Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Calzaer · 06-04-2003, 09:14 AM

Givens: God exists, God is the Christian God, The Bible is the infallible inerrent Word of God.

Quote: Judges 1:19
"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron."

Interpretation: God is not only NON-omnipotent, he's completely impotent against modern objects made of metal.

Fact: We have lots of modern metal objects.

Conclusion: If we could find him, we could kick his ass and take over.

God would lose if we staged a revolution! Everyone grab a chariot of iron (a jeep), we're storming Heaven! Kick the tyrant out of his palace and install a more enlightened, benevolent ruler!

eh · 06-04-2003, 09:52 AM

But how do we manage to bring iron weapons to the afterlife? And doesn't God have some kind of magic wand he could use against us?

Seriously though, I would be interested to know what the typical theist response to this verse would be. In other words, how is it interpreted to avoid God looking like a silly wimp of a deity?

Aravnah Ornan · 06-04-2003, 11:36 AM

Some theist wrote somewhere that people who didn't accept her particular version of the one true faith should arrange to be buried in asbestos suits. Alas, there was no provision to write letters to the editor, or I would have written in something about being buried in an iron chariot instead.

malookiemaloo · 06-05-2003, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aravnah Ornan
Some theist wrote somewhere that people who didn't accept her particular version of the one true faith should arrange to be buried in asbestos suits. Alas, there was no provision to write letters to the editor, or I would have written in something about being buried in an iron chariot instead.

God does NOT promise victory after victory for the Christian as many Christians will testify. But He is there with them as He was with the Israelites even though they could not conquer the iron chariots.

Get real Life is a bed of roses for no-one including Christians.

But, yes, if it was God's will He could have melted the chariots by merely saying the word.

m

BioBeing · 06-05-2003, 09:12 AM

Quote:

how is it interpreted to avoid God looking like a silly wimp of a deity?

Quote:

if it was God's will He could have melted the chariots by merely saying the word.

There. See how easy that was.

Aravnah Ornan · 06-05-2003, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by malookiemaloo
But, yes, if it was God's will He could have melted the chariots by merely saying the word.

Would you care to reconcile that with what the verse actually says, particularly those pesky words "could not"?

Spenser · 06-05-2003, 11:14 AM

The only protection I am worried about is a rubber...

DarkBronzePlant · 06-05-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aravnah Ornan
Would you care to reconcile that with what the verse actually says, particularly those pesky words "could not"?

Must've been a translation error. I hear that Hebrew for "could not" is pretty close to Hebrew for "didn't want to bother getting up off of his heavenly ass in order to"

NonHomogenized · 06-05-2003, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Calzaer
God would lose if we staged a revolution! Everyone grab a chariot of iron (a jeep), we're storming Heaven! Kick the tyrant out of his palace and install a more enlightened, benevolent ruler!

Ummm... I don't have the money to get a jeep. Can I just use my current car? I think my turbocharger should make up for the lack of jeepiness

malookiemaloo · 06-06-2003, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aravnah Ornan
Would you care to reconcile that with what the verse actually says, particularly those pesky words "could not"?

The Bible tells you why. The Israelites did not have chariots!!

Perhaps the Israelites only had a pretence of trusting God but were actually putting their trust in military might instead of God, just like George Bush?

m

06-04-2003, 09:14 AM	#1
Calzaer Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,762	We have nothing to fear from God! Givens: God exists, God is the Christian God, The Bible is the infallible inerrent Word of God. Quote: Judges 1:19 "And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." Interpretation: God is not only NON-omnipotent, he's completely impotent against modern objects made of metal. Fact: We have lots of modern metal objects. Conclusion: If we could find him, we could kick his ass and take over. God would lose if we staged a revolution! Everyone grab a chariot of iron (a jeep), we're storming Heaven! Kick the tyrant out of his palace and install a more enlightened, benevolent ruler!

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06-04-2003, 09:52 AM	#2
eh Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada Posts: 624	But how do we manage to bring iron weapons to the afterlife? And doesn't God have some kind of magic wand he could use against us? Seriously though, I would be interested to know what the typical theist response to this verse would be. In other words, how is it interpreted to avoid God looking like a silly wimp of a deity?

06-04-2003, 11:36 AM	#3
Aravnah Ornan Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Alexandria, VA, Faith-Based States of Jesusland Posts: 1,794	Some theist wrote somewhere that people who didn't accept her particular version of the one true faith should arrange to be buried in asbestos suits. Alas, there was no provision to write letters to the editor, or I would have written in something about being buried in an iron chariot instead.

06-05-2003, 11:14 AM	#7
Spenser Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Don't you wish your boy friend got drunk like me, Posts: 7,808	The only protection I am worried about is a rubber...

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