Godless Dave

Sunday morning I was driving through rural Wisconsin. Flipping through the radio stations I came across a preacher on a Christian station denouncing pre-marital sex. He said women who had sex with their husbands before marriage feel resentful and used even after they are married. Instantly I dismissed this as rhetorical BS. But after thinking about it, I'd like to hear how other people feel:

For married people:

Do you regret having sex before marriage, either with your current spouse or with other people?

Do you think you would be happier if you had only ever had sex with this one person?

Would it have been more special if you had waited until your wedding night to do it?

Do you feel jealous about the other people your spouse slept with before you were married to each other?

MadMordigan

no
no
no
no

replace 'have sex' with 'had dinner with' and you can see how stupid these questions really are.

Tom Sawyer

No, not at all. Life is about experience and sex is a good experience to have. Pre-marital sex has become a natural part of our culture and while one could argue for and against the merits of that, I don't have any problem at all with having done it. I have some regrets about some of the people I did it with, but not with having done the act itself.

No. I firmly believe that people should sow their wild oats a bit before settling down. I wasn't much of a player before meeting my wife, but I wouldn't have wanted to go through my marriage wondering what it would be like to go and have a fling with a woman and potentially ruin the marriage by waiting until afterwards to find out what it's like.

Not in the slightest. I remember the awkward fumbling of the first time. Despite the "Whoo-hoo, I'm finally having sex" feeling, everything got better with practice. The marriage itself was wonderful enough and the fact that we both knew what we were doing in bed made it better.

Nope. She had her life before me and I had mine before her. It helped make her who she is and I love her for who she is. I don't care what she did before she met me, it's what she does now that she knows me that counts. If, however, one of them were a handsome millionaire that she kept bringing up in conversations ... hey, wait a minute!

I've never seen anything to suggest that woman who had premarital sex feel any worse than those who did. Perhaps when they live in fundyland surrounded by sexually repressed dorks like those radio hosts, it'd be a different story, but normal people in normal societies don't really have a problem with it.

Bree

Do you regret having sex before marriage, either with your current spouse or with other people?

Yes, but only because I was having sex with a guy and I was 14 years old.

Do you think you would be happier if you had only ever had sex with this one person?

Well, I had my issues with it at first - thinking I was a bad girl and such-and-such because I hadn't waited for Jekyll, but I think that had a lot to do with the theism in my life.

Would it have been more special if you had waited until your wedding night to do it?

Well, let's see. I was trying to be a good little Christian and laid down the law - we were going to go six months without sex, dammit (six months before the wedding)! Then it dropped down to two months, then one month, then two weeks, then two days, and finally I said screw it (no pun intended). We would have been terribly crabby people had we had to wait!

Do you feel jealous about the other people your spouse slept with before you were married to each other?

Well, Jekyll didn't sleep with anyone before me, and she hasn't since...

Ut

As if there was such a thing as having too much sex...

Pensee

Definite "no" for my spouse. I do, in a way, regret some others. My biggest regret in that sense is that I wish my first time had been a little bit more special. It was more like a wham-bam-thank-you-mam type of thing. (All that stuff they say about teens being overprotected and then going buck wild is true!) However, if I had been in love prior to my spouse, then I doubt I'd regret any of it.

No. What I did back then has NO affect whatsoever on my life now.

Don't know. I doubt it, b/c every time is special. But I can't rule out the possibility.

<strong> Nope. I got him in the end. That's all that matters. It would be totally stupid to be jealous about things (people) he did before we ever met.

[ October 15, 2002: Message edited by: stardust ]</p>

Glory

Ditto.

I find it odd that the preacher was apparantly under the impression that only women can have negative feelings about sex.

Glory

tronvillain

While not yet married, I believe I would answer all of those questions in the negative. Well, maybe a yes on the third question, but it wouldn't be worth the wait.

ImGod

Do you regret having sex before marriage, either with your current spouse or with other people?

No.

Do you think you would be happier if you had only ever had sex with this one person?

No, but there is one ex-girlfriend I would rather have never met.

Would it have been more special if you had waited until your wedding night to do it?

Not at all. I had so much to drink by 2:00 am that I only vaguely remember the rest of the night. Good thing I had the weekend before to remember. But then again they could say I shouldn't have been drinking either. The bastards.

Do you feel jealous about the other people your spouse slept with before you were married to each other?

Not from what I've been told. Though she could just be blowing smoke up my ...

frostymama

No. I sort of regret NOT having sex with my husband before marriage. We abstained out of fear of my parents.

Hell no.

We did wait (we weren't virgins, but hadn't had Clinton definition sex with each other). I think it would have been more fun if we knew what each other liked.

Hell no.