Louis_S

I'm presently working at a religious school. I decided to take a year off from college and do service for a year. It has been a fantastic experience, and I feel like I've matured a great deal; however, my plans have hit a bit of a snag. Through my studying, I've found that I no longer believe in God. After much thinking, studying, and praying, I have withdrawn from my faith. Most of the other staff don't have much of an idea, but I'm slowly letting them know.

This brings me to my question: Should I stay here? I'm very undecided, and I can find several reasons to stay and several to go.

On the one hand, I've got a relatively good and easy job. I do registration, and hotel front desk type work, as well as some amount of desktop publishing and publicity. (Our facility is deeply understaffed). The work isn't hard, and for the most part I enjoy my co-workers. Also, I committed to doing a year of service (which will end in July) and feel some amount of obligation to finish. Also, as they're already understaffed, and it will be difficult to replace me, what will they do without me? For the most part, I think people will accept me pretty well. The administrators have know that I've been questioning for about a month now, the don't seem too worried, but they've been giving me strange looks since then. They now know that I've recanted, and they want to talk to me about my service, which sounds a tad ominous to me.

On the other hand, there's also many of the staff that are a great frustration for me, we live and work together on an essentially closed campus, so 24-7 we're around each other. I don't have many of the freedoms that I would if I left (I'm almost 22 years old with an 11pm curfew). I'm increasingly finding that I don't want to be here and that my efforts are hardly rewarded. I'm certainly not staying for the money, I don't get paid at all. Also, it'd be really nice to be closer to my family, they've been a huge support in my life, and I could use that right now. Although I know this has been very hard for them, they've been very accepting. Part of me also feels like I should be at home to support them as well.

Further, I interact with nearly all the people that come to the school or call it, nearly all of them are believers. Is there something deceptive about an atheist having this type of position at a religious school? I guess this is vaguely similar to the musicians that accept gigs at churches, but I have much more direct interaction with the guests. Finally, the local congregation is essentially the staff. Everyone goes to all the religious services and with 30 people here, my absence is noticed pretty quickly. I've tried going, but it just doesn't feel the same.

It has been pretty good to just write this all down and look at it. I'm pretty undecided, usually about 55% of me feels like I should stay, 45% feels like I should go, but that changes day to day. So I'll also throw it out to the other people here on the board: Should an atheist be doing a religious mission at a religious school?

whanau

It really is simple, if you don't you are only lying to yourself and to others

Viti

It's a volunteer position? Missions are meant for believers, I would tell them flat out "I no longer believe and feel it is hyporitical to stay here...what do you think" and get the hell outta there.

The Other Michael

Give them a reasonable amount of notice that you intend to leave, and try to get your workload as organized as possible (written instructions for the next person would be nice) before you leave.

If you took the position without pay (and with lifestyle restrictions) for the "greater glory" of a diety, your non-belief would seem to release you from any obligation.

Yes, you don't want to leave them in the lurch, but giving them notice and doing your best to ease the transition would, I think, statisfy a reasonable person's expectations of any obligation you may have to them.

If they give you a hard time, you can point out that if you stay you'd probably have to start "sharing" your new-found views with all and sundry, and that might not fit into their plans too well.

good luck,
Michael

southernhybrid

I agree with what Michael just posted. If you really wanted to stay, that would be one thing but it sounds as if you are ready to move on to something else. Do it gracefully and don't have any regrets.

Louis_S

Thanks for all of your insights, I'm probably thinking along the lines of what The Other Michael said. I'll need to give at least two weeks notice anyway, so hopefully that'll make the transition somewhat smooth.

I appreciate other perspectives, I've been looking at this too long without input.

Miss Piggy

I think you should work there until July, because you have promised to do so. It's only a couple of months, anyway.