Anson

Any other guys completely incapable of chatting up females? I certainly am. I'm not bad looking. I'm reasonably intelligent and I'm friendly, but I just can't do it for some reason. I've only had one girlfriend in my 21 years, and that's only because she blatantly cracked onto me. :boohoo:

mikester

yep, you've described me to a T.

im decent-looking, had a few girlfriends (nothing big), and im chatty most of the time. but, when it comes to attractive girls, im always at a loss for words unless im totally comfortable with the girl in question.

i often say dumb things, dumb jokes, or nothing at all. when im lucky, i just let them talk and i smile and nod a lot .

im getting better though, i must admit. it's taking time and practice, but im getting more and more confident with girls at parties.

BigBlue2

Same with me. Most of my long-term romantic/sexual relationships have arisen from prior platonic friendships with the particular girl. I have few problems getting one night stands or one week stands when I travel, but when it comes to chatting up girls in a pub or something like that, I have the most appalling trouble.

I know the reason - I am introverted, shy and have low self-esteem - but doing something about it is another matter.

NonHomogenized

Well, I'm not 21, and I've had 4 girlfriends (all of whom asked me out), but, yeah, that's pretty much how it is for me

cjack

I wouldn't worry about it too much at this point.

I was pretty much a wallflower until I was 19...and not much better after that! Shy, introverted, socially inept, but not bad looking...yeah, that was me.

Give it some time. By the age of 25, I was a whole lot better. Not a player, just better. A couple years after that, I actually had about a year or two when I never had less than 2 girls on the hook at once.

Then I got married, and it all went to hell!



I think experience has a lot to do with it. I spent a lot of time with really extroverted people, and watched and learned from them. I kept at it, and like anything you practice a lot, I got better.

Stiletto One

I dunno, I usually manage to maintain a decent exchange with girls I've never met before, but then again, it's pretty rare for me to find a random girl attractive. I'm one of those weird guys who can't get interested in someone just for her looks, because I'm after psychological interplay more than sexual intercourse.

Oh well.

I'm 17, and I've had one 'relationship', not counting a couple of brief get-to-know-each-other flings. And I really don't feel like I'm missing out at all by not partaking of the little two-week blitzkrieg 'relationships' that I see a lot of my peers go through. :boohoo:

NZAmoeba

You could do what I do/did, accidentally stumble upon someone online.

Your OP describes me pretty well, except i have had NO relationships. However, i did have a lot of female friends online, and talking to them on a near nightly basis has helped my confidence around them a LOT (i think i get along with girls better than guys now...).

And then yeah, almost out of nowhere i fell for another girl online, and as first relationships go, what i have now is pretty damn incredible.

so the conclusion is: make friends with girls first, before you graduate onto the harder stuff (i wouldn't recommend trying to get with the girls you're friends with, that can turn ugly, but they can be great sources of advice)

Loren Pechtel

You're describing me, also. A total disaster in romance, and the few dates I did get were obvious failures. Being in classes that were 90% male didn't help one bit, either.
Then I got totally lucky. I had known her for months but I had mistakenly thought she was already taken. She was operating under the same misconception. One day we realized our mistake. We've been married 15 years.

Anson

Hehe, that's me too. Mr smile-and-nod.

hezekiah jones

I recall Claudia Schiffer being not too terribly captivated by my urbane banter, but other than that, nope.