NFLP

...God sacrificed himself TO himself to pay a debt for which he is the creditor but yet powerless to handle it any other way?

...refusing to sacrifice the creator's gift of Reason on the altar of Myth&Superstition is really the only infraction which merits spinning on a spit for eternity?

...monkeys might fly out of my butt?

Denshuu

I'll grant the likelyhood of the third proposition, but the previous two are quite ridiculous.