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BibleBelted · 10-31-2002, 01:09 PM

. . or so says my favorite fundy gasbag, John Hagee. You know he would never lie -- he's a man of gawd.

He was doing his annual "Trick-or-treating will turn your children into demon-possessed serial killers" episode last night. Nothing too unusual, he had some British woman on explaining all the evils of Harry Potter and how it lures children into the occult. You know, the standard fundy crap.

But then they start going off on babies being kidnapped and sacrificed to Satan.

According to Hagee, up to "two million children disappear in the US every year, and although many are just stolen for sexual bondage, a huge number are kidnapped to be sacrificed in rituals devoted to Satan." Of course, we all know when most of these rituals take place. Halloween!

Thankfully, he has prepared a two part video series on just how dangerous it can be to allow your kiddies to dress up in costumes and ask for candy. (Also, the British woman had a book on the dangers of Harry Potter.) Amazingly, he does not give out any of this vital information for free; however, these important lessons can be yours for only $39.95 (Visa and MasterCard accepted).

His breathless sales pitch is really something to see. You don't know whether to laugh or throw up.

And fundies are always complaining that we treat them like morons. Well guess what? If you've ever given John Hagee any money . . you are a moron!

simian · 10-31-2002, 01:18 PM

Holy Crap!!!

Let's see.... 284,796,887 is the current US population... 25.7 % of those under 18.. so 73,192,800 "children", if "child" is defined as under 18.. so 3 % of the children in the US are stolen per year... So if your child is in a class with 30-35 children, you can expect one of those children to be kidnapped PER YEAR.

Wow! It must be the satanic press keeping this under wraps.

Simian

Edited to add: census info from <a href="http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/00000.html" target="_blank">here.</a>

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: simian ]</p>

Bible Humper · 10-31-2002, 01:24 PM

Heh, I've been told so many times that the Vancouver area is the world capital of human sacrifices. It's amazing how these cults never get pinched, they must be using some pretty powerful spells to get away with it!

We should organise an annual Halloween game of Magic Wars for the theists, we'll put the Xians on one side and the Devil worshippers on the other, and let both sides dance around mumbling incantations at each other. Minimum wager is $20.00, and the house wins on the off chance that the contest results in a draw.

10-31-2002, 01:09 PM	#1
BibleBelted Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Oklahoma, USA Posts: 891	Satanic human sacrifice common in America . . . . . or so says my favorite fundy gasbag, John Hagee. You know he would never lie -- he's a man of gawd. He was doing his annual "Trick-or-treating will turn your children into demon-possessed serial killers" episode last night. Nothing too unusual, he had some British woman on explaining all the evils of Harry Potter and how it lures children into the occult. You know, the standard fundy crap. But then they start going off on babies being kidnapped and sacrificed to Satan. According to Hagee, up to "two million children disappear in the US every year, and although many are just stolen for sexual bondage, a huge number are kidnapped to be sacrificed in rituals devoted to Satan." Of course, we all know when most of these rituals take place. Halloween! Thankfully, he has prepared a two part video series on just how dangerous it can be to allow your kiddies to dress up in costumes and ask for candy. (Also, the British woman had a book on the dangers of Harry Potter.) Amazingly, he does not give out any of this vital information for free; however, these important lessons can be yours for only $39.95 (Visa and MasterCard accepted). His breathless sales pitch is really something to see. You don't know whether to laugh or throw up. And fundies are always complaining that we treat them like morons. Well guess what? If you've ever given John Hagee any money . . you are a moron!

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10-31-2002, 01:18 PM	#2
simian Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: St. Louis, MO area Posts: 1,924	Holy Crap!!! Let's see.... 284,796,887 is the current US population... 25.7 % of those under 18.. so 73,192,800 "children", if "child" is defined as under 18.. so 3 % of the children in the US are stolen per year... So if your child is in a class with 30-35 children, you can expect one of those children to be kidnapped PER YEAR. Wow! It must be the satanic press keeping this under wraps. Simian Edited to add: census info from <a href="http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/00000.html" target="_blank">here.</a> [ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: simian ]</p>

10-31-2002, 01:24 PM	#3
Bible Humper Veteran Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,125	Heh, I've been told so many times that the Vancouver area is the world capital of human sacrifices. It's amazing how these cults never get pinched, they must be using some pretty powerful spells to get away with it! We should organise an annual Halloween game of Magic Wars for the theists, we'll put the Xians on one side and the Devil worshippers on the other, and let both sides dance around mumbling incantations at each other. Minimum wager is $20.00, and the house wins on the off chance that the contest results in a draw.

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