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Old 05-25-2007, 06:26 PM   #91
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How about:

"In the beginning, ... ..."
Right on! :notworthy:
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Old 05-25-2007, 08:49 PM   #92
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Mine was Jesus telling everyone they'd live until His Second Coming..
No no, you got that wrong. Jesus was telling everyone that the generation that saw Israel become a nation again will live to see Jesus come again. Common enough mistake though.
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Old 05-26-2007, 06:09 AM   #93
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alot of what is said in the bible, has different meaning that what it acutally appears to be. Dont forget, "ancient" people were writing this
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Old 05-26-2007, 06:37 AM   #94
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"Original sin"...

And the whole Hebrew nation buying into the Levite free barbeque scam...
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Old 05-26-2007, 09:53 AM   #95
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Remember God's recipe for Ezekiel and his beloved children of Israel:

EZEKIEL 4:9 Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof, according to the number of the days that thou shalt lie upon thy side, three hundred and ninety days shalt thou eat thereof.

EZEKIEL 4:12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.

EZEKIEL 4:15 Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
Check your local supermarket's bread aisle for the bread inspired by this passage.http://www.foodforlife.com
Strangely, there's no mention of dung on the website.
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:30 AM   #96
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Exodus 32, specifically when Moses talks God out of destroying the Israelites for making a golden calf. How can an omniscient being lose an argument with a man?
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Old 05-26-2007, 12:24 PM   #97
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Well - has been pointed out the Adam & Eve thing and Eve not knowing the difference between good and evil anyways.
Also isn't punishing all humankind for the rest of eternity a bit of overkill? The specific punishment of making women feel pain during childbirth - don't many (all) animals anyway?


Followed by Noah and just how utterly pointless the Ark story is.
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Old 05-27-2007, 09:52 PM   #98
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An absurd story is where Jesus fed some people out of compassion because they were tired and hungry. Considering the hundreds of thousands if not millions of people who died of starvation, there is no way that that story happened. There are not any good reasons for anyone to believe that Jesus performed any miracles at all. Today, millions of Christians disagree as to what constitutes miracle healing. Why would it have been any different back then? Possibly because the Bible is inerrant? Well, one problem with that approach is that no one knows what the Bible is. All that we have today is copies. It is impossible to evaluate inerrancy unless it can be reasonably established that the copies that we have today accurately represent the originals. The book of Revelation warns against tampering with the texts. If tampering were not possible, there would have been no need for the warnings. Today, it would be a simple matter for some skeptics to change parts of the Bible, take it some remote jungle regions, and deceive at least some people some of the time. So much for Biblical inerrancy.
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Old 05-27-2007, 10:58 PM   #99
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The whole Bible is a WTF moment for me. I class it with Mein Kampf and 120 Days of Sodom as one of the truly filthy classics of literature.

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Old 05-28-2007, 06:46 AM   #100
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The Book of Job....one long "WTF???" Chapter 1 by itself would be enough of a WTF, but the WTFing doesn't stop there.
I second that. Nice example of a supposedly "loving god" playing games with his followers and placing bets with an evil being he is said to have created.

About nine years ago, when I was going to a Xian counselor to deal with my mother's illness and death, I mentioned the book of Job. I asked him "What if my mother was being tested?" and "What if I'm being tested?" My counselor looked sort of frustrated and said "I really wish that book wasn't in the Bible."
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