Freethought & Rationalism Archive

squiddy · 07-28-2002, 02:59 PM

This has really got me thinking...

If the banana proves the existence of God, then it also proves for once and for all that life is a vast cosmic joke, for what else in this universe has more inherent comedic potential than the banana peel, mainstay of Slapstick.

So now we know the truth. I always thought that if God existed then he was the Master of Irony, but I have found out today that instead, God is the Master of Slapstick.

At least now we know who to blame for all those cream pies in the face...

~Squiddy

Typhon · 07-28-2002, 03:49 PM

Oh my,

This is a joke right? Can people really be this stupid? Why join a cult if they ask you to check you brain in at the door, sigh.

I guess the countless other poor fruits which do not fit this pattern just were not loved by JF's fanciful god, such as these:

Seeds of the Devil! Look out Jebus, it's the evil Devil Pod a.k.a. Bat Nut or Bull's Head or Water Caltrop. Good thing man discovered fire, because raw, these babies are toxic!

The Fruit that Ate Hawaii! Yes boys and gals, this one must have been intended for the monstrous get of Cain. Spiny gargantuan pineapples are not beloved of goddidit! See the freakishly large size and pointy outer parts! Furthermore these fruits are, gasp, complex! Not for the feeble minds of the faithful, beware!

Yet another Tropical Horror, the hairy coconut, tufted imp of the Heart of Darkness! This humanist loving hairy cannonball is clearly the spawn of the goat-hoofed lord himself. Located either at the tops of neck breaking freak-trees, or else plummeting to earth as husked death bombs (likely the demise of countless shipwrecked white missionaries, oh the humanity!), the lover of Jebus just says no to their hairy-as-Darwin's-bead exterior and tempting, sinful creamy interior.

Is that brimstone I smell? No, it's just the loathsome durian, a fruit condemned by gods and airports alike. Woe to the foolish who thinks to pluck the Reeking Fruit of Satan! Woe to he or she who seeketh the fleshy heart of this foul windfall. Like the dreaded co-co-nut, this pestilent fruit is freakishly large. It is also blasphemously sometimes called "The King of Tropical Fruits!" We all know that the only REAL King of Fruits, is Jebus! Do not bow down before this false (and smelly) idol.

.T.

[ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Typhon ]

Starboy · 07-28-2002, 04:05 PM

Typhon, that is toooooo much! <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

aofl · 07-28-2002, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Freak:
Note that the banana:

1) Is shaped for human hand
2) Has non-slip surface
3) Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
4) Has a tab for removal of wrapper
5) Is perforated on wrapper
6) Bio-degradable wrapper
7) Is shaped for human mouth
8) Has a point at top for ease of entry
9) Is pleasing to taste buds
10) Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

Only a fool could claim that this was formed by accident. All the facts point to creation.

You forgot one. It's also a natural laxative. I guess having a clean colon is part of god's plan.

aofl

Starboy · 07-28-2002, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aofl:


You forgot one. It's also a natural laxative. I guess having a clean colon is part of god's plan.

aofl

That's not the effect it has on me!

jordan_tar · 07-28-2002, 04:20 PM

I'm allergic to bananas, and my throat swells up so badly when I eat them that I can barely breathe.

Typhon · 07-28-2002, 04:23 PM

Well, thanks Starboy.

Humor aside, I just don't get the point of singling out one fruit, such as the banana, as some strange "proof" of god.

There are many, many other fruits that do not follow the "advantages" of the banana. What are these? Lesser fruits? Evil fruits? Fruits That Man Was Never Intended to Eat?

As other posters have pointed out, even a cursory look at the world shows that it has either not been designed for our maximum pleasure and/or benefit, or else it was the work of a poor or even possibly malicious (at least one with a cruel sense of humor) designer.

Undrinkable salt-water covers more than 70% of the world's surface, much of it at depths so deep, that exploring it let alone exploiting it, is more difficult than space. Deserts and badlands pocket the globe, as do other types of habitat that are extremely hostile to human use and habitation. Meat bearing animals are stubbornly costly to maintain, raise, or capture. Previously, much of nature red in tooth and long of fang, were almost as likely to make meals out of us as the reverse. "Dominion" over the earth has come only haltingly, at great price, and remains incomplete.

Don't get me started on Australia! A place where 9 out of the 10 most venomous/deadly biological things (just about anyway) live, on a continent whose interior is desert, and coastal areas brimming with swamps, man-eating-sharks, and monstrous crocodiles, doesn't strike me as having been "designed" for a race of soft skinned, big brained apes.

Much of the world is toxic to us, and even a brief study of botany shows that plants have evolved a wide variety of methods of propagation and seed dispersion, just one of which happens to be fruits and nuts which other organisms, humans among them, find tasty. If this speaks to anything, its that plants and animals have been evolving side by side for a very long time, and are without a doubt, dependent on one another for their continued survival.

.T.

[ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Typhon ]

Starboy · 07-28-2002, 04:39 PM

There are two things the ID people overlook when they present their idea:

1. The designer has not been so kind to give us the details as to how he did it, so we have to fall back on good old fashioned science to figure it out anyway. So what is the point?

2. It is not obvious what creature the universe was designed for. Most of it is empty space, so it can't be for a creature that needs oxygen and water to exist. So the designer could care less about us.

Starboy

Starboy · 07-28-2002, 04:56 PM

If the universe were designed based on what can be seen, the earth and the life on it would be the equivalent of the grass that grows in the cracks of your driveway, an unintended consequence of creation.

Starboy

[ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Starboy ]

Camaban · 07-28-2002, 04:59 PM

as for Durian: I was in Thailand recently, and passed a stand selling durian. First thing I did was start looking for the dead animal (LONG dead animal)

But, apparently it's an extremely delicious fruit (I wasn't game)

Why make an extremely delicious fruit like that smell THAT bad?

