copernicus

I have finally figured it all out. God really does exist, but Christians and other theists have only got it partly right. We were put on this earth as a test of our very souls, and those who fail the test will be sent straight to hell. Those who pass go straight to heaven.

Here's the deal:
[list=1][*]Rational thought is the essence of humanity. It sets humans apart from other animals.[*]God values rational thinking above all other forms of behavior.[*]To get into heaven you have to pass the rationality test.[*]The universe was obviously constructed in such a way that a rational being would conclude that God probably does not exist.[*]God goes to great length to hide his existence for precisely this reason. It's part of the test.[*]Any human that believes in God's existence is therefore destined for hell.[/list=1]

Of course, I don't believe a word of this. Otherwise, I would go straight to hell. Nope. I'm an atheist, plain and simple. However, I find this new theological doctrine far more compelling than the simple-minded idea that God rewards so-called "moral" behavior and punishes immoral behavior. God punishes irrational behavior and rewards rational behavior. But don't try starting up a church of Rationalitarianism. If you do, you're doomed.

It's ok to convert to atheism on your deathbed. God can be quite reasonable about this. But do think it through. After you die, the opportunity is lost.

Radcliffe Emerson

This is funny!
I like it!

JEST2ASK

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy
Well written, funny and thought provoking ...

However would both moral action (compassion, empathy, integrity, etc..) and rational thought be the basis for judging rewards in an after life. (sort of ... just my $.02)

hinduwoman

God wants intelligent conversation instead of sheep adoring him.
Of course only a specualtion based on my mind set ...

copernicus

Don't you think that it's a bit early to create a schism in Rationalitarianism? I just thought the thing up, and JEST2ASK starts challenging orthodoxy! In my version of the theological explication, moral behavior is subsumed by rational behavior. Enlightened self-interest gives rise to moral codes. God doesn't give a hoot about absolutist moral values. JEST2ASK risks blasphemy. The only thing that can save him/her is born-again skepticism.

Remember. This is very dangerous stuff. If you start believing any of it, you go straight to hell.

Zimyatin

So atheists are gawd's chosen people?

Bill Snedden

Then, to paraphrase the Inuit, "why did you tell us about it?" What kind of self respecting non-prophet deliberately spreads a gospel that should be ignored at all costs?

Regards,

Bill Snedden

and isn't this a little like trying not to think of the horse's tail?

Aradia

Yay! I'm going to heaven!

*Aradia does the happy dance*

copernicus

See, now, there's the issue. I can say anything I like without imperiling my soul. I just can't believe any of it. Consequently, I am just offering this as speculation that might or might not be helpful to some of our less fortunate bretheren and sisteren. Rationalitarianism is something to make Christians aware of, since they are all destined for hell if they don't repent their irrational faith. Somebody has to tell them.

BTW, Aradia, you have just condemned yourself to hell by believing this claptrap. Sorry. It's not too late to repent, though. Just remember that time's up when you die.

Aradia

Dammit! Looks like I'm going to hell no matter what.