Mediancat

Is there an actual movie called Johnny Pneumonic? (I suppose he's a big blowhard.)

Or were you thinking of Johnny Mnemonic instead?

(Just in case I missed a really lousy movie . . .)

Rob aka Mediancat

happyboy

i would be trapped in the world of dr seuss' creations. i kid you not, his art and stories scared the hell out of me as a kid.

happyboy, fearful of anything seussian

Acinom

LOL! Good one!

And now for my version of hell.

I walk into a room full of smoke and get handed a glass of warm red wine that tastes like puke. I look around and realize that no one's actually inhaling cigarette smoke. They're all standing around with wine glasses and cigarettes in hand, all trying to make "witty" remarks to outdo each other. They're not really drinking the wine either. Both the cigarettes and the wine are just for props, to show everyone how absolutely cool and chic they are. The smoke clears a little bit and I finally realize that Rush Limbaugh, Oprah, Dr. Laura, and Dubya are standing all around me. Dubya makes the comment, "States should have the right to enact reasonable laws and restrictions particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live" and everyone bursts into applause. Shouts of "Oh, you're so smart!" and "Oh, you're so eloquent" ring throughout the room.

After the party , we were treated to 12 rounds of U.N. meetings where diplomats threw insults at each other through "diplomatic" language. Meanwhile, some poor secretary ran into the conference room every five minutes to inform everyone of how many millions more children throughout the world were dying of radiation poisoning. :banghead:

Acinom

oops! This thread is about SILLY versions of hell.

haha. I guess I got kinda carried away. A silly version of hell in my mind is if I was homebound and my parents kept going out to buy home decor stuff, and every single time they would buy seventies-orange paint, or big bulky traditional couches that can't even fit through the door.

Dammit, Seventies color palette does NOT go with traditional furniture! ARGH!

Buddrow_Wilson

On one of the rare occasions that my mother dragged me to a church as a child, the preacher was ranting about how everyone in hell is listening to heavy metal music, smoking marijuana, having sex out of wedlock etc. He mentioned nothing of eternal torment and i thought 'this guy is not making a good case for trying to avoid this place'

Autonemesis

I had always heard this version of that joke:

Heaven
Is where the police are British, the cooks French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian, and it is all organised by the Swiss.

Hell
Is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German, and it is all organised by Italians.

In my version of Hell, life would be just like it is today except that you'd love your job. Yes, the same job you have now. For all eternity. And you'd love every second of it.

-RRH-

They don't torture you right away. First you have to get the right paperwork filled out. So, you stand in line, and when you reach the front of the line, they tell you that, before you can fill out the forms to request the torture forms, you need to get your identification papers, so you have to stand in the other line.

And you always have to go to the bathroom, but if you try to, it won't come. And you would lose your place in line, besides.

Puck

A room full of crying babies.
With dirty diapers.

Oooh, a vast room of carpet, full of fleas. Fleas will leave a dog and walk a mile to get to my legs. And the itchies are sooo bad, I scratch them with my heels while I'm asleep and make the wounds worse. Ugh. Give me buring sulfer pits any day.

The christian heaven. Let me fly free throughout the universe if there's life after death. Let me soar past Saturn and hit the 'road' to Orion's belt! Let me do cartwheels through Nebula. Puh, who wants god when you have those options!?

Loren Pechtel

P4 3ghz with 2gb of ram, 200gb HD. Dos 1.0.

(Note: Dos 1.0 did not support subdirectories. IIRC 256 files maximum.)

Oxidizing Material

Hell is where all the women are lesbians, and you're not allowed to watch/join in