Freethought & Rationalism Archive

dwp666 · 03-23-2002, 08:28 AM

Let's have a vote for the bizzarest Bible story. Here is my nomination:

Exodus 4:24 As per the burning bush's instructions and well armed with a few miracles to prove he is the "loving" God's messenger, Moses set off for Egypt. The scripture says inexplicably, while at a camping place on the way, the "loving" God met Moses and tried to kill him. No explanation is given as to why but luckily, a helpful couple cut off their son's foreskin and touched Moses' feet with it. Out of an apparent respect for the rite of circumcision, the "loving" God spared Moses' life and the story continues on without any further mention of this bizarre incident.

Daggah · 03-23-2002, 09:16 AM

Flood story.

x-member · 03-23-2002, 10:14 AM

[ June 16, 2002: Message edited by: Jon Up North ]</p>

Queen of Swords · 03-23-2002, 10:41 AM

---------------------

"Jesus Dahmer!"

---------------------

pescifish · 03-23-2002, 11:06 AM

Can we include the Book of Mormon? I am enthralled by Joseph Smith's story: "Sorry Dad, I feel sick and can't work hard today because some dang holographic angel kept appearing throughout the night, in repeat recording mode."
And...
"I know I saw those gold plates somewhere around here..."

Pomp · 03-23-2002, 11:47 AM

2 Samuel, chapter 24.

Yahweh orders David to take a census. After taking said census, David realizes that it was sinful of him to take a census. Yahweh slaughters thousands of Isrealites as punishment.

[ March 23, 2002: Message edited by: Pompous Bastard ]</p>

Krieger · 03-23-2002, 11:54 AM

The "creation" story, and that people actually believe it... Its quite sad actually.

Someone7 · 03-23-2002, 12:40 PM

Judges 19.

Egoinos · 03-23-2002, 12:50 PM

Genesis 38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

Thats it! No explanation, nothing!
Wierd...

Grumpy · 03-23-2002, 04:35 PM

There are many candidates, but I'll have to go with this one, because it has provided a popular (and useful!) quotation: Matthew 16:21-23 (also in Mark 8:31-33, though this exchange is omitted from the corresponding scene in Luke 9).

Quote:

16:21 From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.

16:22 Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.

16:23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

To me, "bizarre" is shouting down your pal and calling him Satan because your pal doesn't want you to be killed. Oh, and the previous verse has Jesus tell his disciples to be hush-hush about all the Christ-talk; it's a secret, see? Bizarre.

[ March 23, 2002: Message edited by: Grumpy ]</p>

03-23-2002, 08:28 AM	#1
dwp666 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: North Bay, Ontario, Canada Posts: 59	Vote for the bizzarest Bible story! Let's have a vote for the bizzarest Bible story. Here is my nomination: Exodus 4:24 As per the burning bush's instructions and well armed with a few miracles to prove he is the "loving" God's messenger, Moses set off for Egypt. The scripture says inexplicably, while at a camping place on the way, the "loving" God met Moses and tried to kill him. No explanation is given as to why but luckily, a helpful couple cut off their son's foreskin and touched Moses' feet with it. Out of an apparent respect for the rite of circumcision, the "loving" God spared Moses' life and the story continues on without any further mention of this bizarre incident.

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03-23-2002, 09:16 AM	#2
Daggah Banned Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Deployed to Kosovo Posts: 4,314	Flood story.

03-23-2002, 10:14 AM	#3
x-member Banned Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: free Posts: 123	[ June 16, 2002: Message edited by: Jon Up North ]</p>

03-23-2002, 10:41 AM	#4
Queen of Swords Contributor Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Canada. Finally. Posts: 10,155	--------------------- "Jesus Dahmer!" ---------------------

03-23-2002, 11:06 AM	#5
pescifish Beloved Deceased Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: rural part of los angeles, CA Posts: 4,516	Can we include the Book of Mormon? I am enthralled by Joseph Smith's story: "Sorry Dad, I feel sick and can't work hard today because some dang holographic angel kept appearing throughout the night, in repeat recording mode." And... "I know I saw those gold plates somewhere around here..."

03-23-2002, 11:47 AM	#6
Pomp Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Indianapolis area Posts: 3,468	2 Samuel, chapter 24. Yahweh orders David to take a census. After taking said census, David realizes that it was sinful of him to take a census. Yahweh slaughters thousands of Isrealites as punishment. [ March 23, 2002: Message edited by: Pompous Bastard ]</p>

03-23-2002, 11:54 AM	#7
Krieger Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: ... Posts: 2,191	The "creation" story, and that people actually believe it... Its quite sad actually.

03-23-2002, 12:40 PM	#8
Someone7 Banned Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 376	Judges 19.

03-23-2002, 12:50 PM	#9
Egoinos Regular Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 423	Genesis 38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. Thats it! No explanation, nothing! Wierd...

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