The Gnostic

Let me begin with a disclaimer that this only applies if you believe in a God in the first place. This does not necessarily reperesent my beliefs, yet. And while some of this is tongue-in-cheek, I feel it is a good point to ponder.

First, my assertion: "God (as in Xian, or derivative thereof) is male."


Second, my proof: Boobs. (yes, laugh, but think about it.) God created boobs. Not only that, but he put them right up front where we could see them, etc. If God had been female, do you REALLY think "she" would have made them easy to get to? I believe if God were female it would have taken an act of, well, God to get to the darn things. To put on top of that, one only has to look at all the other issues women are thrust with: menstruation, child birth, menopause, bad hair days, having to sit down to pee, etc.

I think you see what I am getting at with this. Naturally many women will say something like "God is a women and knew that only we were strong enough to put up with this...". But I say BS, and I do mean with capital letters. If God were a woman, us guys would have to worry about if the toilet seat was up, and whether or not we were wearing white pants.

To go a little further with the role of boobies in mankind, consider these points:

The Venus of Villendorf (sp?) - the oldest known sculpture, depicts what? A woman with really big boobs. Yes, yes I know, all the rhetoric about fertility, etc. But that's my point about boobs.

Or consider men's and womens' magazines. What are GQ, Maxim, Sports Illustrated, etc. crammed full of? You got it, boobs, with scantily clad women displaying them. Then look at Cosmo, ELLE, etc. What are they full of? You got it, scantily clad women displaying there boobs. Be it a "side boob" shot, or "under-boob", etc.

What it comes down to is men want to see and play with the boobs of these women, and women generaly want to have the boobs of these women.

Granted, many will say that all this is merely the cause of men objectifying women, and such. But that partly plays into my assertion as well. Do men do that? Sure. But come on ladies, we all know that most of you don't go out to by that cute little dress or bikini for us. You go out to look better, or show off to the other girls. As you all know, you are your own worst critics.

Consider all the devices out there to enhance the Almight Boob. Water Bras, cross-your-heart, Wonder-Bra. You can lift 'em, flatten'em, perk'em up, spread 'em out, and a myriad of other things. But how many Wonder jocks are out there? Granted, there is the odd novelty item, but you catch my drift.

Which brings me to another part of the topic. ( I apologize in advance for multiple references to the extermity that usually defines a "male"). Let's be honest guys, in reality the male member just is not a piece of sculpture. It's not generally considered "attractive" or what have you, by many. Not by itself anyway. Yet women are urged, pushed, asked, coerced, and some even given an urge, to interact with it. If God had been a women, don't you think she would have either made it more attractive? Or at least a little less invasive? I mean, really, women have to worry about if it is clean, whether or not it goes in the wrong hole. About whether to spit or swallow. What it does once it finds that right hole. Men on the other hand are pretty much good no matter what whole we find. Heck, many men try to put it in the oddest of places.

Therefore, my final assertion is this:

"It all about the boobies".

Comments/Observations?

WWSD

Originally posted by The Gnostic
Let me begin with a disclaimer that this only applies if you believe in a God in the first place.

Well, there's your first problem, most of us don't believe in a god. But this was still fun to read.


First, my assertion: "God (as in Xian, or derivative thereof) is male."


Only if he has a Y chromosone. Does god have chromosomes?

The Gnostic

"Only if he has a Y chromosone. Does god have chromosomes?"


Good point, whereas one could ALMOST argue that God is a lesbian. Except for the whole standing up to pee and all that.

I knew most here don't believe in a God. But aside from the humor aspect, I think there are some real points to ponder about the gender of the Xian God.


Oh, and no clue about the chromosomes.

WWSD

Indeed, it does bring up an interesting point. A point which was a player in my loss of faith, though not a prime player.

I could never figure out why an eternal, all powerful, unique being would need reproductive organs. Especially in light of the fact that this god had no other gods with which to mate.

I could also not figure out why he would have a posterior with which to moon people, and why he was so human like if he was such a grand being.

I never bought the theists arguments, and eventually this little "paradox" just added to my objections to the idea of god.

God was created in man's image, as far as I am concerned.

So, if you are The Gnostic, do you think that there are archons out there trying to keep me from enlightenment? How do I know you aren't one of them?

Should I take the red pill or the blue pill?

christ-on-a-stick

Welcome Gnostic one!!! All I have to say is this: If you can develop a religion out of this, sign me up.

Ensign Steve

At the risk of being serious for a second, boobies have a function other than looking and feeling good. Some women actually use them to feed their babies. I wouldn't even point out that oh-so-obvious fact about them, except I just finished reading a couple of really good articles on breast-feeding and the taboo breasts have as sex-organs, etc.etc.etc.

That said, I have no kids, and boobies rule! I'll join that religion too. I like having 'em, and I like looking at 'em and playing with 'em. Sign me up!

Jen

frostymama

Sadly, food is the only function these boobies have had for the last couple of months.

*needs to do something about that*

The Other Michael

Obviously, God is a wanker.

cheers,
Michael

The Gnostic

First, thanks for the great reception. Been reading for a little while now, but finally decided to jump in.


I do agree with the women that boobs have an alternate function. But think about it in that respect as well. First, just because the boobs do that, doesn't mean that they had to be presented in such a light. For that matter, the "milk" could have been held in internal glands. Yet, if you believe the Xians, he put them right out there up front, for us to ponder. Yes, I know it's more convenient for the mother to hold the children right there, but still, they could have been made less "attractive" in many ways.

Additionally, who but a male god, would make it so that boobies were presented to us right in the beginning, at birth? What a great concept (for guys and lesbians anyway). Which also gets to the pain and distress that breast feeding can cause women. Another argument against God being a woman.



P.S. I will be starting a religion complete with books and movies starring "The Almighty Boob" (tm).

P.S.S. I do have children, which were breast fed, at least for a short time. Helped me formulate my theory I suppose.

P.III. Although I chose this particular nick, it is merely for the conversation factor. My actual beliefs will come out I am sure as I comment on this board.


edited due to poor grammar.

Ensign Steve

Is it possible that they are considered attractive because they are the food-makers? It is instincutal for people to be drawn to them, because those that weren't starved to death and got wiped from the gene pool. I'm saying it wouldn't matter WHAT they looked like, they would have been considered attractive regardless. But that argument requires that humans (and boobs) evolved through natural selection and weren't "created" by god. So if boobs were created by god and did not evolve, I will concede that your argument stands, and said god was likely a man.