry quart makes a loaf. The "shilling" is the Roman denarius, equivalent to a day's pay for a typical wage-earner. The third horseman of the Apocalypse is economic depression so severe that it takes a full day's work to earn a day's meals
Some of the changes are just weird:

Quote:
KJV
And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.

Conservapedia
The name of the star was Absinthe. One-third of the waters were turned into absinthe. Many men died from the waters, because they became bitter.

Conservative comment:
The actual Greek name is Αψινθος (Apsinthos). Absinthe is a known neurotoxin, which is why it is today a completely illegal drug. According to legend, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt took absinthe, though in very small amounts
Quote:
KJV
And when the seven thunders had uttered their voices, I was about to write: and I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Seal up those things which the seven thunders uttered, and write them not.

Conservapedia:
I was about to write down what the seven thunders had said, but then I heard a voice out of heaven telling me, "Those things that the thunders said are classified. Don't write them down."

Comment:
This is the second instance in the Biblical record of an Apostle receiving Heavenly classified information and being told not to repeat it. The first was when Paul describes his visit to the Third Heaven.
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Old 12-03-2009, 07:46 PM   #43
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Conservoparody:

Mark 16:8 They went out and fled from the tomb, for trembling and astonishment had gripped them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid it was classified and they had signed a non-disclosure clause....

Truly with this new Bible we are in an age of wonders.


Gregg
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:17 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toto View Post
I noticed that Revelation has been "translated." Some of it is puzzling:

Angel is consistently rendered as "messenger" which is accurate, but gives a slightly different flavor at times.
I think that is the only good idea I have seen in this absurd project. Since the Greek uses the perfectly ordinary word for messenger, the translation "angel" can give people a strange idea about what the text says. The "angel of the church in x" should be the "messenger of the congregation in x" since John seems to have been instructed to send the letters to human beings.

The wormwood interpretation is bizarre. The obvious feature of wormwood is its intense bitterness. Anyone who has ever tasted wormwood tea (I have) would know just how bitter it is.

Peter
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:26 PM   #45
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From Philemon:

Quote:
KJV:
Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and Timothy our brother, unto Philemon our dearly beloved, and fellowlabourer,

Conservapedia:
Paul, in prison for Jesus Christ, and our brother Timothy, say to our friend and fellow volunteer Philemon,

Comment:
"fellowlabourer" is misleading today, and falsely connotes socialism
Socialism?? And volunteer does not connote some sort of anti-free market activity?
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:36 PM   #46
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And what's this about:

Quote:
KJV
And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.

Conservapedia:
"And no man puts fresh grape juice into old bottles. The fresh juice will burst the bottles, spilling the juice and damaging the bottles. Fresh juice must be put into new bottles."

Comment
The Greek word οινος, translated "wine," actually meant "fruit of the vine" and was not fermented, as it commonly is today. Repeated references in the Book of Proverbs tell their readers specifically to avoid fermented grape juice. Furthermore, at least five methods of preservation were known to the ancients, methods that avoided fermentation, long before Louis Pasteur would invent his pressure-cooking method.
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Old 12-03-2009, 10:08 PM   #47
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Quote:
KJV
Then come unto him the Sadducees, which say there is no resurrection; and they asked him, saying,

Conservapedia:
Then some Sadducees came to Him. They say that there is no such thing as the resurrection. They asked Him,

Comment:
The Sadducees, followers of one Zadok, discounted anything "mystical" or miraculous in the Bible. Today, they would probably be evolutionists.
:rolling:
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Old 12-04-2009, 01:29 AM   #48
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Though hypocrite first remove the beam from your own eye before you remove the mote from mine.

This clearly has to go or they'll anger Jesus.
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Old 12-05-2009, 02:10 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petergdi View Post
The wormwood interpretation is bizarre. The obvious feature of wormwood is its intense bitterness. Anyone who has ever tasted wormwood tea (I have) would know just how bitter it is.

Peter
Actually wormwood is an important ingredient in Absinthe.

FWIW, and contrary to Conservapedia, Absinthe is currently legal in the USA (since December 2007.)

Andrew Criddle
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Old 12-06-2009, 09:10 AM   #50
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Absinthe really warms your insides better than other alcohol.
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