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Old 08-14-2003, 02:10 PM   #1
snoiduspoitus
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Default Jesus is coming. Are you ready?

My son just came back from riding bike and told me about a new sign someone just posted a mile from my rural home. I could deal with this provided it is posted on a paid for billboard or on private land, (like multiple others around here) but there it is - nailed directly onto an electrical pole on the state road r/w:

"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

I predict that this sign will be removed shortly by persons unknown, but the more I think about it, I thought perhaps a sign directly underneath it would be more appropriate. I'm leaning toward something like:

"Bwa haa haa!!! 2000 years and counting".

I think I'll try to get a chuckle out of it while the getting's good, rather than pay a visit with a hammer. My other thought was to paint over the 'Are you ready?' part, and replace it with 'Shall I spit or swallow?'

I even thought perhaps I'd simply post the numbers from any of a number of offensive bible passages and make people look it up as a good gag. I don't know, maybe something about how to beat your children or handle your slaves. Something absurd from Hosea or Leviticus perhaps. Hell, this is too good to pass up.
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Old 08-14-2003, 02:23 PM   #2
Toto
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I like "Jesus is coming - Look busy" myself.

"Spit or swallow" - if this is a public relations ploy as opposed to personal revenge, best to avoid obscenities or sexual innuendo (not that the fundies would get that, I'm sure,)
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Old 08-14-2003, 02:30 PM   #3
Shadowy Man
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Jesus is coming.

But will he pull out?
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Old 08-14-2003, 02:50 PM   #4
snoiduspoitus
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Quote:
Originally posted by Toto
I like "Jesus is coming - Look busy" myself.

"Spit or swallow" - if this is a public relations ploy as opposed to personal revenge, best to avoid obscenities or sexual innuendo (not that the fundies would get that, I'm sure,)
Agreed on the spit or swallow deal, although I've not the least idea who put the sign up. No revenge here, just public property issues. No need to look like a jerk. I want to be witty as opposed to rude.
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Old 08-14-2003, 02:55 PM   #5
Mageth
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"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

Underneath:

"It's too late for a condom if you're not!"

or

"Coming together is so much fun!"
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Old 08-14-2003, 06:31 PM   #6
Rusting Car Bumper
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"Jesus is coming. Hide the stash."

DC
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Old 08-15-2003, 06:37 AM   #7
dangin
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Jesus is coming, and he knows you were only paying lipservice.
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Old 08-15-2003, 11:06 PM   #8
SLD
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Default Re: Jesus is coming. Are you ready?

Quote:
Originally posted by snoiduspoitus



"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

Outside of Birmingham, we have that billboard. I'd love to get a picture of it. There's a stern looking Jesus staring down and saying "Jesus is coming. Are you ready?" It just makes me shudder that people take that seriously.

How about this reply: "And how the hell do you know?"

SLD
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Old 08-16-2003, 01:12 AM   #9
Calzaer
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I like "2000 years and counting" myself. Especially if you could do it like one of those old-timey baseball scoreboards, where you can change the numbers.
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Old 08-16-2003, 10:14 AM   #10
Tony
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Default Always ready!

I like to compare religious propaganda to the communist propaganda in the former Soviet Union.

As kids 9-14 years old we were part of children communist organization "Pioneers". Our major slogan was:

"Pioneers, be ready to fight for the goals of the Communist Party!"

We had to answer:

"Always ready!"

Isn't it similar?

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