Boro Nut

Come to think of it, that would add a good twist to the nativity story. Three kings approach Bethlehem:-

King 1 - Behold, the star hath stopp-ed over yon small village, which appeareth not on any map of the time. That hath buggered it. How shalt we now find the palace of the great king who's coming was foretold unto us?

King 2 - I knoweth not wise friend. But hark, perchance those peasants in the burning shed may direct us.

Boro Nut

Stella

:rolling:

I don't know what I would do if I were you, but if I was me I'd definately want them closer, with rotating useful marquis-like messages that change in a timely manner and are up to date with current fashions.

Seinfeld, 9:00pm Channel 8
Milk will expire in 1 day
Gap sale tomorrow through wednesday
You left you keys in the door again
For fuck's sake turn the heat down when you leave already.

SLUGFly

don't you get it? The rest wasn't created until telescopes were created. God saw that people started to peer into the skies with curved glass and then he said "Oh Jesus!"
And Jesus said "yes?"
"No, no." God said. "It's those fucking humans again. You remember after Babylon when they started to cross the oceans, and I had to go and make the Earth a ball so the dimwits wouldn't fall off the edge? Well now they're starting to look up here. We've got to come up with something else for them to look at besides these white dots you put everywhere."
"Why?" asked Jesus.
"Because," replied God. "They'll be watching us. Do you want them to see you in the shower? Do you want them to see how your hung? Shit, thousands of my followers will lose faith in no time. Besides, if they've started looking up here that means they're bored, and if all they get to see is white dots then they'll get even more bored, and don't you remember what happened the last time they started getting bored?"
"The fourty years of wandering in the desert?" Jesus asked.
"Yes." God said. "I had to get up at 4 every morning to bake bread for the ungrateful bastards. We've got to think of something to distract them."
"How about planets?" Jesus said.
"What's a planet?" Asked God.
"You know, like stars but bigger... well, closer anyway so they'll look bigger when they look up here. We could change a few stars to planets and give them something to think about." Jesus said.
"I don't know... I don't want to go through the whole ordeal of making life again... I mean, look how this one turned out. Besides, how long can they stare at a couple planets without getting bored?"
"We could make the Earth move around the sun so that they don't get to watch the planets all the time."
"Are you fucking mad?!?!?! You want me to stop the sun, and then set the Earth moving???!!! You want me to recalibrate seasons and tides so that... well... alright fine, anything to keep these fucking humans off our backs. Say, you remember cousin Lenny?"
"From Rome?" Asked Jesus.
"Yeah, who were the couple that worked for him? You know, the sexy one and the really aggressive one."
"Oh," Jesus said. "You mean Venus and Mars. Man, that Venus is something else, me and Mars teamed up on her about 400 years ago, you wouldn't believe..."
"I don't want to believe!!!" God cut in. "Just give Lenny a call and ask him if he can contract them out to us... and no raunchiness this time, this is serious. Go get the angels and tell them to start brewing coffee, we have a big job going on here... might even be another seven days worth."

mongrel

I've split off McCravey's preaching derailment, which can be found here.

Diogenes the Cynic

:rolling: