cesoid

Hello everyone,

My name is Todd Cesere and I just realized how hard it is to introduce myself when I don't know what anyone wants to know.

I guess I might as well say something about my experiences with religion. I was raised Catholic in a way that I can barely describe because I've only recently realized how my experience of being "Catholic" or "Christian" in general was different from most other people's. A good example of why this is the case is a description of my mother; She was both very dedicated to the Catholic church and a big science fan. I suppose this isn't a hugely rare occurrence, since Catholics are probably some of the Christians most inclined to try to unite the two things.

I began to lose my apetite for Catholicism when, at age 16, it was time for me to participate in the sacrament of comfirmation. This meant that I would attend classes in preparation, classes which made me see something that I had been ignoring: Catholicism is full of really strange things that no one is inclined to have a realistic conversation about.

I struggled with these things, asked tons of questions to different people, and then just decided I had to be confirmed or my dad would have a heart attack. But after continuing to attend classes I reached my breaking point and realized that I couldn't put on a show anymore. I found out my dad was only worried because he thought my mom would be upset, and my mom wasn't really upset because she didn't want me to be confirmed unless I believed in the stuff. I mean, if you think about it, it doesn't make sense to be "confirmed" in your beliefs when you're barely even holding onto them.

That wasn't the end of it though, I still wanted to be Christian, even if it meant no longer being Catholic. But this too came into doubt, and I spent the next year trying to put the plug back in the hole and stop my beliefs from leaking out. I soon went from Christian to "theist", then to what you might call "skeptic", and then finally to the "strong" version of Agnostic (the kind that don't believe in God and are pretty sure that nobody else should believe in God.) Quite simply, the more I tried to find a realistic defense of any religious beliefs, the more I found that applying realistic thought to my beliefs made them go away. It was all a matter of treating all ideas equally, rather than giving protection to some of them by allowing them to be treated with special rules.

When I became agnostic I quickly decided that religion was harmful to people, and to the world in general. I guess I just thought that dishonesty is rarely good for anyone. I've since found many more specific reasons that religion, and mostly "faith" is hurtful to people everywhere. I've come to believe that the root of all problems caused by religion is that it promotes and uses a certain way of thinking.

At age 18 I started writing a novel with the intention of expressing these ideas. At age 24, only a few months ago, I finally finished it and published it independently. (Don't want to blatantly advertise here, if you want to know about the book look at my profile.)

Well, now that I've written my autobiography for you, I think I'll stop. I'm glad I found this board, and I'll probably read up on some of the other threads now.

Muad'Dib

Well, I for one wouldn't mind knowing your credit card numbers and expiration dates. Just kidding!

It sounds like you will find our Secular Lifestyle & Support forum interesting, and in particular the Atheists' Testimony thread. There's also General Religious Discussions, too.

Enjoy your stay!

Ockhamite

Welcome cesoid...

I liked your line about....'plugging a hole to keep your beliefs from leaking out.' That's an apt metaphor for the futility of stopping this process once it gets started. Once they leak out...they're gone, and beliefs are not volitional....we do not get to choose our beliefs. We can't refill with other beliefs that fail rational examination nor can we pretend this process is reversible. We are only left with that which remains from this 'survival of the fittest'.

I've always been skeptical of theists who claim to have been atheistic, but, now have a 'belief in a god'. If rational inquiry led to doubt, then, what kind of dishonesty is involved in reasserting a belief that defies rationality. If there is a hell, then surely there's a special area for those who pretend to believe in god.

Though intangible, there is a certain 'peace of mind' with an honest, rational belief (or non-belief).