07-28-2002, 03:49 PM	#32
Typhon Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mount Aetna Posts: 271	Oh my, This is a joke right? Can people really be this stupid? Why join a cult if they ask you to check you brain in at the door, sigh. I guess the countless other poor fruits which do not fit this pattern just were not loved by JF's fanciful god, such as these: Seeds of the Devil! Look out Jebus, it's the evil Devil Pod a.k.a. Bat Nut or Bull's Head or Water Caltrop. Good thing man discovered fire, because raw, these babies are toxic! The Fruit that Ate Hawaii! Yes boys and gals, this one must have been intended for the monstrous get of Cain. Spiny gargantuan pineapples are not beloved of goddidit! See the freakishly large size and pointy outer parts! Furthermore these fruits are, gasp, complex! Not for the feeble minds of the faithful, beware! Yet another Tropical Horror, the hairy coconut, tufted imp of the Heart of Darkness! This humanist loving hairy cannonball is clearly the spawn of the goat-hoofed lord himself. Located either at the tops of neck breaking freak-trees, or else plummeting to earth as husked death bombs (likely the demise of countless shipwrecked white missionaries, oh the humanity!), the lover of Jebus just says no to their hairy-as-Darwin's-bead exterior and tempting, sinful creamy interior. Is that brimstone I smell? No, it's just the loathsome durian, a fruit condemned by gods and airports alike. Woe to the foolish who thinks to pluck the Reeking Fruit of Satan! Woe to he or she who seeketh the fleshy heart of this foul windfall. Like the dreaded co-co-nut, this pestilent fruit is freakishly large. It is also blasphemously sometimes called "The King of Tropical Fruits!" We all know that the only REAL King of Fruits, is Jebus! Do not bow down before this false (and smelly) idol. .T. [ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Typhon ]</p>

07-28-2002, 04:23 PM	#37
Typhon Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mount Aetna Posts: 271	Well, thanks Starboy. Humor aside, I just don't get the point of singling out one fruit, such as the banana, as some strange "proof" of god. There are many, many other fruits that do not follow the "advantages" of the banana. What are these? Lesser fruits? Evil fruits? Fruits That Man Was Never Intended to Eat? As other posters have pointed out, even a cursory look at the world shows that it has either not been designed for our maximum pleasure and/or benefit, or else it was the work of a poor or even possibly malicious (at least one with a cruel sense of humor) designer. Undrinkable salt-water covers more than 70% of the world's surface, much of it at depths so deep, that exploring it let alone exploiting it, is more difficult than space. Deserts and badlands pocket the globe, as do other types of habitat that are extremely hostile to human use and habitation. Meat bearing animals are stubbornly costly to maintain, raise, or capture. Previously, much of nature red in tooth and long of fang, were almost as likely to make meals out of us as the reverse. "Dominion" over the earth has come only haltingly, at great price, and remains incomplete. Don't get me started on Australia! A place where 9 out of the 10 most venomous/deadly biological things (just about anyway) live, on a continent whose interior is desert, and coastal areas brimming with swamps, man-eating-sharks, and monstrous crocodiles, doesn't strike me as having been "designed" for a race of soft skinned, big brained apes. Much of the world is toxic to us, and even a brief study of botany shows that plants have evolved a wide variety of methods of propagation and seed dispersion, just one of which happens to be fruits and nuts which other organisms, humans among them, find tasty. If this speaks to anything, its that plants and animals have been evolving side by side for a very long time, and are without a doubt, dependent on one another for their continued survival. .T. [ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Typhon ]</p>

07-28-2002, 04:56 PM	#39
Starboy Banned Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Tallahassee, FL Reality Adventurer Posts: 5,276	If the universe were designed based on what can be seen, the earth and the life on it would be the equivalent of the grass that grows in the cracks of your driveway, an unintended consequence of creation. Starboy [ July 28, 2002: Message edited by: Starboy ]</p>

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07-28-2002, 02:59 PM	#31
squiddy Regular Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Stuck in a red state Posts: 388	This has really got me thinking... If the banana proves the existence of God, then it also proves for once and for all that life is a vast cosmic joke, for what else in this universe has more inherent comedic potential than the banana peel, mainstay of Slapstick. So now we know the truth. I always thought that if God existed then he was the Master of Irony, but I have found out today that instead, God is the Master of Slapstick. At least now we know who to blame for all those cream pies in the face... ~Squiddy

07-28-2002, 04:05 PM	#33
Starboy Banned Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Tallahassee, FL Reality Adventurer Posts: 5,276	Typhon, that is toooooo much! <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

07-28-2002, 04:20 PM	#36
jordan_tar Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Denver/Tulsa Posts: 78	I'm allergic to bananas, and my throat swells up so badly when I eat them that I can barely breathe.

07-28-2002, 04:39 PM	#38
Starboy Banned Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Tallahassee, FL Reality Adventurer Posts: 5,276	There are two things the ID people overlook when they present their idea: 1. The designer has not been so kind to give us the details as to how he did it, so we have to fall back on good old fashioned science to figure it out anyway. So what is the point? 2. It is not obvious what creature the universe was designed for. Most of it is empty space, so it can't be for a creature that needs oxygen and water to exist. So the designer could care less about us. Starboy

07-28-2002, 04:59 PM	#40
Camaban Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 473	as for Durian: I was in Thailand recently, and passed a stand selling durian. First thing I did was start looking for the dead animal (LONG dead animal) But, apparently it's an extremely delicious fruit (I wasn't game) Why make an extremely delicious fruit like that smell THAT bad?

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